Rene Zellweger in the Carolina Herrera

The Bride on the Beach

Manolo says, here you see the Rene Zellweger in the beautiful-if-perhaps- inappropriate-for-the-beach-wedding Carolina Herrera wedding gown with her new husband the Kenny Chesney.

The Manolo he is hoping that the hunky country doofus husband, he wore to the ceremony something the little more formal than the untucked white shirt and the grey pants.

Still, the Manolo he could not be happier for the loopy Rene Zellweger and her ersatz cowboy with the hat too big for his head. And, likewise he can only approve of the intimate, romantic nature of the ceremony and the way the Rene she managed to keep the loathesome papparazzi at the great distance.

May they long be happy.

22 Responses to “Rene Zellweger in the Carolina Herrera”

  1. Emma May 11, 2005 at 6:05 am #

    The Squinty McZellenpfeffer, she has no waist and mannish hips and should have chosen another gown, more flattering to her figure. Oh well, perhaps at the next wedding.

  2. Annalucia May 11, 2005 at 7:45 am #

    To get married on only two weeks’ acquaintance, this does not seem very smart to the Annalucia. Still, she wishes them well. She also agrees with Emma that the gown does not suit La Zellweger’s figure. And what of the shoes? One can only assume bare feet under the gown, or perhaps flip-flops from which one can easily shake the sand.

  3. Noralita May 11, 2005 at 9:47 am #

    I cannot help but shake my head and mutter “Non, non, et non” for the BrideZillaweger — She marries this Mr. Chesney after he writes the love song inspired by her performance in the Jerry McGuire? Did she not learn anything from the lovely Rita Hayworth? “Every man I have known has fallen in love with Gilda and wakened with me”.

  4. Fuzzball May 11, 2005 at 9:56 am #

    Well, they have known each other for over four months now, not just two weeks…I still think the whole thing is bizarre though. But Miss Renee has always been odd, you know? Jim Carrey—->Jack White—->Kenny Chesney. Uh huh. Bizarre.

  5. Ellen May 11, 2005 at 10:51 am #

    I fear this is the publicity stunt for the Chesney and the Squinty McBulimia.

  6. Mimi May 11, 2005 at 10:52 am #

    Sometimes you just know when someone is right for you, and in those cases time is of little importance. If two people are similar enough mentally and spiritually and then together grow in the same direction, then the romance and marriage probably will not only last but will strengthen with time. If the connection is based mostly on physical and/or emotional attraction, well, probably not because those aspects are so fluidly changeable.

  7. The Scarlett May 11, 2005 at 11:37 am #

    The Scarlett is so glad that the Renee of the Zellweger has ditched the dark hair. The Renee looked like a slightly beefier version of the Laura Flynn Boyle (as you suspect, this is not a compliment) with the dark hair. The Scarlett has never been a great fan of the looks of the Renee (those very, very squinty eyes Ayyyyy!) but she likes the dress for a non-beach occasion. Still, The Scarlett wishes the Renee and her boy of the cows the bliss of the matrimony.

  8. Wickwire May 11, 2005 at 12:08 pm #

    Renee Chesney?

  9. La Cabrita May 11, 2005 at 1:19 pm #

    It is not for the looks or the hairline that the Renee McZillenpfeiffermeiserstuckenweggerville has chosen the hayseed. I must remember that the Renee is the Texan girl. And we can take the Renee out of the Texas, but the Texas… it cannot be removed from the Renee. The Texan women they like the good old boys.

    This is the compliment. As the mother of La Cabrita is the Texan. Her father is from the Los Angeles, but he drives the truck and shoots the guns. This explains the attraction.

    I wish them many banjo-playing, pumpjack-riding mini Hayseeds.

  10. Esther May 11, 2005 at 4:00 pm #

    I’ve heard rumors that Mr. Chesney is of the gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and Mrs. Chesney-Zellweger was/is his new Mrs. Beard?

  11. mike May 11, 2005 at 4:26 pm #

    (cough) Lyle Lovett.

  12. nat May 11, 2005 at 4:55 pm #

    I don’t care what they wore…as long as they are HAPPY and this thing lasts!

  13. Bluegrass Mama May 11, 2005 at 6:10 pm #

    The dress I can live with, but why did The Zellwegger not do something with the hair beyond putting it in the untidy tail of the pony?

  14. Pinky May 11, 2005 at 6:18 pm #

    Mrs. Chesney always looks as though she has just gotten a whiff of the pooh.

  15. MollieBee May 11, 2005 at 7:56 pm #

    Awww they do look cute in a what the hell? sort of way.

  16. M May 12, 2005 at 9:16 am #

    I am happy for the Renee and think she looks great. Especially inspired by the low-key simplicity of the whole thing, including the gown and even the hat. Mazel tov!

  17. Bridget May 12, 2005 at 12:46 pm #

    mike says: (cough) Lyle Lovett.

    And that’s exactly what I thought. Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts. Huh? Didn’t Julia get married barefoot as well withouth the super fantastic shoes?

  18. desertwind May 12, 2005 at 4:41 pm #

    she looks so happy.

  19. the stella May 12, 2005 at 5:12 pm #

    the stella seconds the comment of the scarlett. praise the lord she changed her hair color.

  20. desertwind May 12, 2005 at 7:16 pm #

    The Desert Wind, a fan of the Jack White, was not familiar with and prepared to dislike the Kenny Chesney, however — have you had a listen over at Amazon?

    Boy Howdy!

    That boy has got a verrrry sexy voice.

    And a house on an island paradise.

    Life has not always been so fair to the Desert Wind…

  21. LittleMissAnnieOaklee May 13, 2005 at 2:54 pm #

    The LittleMissAnnieOaklee says why did the Kenny Chesney wear sweat pants to his own wedding? Even if we are in the islands, couldn’t we come up with something better than sweats?

  22. MD May 14, 2005 at 1:10 pm #

    It is quite romantic, if only from afar…..