The Pop Apocalypse, Part One

Manolo says, even during the practice sessions, this disaster known as the Eurovision lays waste to the very essence of European culture, taking the grand and dignified traditions of the Continent and reducing them to…

…breathy Belgian vixens suggestively acting out scenes of proto-freudian lust…

…Deutscher Cowboys yodelling Wagner’s Grand Ole Oprys…

…Poles paying tribute to their national hero Wladziu Valentino Liberace!

One shudders to think what horrors await us in the coming days.

21 Responses to “The Pop Apocalypse, Part One”

  1. shiloh May 16, 2006 at 10:00 pm #

    hmmmmmmm. Perhaps the Eurovision is a contest of the one upmanship – which country can be most outrageous.

    But they did give the world ABBA!

  2. Sarah from Israel May 17, 2006 at 12:32 am #

    Sarah from Israel wishes to know, when are the Israelis performing? Are they destined to horrify the Manolo? I wait with bated breath.

  3. Sylvia May 17, 2006 at 3:25 am #

    … and I am looking very much forward to it! It’s like a car crash, where one simply can’t take one’s eyes away from it! *g*

  4. Gringo May 17, 2006 at 5:07 am #

    Shiloh,

    they did also give the world Celine Dion. Nuff said :)

  5. Anonymous May 17, 2006 at 5:11 am #

    Sarah,
    Israel performs a generic american soul song on Saturday. Reports have not been favourable about Israel’s chances this year. It’s not horrible, but it’s not interesting either.

    And the Polish people…my lord; that man in the green hair takes himself very seriously, doesn’t he. That can’t be a good sign :)

  6. shiloh May 17, 2006 at 5:35 am #

    i did not know, gringo. but is not the celine dion canadian? how can she be in the eurovision if she is not from the euro lands?

    but if she did, then i will close my eyes, turn up the volume on the ABBA, sing along and try to forget ms dion.

  7. Gringo May 17, 2006 at 5:50 am #

    Shiloh,
    Switzerland hired her to win it for them in 1988. “Ne partez pas sans moi”. It wasn’t until after the ESC win she became famous. She didn’t even speak English back then.

    http://www.keithm.utvinternet.com/Winners.htm

    Scroll down to 1988 and you can see the whole spectacle, before the stylists got to her :)

  8. Elizabeth May 17, 2006 at 11:36 am #

    Oh i do hope we get nuls points again.

  9. Norma Desmond May 17, 2006 at 1:01 pm #

    Switzerland hired her to win it for them in 1988.

    She was a ringer?

  10. La Retrosessuale May 17, 2006 at 7:33 pm #

    Haha! Wagner’s Grand Ole Oprys!!

    I bet next year we can tune in to Hindemith’s Miestersinger rendered as the Scheisstersinger.

  11. La Retrosessuale May 17, 2006 at 7:34 pm #

    Haha! Wagner’s Grand Ole Oprys!!

    I bet next year we can tune in to Hindemith’s Miestersinger rendered as the Scheisstersinger.

  12. BeckyJ May 17, 2006 at 8:07 pm #

    Ahhh, spring! When flowers bloom and Eurovision pops eardrums and frightens the horses!

  13. desertwind May 18, 2006 at 3:12 am #

    I like her pink pajamas!

    Manolo, here’s some guys live-blogging straight from Athens!!!!

    Ayyyyy! They think Finland’s got a chance!

    http://akoe06.livejournal.com/

  14. Jessica May 18, 2006 at 11:01 am #

    Viva Lordi!

  15. la petite chou chou May 18, 2006 at 1:43 pm #

    Morbid curiosity? That’s what draws people to this crap?

  16. Eric Blair May 18, 2006 at 6:25 pm #

    I cannot wait for the Finnish Death-Metal rockers. On the BBC, they had an online poll on who should win and those guys had like 80% of the votes. Heh.

  17. Don S May 18, 2006 at 7:12 pm #

    “Deutscher Cowboys yodelling Wagner’s Grand Ole Oprys…”

    First prize – a week in Nashville. Second prize – 2 weeks in Nashville. Third prize – a month in Branson…..

  18. Mitch May 18, 2006 at 10:53 pm #

    Even the Manolo must admit that compared to the pop travesties of Eurovision and Wherever Idol, punk rock makes lots of sense. Rejection of style (or alternative style of Perfecto jackets, jeans with holes honestly acquired, and the superfantastic Chucks that feel like your favorite slippers before they disintegrate) is one thing, but does that Polish fellow really think it is time for a revival of the cuirass? It is one thing to say “yes” to style; it is another thing to say “no”; but these are people who say “huh?” It is almost enough to make me insist that my barber give me a Mohawk.

    Where is the irony? Where is the self-awareness? Where is the sense of personal style? What key is this stupid song in, and who thought it was a good idea to make me sing it? These are questions demanding answers.

  19. miss tango May 19, 2006 at 9:31 pm #

    My eyes are burning!

  20. ushie May 20, 2006 at 2:31 pm #

    Heck, I thought the guy in the third picture was John Galliano!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks:

  1. Ed Driscoll.com - May 16, 2006

    Popoclypse Now

    Staring at the postmodern continental horror that is the Eurovision Song Contest, Manolo has just witnessed the end of the world as we know it, but he feels fine….