Death Grip of Super Masculinity Update

Manolo says, ayyyyyy! Careful! Don’t accept any invitations for the dinner at the Scientology Celebrity Centre.

P.S. Go away Tom Cruise! The Manolo he is now officially weary of your hyperactive-chimpanzee-on-meth antics.

No more Tom Cruise! No more Cruise pictures! No more Cruise news! No more Death Grip of Super Masculinity at the blog of the Manolo! Please for the love of all that is holy go away.








30 Responses to “Death Grip of Super Masculinity Update”




  1. amy Says:

    I’m thinking this whole ’super-masculinity’ thing is a plot to cover up his super homosexuality… I agree wholeheartedly with the Manolo. Go away, tom.




  2. Willis Says:

    I could not agree more. Tom Cruise should just go away.




  3. Stacy Says:

    The Stacy says, “Ha ha! I knew it!”




  4. oh navel Says:

    Take your shiny suited self away Mr Tom. We are bored with you.




  5. sandyg Says:

    I worry that he is starting to squeeze the neck of the Steven Spielberg…Will George Lucas be next? Where has he stashed his daughter Katie? Has she escaped?




  6. Ellen Says:

    I feel so bad for Steven Spielberg - look how uncomfortable he is. Don’t worry, Steve, crazy isn’t catching!




  7. kimmi Says:

    AMEN to that Manolo!




  8. The Beanmaiden Says:

    I don’t think Tom Cruise is homosexual, I think he is any-man-woman-or-object-who-could-possibly-increase-his-fame-sexual.




  9. One-Sixteenth Says:

    Humor of the Morning

    I did laugh out loud this morning, and it’s all Natalie’s fault. She linked to Manolo’s Shoe Blog, which is full of snarky potshots at celebrities: perfect for my mood this morning. Manolo linked to these … interesting shoes. He…




  10. PL Says:

    Should have seen this coming, though hindsight is 20-20: He was dancing around in his underwear in Risky Business, chomping his teeth at people in Top Gun, and over-emoting all over the screen in Born on the Fourth of July, years ago even. Mea culpa, Manolo, for I have seen these movies in theaters, maybe even more than once, and have contributed by staying silent…




  11. Bis Nation Says:

    Um, it was Actually Val Kilmer that did the chomping in Top Gun. Tom Cruise did the Cow-with-curd-in-his-mouth gum chewing for that movie. Not the chomping. No, the Bis Nation has not seen Top Gun 539 and 1/3s times. She has not! Why do you ask?




  12. Magdolena Says:

    The recent media exposure of Tom Cruise has turned my disinterest in him to complete loathing. Be gone with you Tom Cruise! The chances I plunk down cash to see you in a film are getting slimmer and slimmer . . .




  13. LF Says:

    I haven’t liked him from the beginning. And then , after the Last Samurai, I thought, “hmmmm, well maybe I could like him.” Nope! Seems I was right all along…..what one does in one’s personal life DOES affect your work life and your reputation!!




  14. Agnes Says:

    Oh the Manolo, you are so funny! But I understand your feeling … I’m fed up with the Tom Cruise too!




  15. Lori Says:

    My dog is more cool and aloof than Mr. Cruise.




  16. DAFINA GIRL Says:

    I blogged on exactly the same issue and then came over to your blog and had to add a link to your page. I am SO OVER this dingbat!




  17. Bruce Says:

    If Cruise he is going to squeeze George Lucas’ neck, he is going to need the very big hands indeed!




  18. Jane_t Says:

    When is the mothership coming for him? Not soon enough.




  19. Xenu Says:

    I APPROVE OF THE HOLMES-CRUISE UNION. THETANS WILL REJOICE IN GALACTIC JOY. MAY MANY FUTURE SCIENTOLOGIST YOUNGLINGS SPRING FROM THEIR CELEBRITY LOINS.




  20. Leith Says:

    and to think I used to have a crush on him.
    Go back to being a vampire Tom, it made sense that you were grabbing people’s necks then.




  21. alex Says:

    Katie Holmes used to eat breakfast at a diner in my town (a Dawson’s Creek filming location) and the waitstaff there always said she was really nice and liked waffles and I just want to use this opportunity to say RUN AWAY FROM THE SCARY CULT MAN, Katie! Flee!

    I’m sorry, since this is going to be the last post, I just had to get that off my chest.




  22. Tia Nieve Says:

    The Tia Nieve says, now that the Manolo has banned the pictures of the Cruise, is it safe for the Tia to come out?

    The Tia was frightened by the fans of the Kelly Clarkson.




  23. NuggetMaven Says:

    I liked Tiny Tom much better way back when he used to *NOT* speak to the press and be elusive about his personal matters.




  24. JoeB Says:

    The Tom says: “Steven, I knew it was you all along!”




  25. Andrea Says:

    Poor Katie Holmes. If her family and friends care about her, they would do well to stage an intervention and hire a good deprogrammer, before it becomes impossible to extricate her from that cult.




  26. Sandy Says:

    The Manolo is a laughing as only The Nicole exwife could be at this misadventure




  27. lisa Says:

    This week, my favorite e-column, Popbitch, reports:

    Katie Holmes is an anagram of “Tom Likes A He”.




  28. Canadian Headhunter Says:

    Tom Cruise believes that mental illness never has a biological basis. But every religious person believes something that can’t be proved and often odder than that. I guess it’s the passionate assertion of his ideas that irritates people lately. I like that grey suit. As for neck twist on Steven S, perhaps Tom is also studying chiropractic.




  29. anonymouse Says:

    The super masculinity behavior of the Tom Cruise cannot hide the super homosexuality he exudes nor the super lousy movie remake of the War of the Worlds.




  30. Gigi Says:

    Please make it stop!




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