Gliding, not Clomping

Manolo says, one of the Manolo’s many internet friends has asked the Manolo the question.

After a very very down day, I decided to do something nice for myself and soon thereafter had my first ever pedicure. My feet looked so great, I decided to go get some new summery shoes to celebrate. I found some beautiful sandals, very similar to the ones featured in your “Not So Cheap For The Beach” post. Much to my surprise, they FIT wonderfully (I have large feet, and oddly shaped), and best of all, as you would say, they were on the sale!

I was thrilled to look down at my feet and see something superfantastic there, so I made up my mind then and there, bought the shoes, and enjoyed my new happy mood all the way home. Manolo, I was so excited to see pretty shoes on my feet that I forgot to walk around in them a bit before I bought them.

With every step, thwop! thwop! thwop! the back of the shoe slaps the sole of my feet. They fit wonderfuly and are perfect in every other way, but this thwopping! Oy! It makes me feel so self-conscious that I drag my feet a little, and because the sole of the shoes has a bit of ridging, if I’m not walking on a perfectly smooth surface it tends to sound like… ah… gastrointestinal distress. NOT NOT NOT superfantastic.

I see other women wearing these kinds of shoes all the time, and I know that the thwopping is not really as loud as it seems to my ears, but… is there some kind of a trick, some anti-thwop device, a special walk I can practice? Do I strap Velcro to my feet or put a dollop of superglue on every time I wear them? Or do I just grit my teeth and force myself to ignore it? It’s hard to have a superfantastic stride when you’re trying to keep your shoes quiet.

Ayyyyy! The flipping and the flopping it is indeed most annoying, not only to the flipper and the flopper but also to those innocents who may be within the range of this noise.

However, have not the fear. The Manolo, although he himself is not the wearer of the slides or the mules, knows the answer to your question.

The secret to the walking gracefully in the pair of the slides or the mules it is as close as your nearest old-fashioned lesson of correct Victorian deportment. The secret it is to practice walking in the shoes, but to do so as the stuffy old ladies they trained the proper young ladies in the days of the past, with the book on the head.

Yes, this it sounds ridiculous, but the book on the head it forces the correct posture. And if you wish to learn to glide with a certain gracefulness, instead of clomp with a certain bovineness, this it will help train you to do so.

The Manolo, he will now ask his many internet friends for their suggestions.

Alexander McQueen, Fashion Scout

Manolo says, Umm, Excuse me Ms. Crabapple. MS. CRABAPPLE! I have to go number one!