The Axis of Ego

Manolo says, Tweedlevulgar and Tweedlephoney.

23 Responses to “The Axis of Ego”

  1. AskMom August 25, 2005 at 12:37 pm #

    AskMom, she is ashamed that her generation, the boomers, they must claim the Donald and the Martha. It is the great sadness, although it does give one a little laughter as the small compensation.

  2. SuperMex August 25, 2005 at 2:03 pm #

    I never realized Martha was so derriere-challenged. I still think she is magnificent.

  3. The Scarlett August 25, 2005 at 2:54 pm #

    The Martha isn’t especially “derriere-challenged.” This is what a woman of her vintage looks like if she has taken care of herself and worked out a bit while in prison.

  4. willow August 25, 2005 at 5:14 pm #

    Plus her shoes are super-cute!

  5. missjulie August 25, 2005 at 9:41 pm #

    never mind martha’s rear, or lack of it….isn’t the donald looking rather portly????? seems like having that lovely young bride would motivate him to stay in shape.

  6. The Raoul August 26, 2005 at 6:44 am #

    The Donald, he wears the expression of the dufus, or is he looking at the cleavage?

  7. Anonymous August 26, 2005 at 7:51 am #

    “The Axis of Ego”

    Dime sighs contentedly, as she realizes that once again, The Manolo has achieved le mot juste

  8. Juvy August 26, 2005 at 8:09 am #

    Martha’s shoes ARE the Prada, are they not? Of this season? the black platform slingback pumps? They look suspiciously like the Prada black platform slingback pumps…especially in the adds for the Apprentice.

  9. The Charlotte Allen August 26, 2005 at 12:04 pm #

    I know this is Shoebloggerly incorrect, but I like Martha, who, among other things, took her prison sentence like a man…er, woman.

    For one thing, unlike the Donald, Martha does have genuine taste (the shoes are fab and undoubtedly just the thing with an electronic anklet). And she genuinely knows the domestic crafts from which she has made her fortune. In that way she’s quite differenfrom the truly fraudulent “Her Ladyship” Madonna, who has no taste whatsoever.

    And let’s give the Donald a break, too. He’s just an ebullient self-made vulgarian who, like Martha, is a brilliant self-marketer. That hairstyle of his should be punishment enough for him.

  10. Norma Desmond August 26, 2005 at 1:36 pm #

    THE DONALD IS NOT SELF-MADE. I do not mean to be unkind to any fellow devotee of the Manolo, but I am sick sick sick of this myth. One can argue that he expanded on the real estate business created by his father, but one can also point out that he has had multiple bankruptcies. What one cannot say, with any degree of verisimilitude, is that he is “self-made”. His father’s success furnished him with every advantage and opportunity in building his own career.

  11. Christina August 26, 2005 at 2:59 pm #

    Norma, next you are going to tell me that Mr. Bush is not a down-home ranching Texan!
    Blasphemy!

  12. Norma Desmond August 26, 2005 at 3:57 pm #

    Oh, Christina, how the Norma hates to shatter the pretty illusions of the innocent young peoples. I know you are a trusting young lady, and this is to be prized in this cynical age. Your complete faith in the Donald and the George Bush is obviously very sincere, and heart-warming in its lack of guile. How sad I am to tell you, then, that they are both chock-full of the very smelliest kind of crap.

  13. The Charlotte Allen August 26, 2005 at 5:16 pm #

    Norma: Yes, Trump’s father was in the real estate biz, but on a much smaller and more local scale than his son. Perhaps my definition of “self-made” is too broad, but I don’t think you have to have been born in a log cabin to be self-made.

  14. Norma Desmond August 26, 2005 at 5:49 pm #

    Dearest Charlotte, it pains me to disagree with someone whose judgment in blog-reading is clearly so superior, but the Norma must say that when one’s father is a multi-billionaire whose business one moves into, and when that father furthermore co-signs most of the early loans which enable one to build one’s “empire”, and when one further defaults on many of those same loans later in one’s career, and is then bailed out by said father, there are many besides herself who would and do find the label “self-made” misapplied. But let there be nothing but good feeling between us, for we agree completely about his hair!

