Manolo says, even during the practice sessions, this disaster known as the Eurovision lays waste to the very essence of European culture, taking the grand and dignified traditions of the Continent and reducing them to…

…breathy Belgian vixens suggestively acting out scenes of proto-freudian lust…

…Deutscher Cowboys yodelling Wagner’s Grand Ole Oprys…

…Poles paying tribute to their national hero Wladziu Valentino Liberace!

One shudders to think what horrors await us in the coming days.