The Ten Plagues of The Europe

Manolo says, ayyyyy! Day two of the Eurovision Song Contest and already it worse than the ten plagues that the angry Yahweh meted out to the unjust Pharoah and the Egyptians. Look at the comparison.

First Plague…Danish pop doofuses

Second plague…the vocal stylings of Croatia’s own Boris and the Belly Buttons.

Third… Norwegian Village People glam rockers.

Number four…Andorra?

Five… caterwauling Portagees!

Ayyyyy! What awaits us as we sink through the inky depths of Hell. The locusts, and the frogs, and the boils, they are nothing compared to this!

16 Responses to “The Ten Plagues of The Europe”

  1. Annalucia May 19, 2005 at 3:12 pm #

    The Annalucia, she is laughing too hard to leave a comment.

  2. Kayleigh May 19, 2005 at 4:31 pm #

    You know, I think this particular Hungarian band was included merely so that the S&M river dancing demographic didn’t feel underrepresented.

  3. Emma May 19, 2005 at 4:36 pm #

    The Hungarian Incarnation of Michael Flatley will start the finale on Saturday! That can’t be bad in my book.

    But ayyyy, to quote the Manolo; the Israeli “singer”, she must be stopped! When the Ofra Haza, she was the contestant, you did not see this on the stage.

  4. Kirstine May 19, 2005 at 5:43 pm #

    Hey, at least our doofus can actually sing!

    He may look silly, and the song may be boring, but that’s a whole different ballgame. You see, the ESC (pffft..) is supposed to be kitch, they are supposed to look and act really odd, and more tha a few are supposed to sing off key. That is why we Europeans love it so much: It’s hilarious. It’s the whole point.

    Personally, I’m rooting for the Norwegian hair band. I love a well executed parody, and those guys are just too damn funny.

  5. Susan May 19, 2005 at 6:03 pm #

    From the underlying article “Eurovision contestants tend to go for tunefulness, vivid outfits and stage shows that eschew refined tastes.”

    It’s nice to see Europeans beating us unrefined Americans at our own game.

  6. Carol May 19, 2005 at 8:47 pm #

    That guy at the bottom looks an awful lot like Tom Hanks….

  7. cris May 19, 2005 at 8:55 pm #

    The Lagerfeld’s band, it plays tomorrow?

  8. mango May 19, 2005 at 9:41 pm #

    Andorra! Population 70,549! Tucked between France & Spain! Saaaaalute!

  9. The Lonewacko Blog May 19, 2005 at 10:15 pm #

    Off the topic: George Soros suggests that you visit this shoe-related post.

  10. shmarollynn May 19, 2005 at 10:41 pm #

    I’m so, so very frightened. And yet, I can’t tear my eyes away…

  11. Fernando May 19, 2005 at 11:43 pm #

    Go Andorra! Do you realize that this country is smaller than Wichita Falls TX? I’ll buy an adult drink to anybody that can put together a group of 6 nutcases of equal or superior subrealistic value made exclusively of Wichita Falls residents.

  12. Minna May 20, 2005 at 2:13 am #

    Ditto on everything that Kirstine said! Go Norway! :)

  13. Phoebe Mittens May 20, 2005 at 2:21 am #

    You love it really, just like the rest of us. :D

  14. Christie May 20, 2005 at 11:54 am #

    Where can one watch such spectacularness?

  15. JoeB May 20, 2005 at 12:48 pm #

    The lead singer frm Norway, he should try the Mick Jagger “pants stuffing” next time.

  16. Esther May 23, 2005 at 1:18 pm #

    The Manolo, has me in the serious stitches. People are staring, and I don’t care. :)