  15. Fausta August 26, 2005 at 6:53 pm #

    I do like the shoes of the Martha, though.

  16. Kniteratti August 26, 2005 at 7:42 pm #

    Ah, so now we wait for the next chapter to write itself. Now that Mary Magdalen’s good name has been vindicated after centuries of women being erased from the history of faith, it will be but a moment’s work for the Spin Doctors at Martha.com to undo a felony conviction.

    Martha, she models herself after the Donald, who is to those who know him well often called a bitch. Perhaps she shall be heretofore known as TheMartha or Her Ladyship. She too will marry a not very bright but much younger man who will love her for her money and the life she can give him. He will be supportive and kind, and she will immediately begin to have him followed. The marriage will be a spendiforous affair that will be much photgraphed. He will be shown on the cover of GQ in his tux, that will have a cumberbund pattern included we can all cut out and make in our craft room using silk dupioni and Elmer’s glue. He will have a dodgy career that keeps him out of sight and trouble, and become friends with other kept men. She will detail his home office in an article and kits will be available from Kmart, except for the shackles shown bolted to the desk chair that some minion (soon to be fired) forgot to airbrush out. He and his contemporaries will lament their plights together as they ride her horses on the farm, stopping off shirtless for frosty lemonade under a grove of trees where silent and respectful household help smiling awaits, that Martha will later give Oprah the recipe for late at night by fax as the Steadman will have included in his new contract that it to be made daily and it includes a secret ingredient (tamarind but don’t tell!) Martha’s beautiful bisexual young husband will of course be unfaithful and make secret calls to the SEC at night from a pay phone along the highway, hoping to send her back to Alderson, but it will fail when he disappears off the side of a yacht moored off of Scorpios and all this will be highlighted in my novel soon to be published “How I Got What I Wanted: And the Antibiotic Regimine that Goes With Him.”

  17. Gidget Bananas August 26, 2005 at 8:50 pm #

    The Norma Desmond, she is very clever! I laugh!

  18. Barb Freda August 27, 2005 at 9:29 am #

    I, like the Charlotte, also adore the Martha. I can’t help myself. I don’t know if I would have been able to do Alderson the way she did.

  19. Norma Desmond August 27, 2005 at 10:36 am #

    The Norma does not adore the Martha, but were someone to refer to her as “self-made”, she would agree completely; after all, the woman attended Barnard on a scholarship. This is precisely why she resists the appelation with respect to the Donald, for he had every advantage, and yet still conducts himself in such a fashion as to make the trailer park residents blush.

  20. BAH August 27, 2005 at 11:29 am #

    Ms. Martha is looking gooood! For an insider-trading she-devil, of course!

  21. The Charlotte Allen August 27, 2005 at 5:08 pm #

    Norma: We do agree about the hair, and I did not realize that the Donald’s dad had been quite so rich. That does pull the rug of excuses out from under the Donald’s appalling combover, suits, ties, architecture, and general bloated insufferability, doesn’t it? Still, he’s got a certain animal energy, and he hasn’t committed any major crimes. I was enchanted by the first season of “The Apprenctice,” then got bored. And Barb Freda, it’s nice to know there’s another Martha fan out there. Everyone dumps on Martha–and I sure wouldn’t want to work for her–but she is, as Norma points out, truly a self-made wonder.

  22. fashoenista August 30, 2005 at 4:16 pm #

    I too like Martha. I really enjoy reading her magazines and I have learned quite a lot from them. And she does look very good with this suit–her legs look a mile long–and the shoes sure are divine. The first thing I thought when I saw the shoes was “Prada.” Maybe Manolo, the omniscient shoe authority, could elucidate us on Martha’s shoes. As far as the derriere-challenge, I wish I could look that good when I become menopausal, but no chance of that since I am height-challenged. You go Martha, knock them dead (once again…)

  23. tjasta September 6, 2005 at 11:09 am #

    I love Martha too. Smart women make the masses tremble from time to time.