Archive - August, 2006

Trash is as Trash Does

Manolo says, the Evil One speaks of the Project Runway.

From leading ladies to supermodels, designer Karl Lagerfeld has dressed them all. Now, however, the world famous couturier is revealing what he thinks about some of the biggest names in the industry.

[…]

As for German supermodel Heidi Klum’s “Project Runway”, well that he just labels as trash.

“Trash that is funny for five minutes if you’re with other people,” ….

…who are most likely your toadies, henchmen, and lickspittles.

Project Runway 3, Week 8

Manolo says, Paris and the Project Runway? C’est Magnifique!

Jetsetters?

Ayyyy! Let the Manolo be the first to say that this is not the possee that the Manolo would want to take with him to the Ibiza. The Manolo usually associates with the better class of drama queens, airheads, recovering junkies, and befuddled old men.

But, one must “make it work” and so this motley crew went at their appointed task with the vengeance, producing the outfits that were mostly fit for wearing to the Salvation Army, where they could then be exchanged for something more stylish and au courant.

For the example, the Ulli was ready to jet set it out the back door and onto the Magic Bus for the mystical journey to the Humboldt County with the Manson Family. Very 2006, that.

And at this point the Manolo thought…One. Trick. My. Pretty. Psychedelic. Pony.

Then there was the “costume” produced by the Kayne, the costume which the Tim described as “too much Elvis”.

To which the Manolo immediately replied, there is no such things as the too much Elvis. It is impossible to have too much Elvis!

In the fact, the Manolo is of the opinion that the world needs more of the Elvis. Fat Elvis, Thin Elvis, Young Elvis, Old Elvis, Elvis giving away the pink Cadillacs to the strangers, Elvis treating his friends to the fried peanut butter, bacon, and banana sandwiches, Elvis spreading joy like glitter everywhere he goes!

Yes, we now mock the Elvis for his fashion choices, but we forget that Elvis was always of the moment, and that even when he appeared in the be-rhinestoned jumpsuits he was representing the pure and distilled essence of the 1970s show business.

The problem with the outfit of the Kayne was indeed not too much of the Elvis, it was too much cheap Elvis.

Of the course, the worst of the worst was the outfit produced by the Angela, who combined so many awful elements that the Manolo fully expected the very Earth to open up, rent asunder by the rift in the space-time continuum caused by the concentration of too much crap, and swallow her down to Hell.

Sadly, we who were offended had to be satisfied with the Angela being sent away, although not as one would have hoped covered in the tar and feathers.

Laura produced something that looked good, although not something the Manolo would have thought was for the travelling. And the Vincent made the outfit that the Manolo himself would have worn, but only if it were correctly tailored and the jersey made from the triple cashmere.

And when the Michael Kors criticized this outfit for being too basic and boring, the Manolo thought that undoubtedly the Kors believed it could have been greatly enlivened with the addition of the basic black blazer, which could never be removed, and which would also look good on one’s mother.

As for the winner, Jeffrey, the Manolo asks you, did we not see this very outfit on the Mick Jagger in the year 1990? Although, the Manolo doubts that the Mick would have been so silly as to have called conspicuous attention to the lack of bulge in his crotch.

Again, it was the Michael who impressed the Manolo most. Not because it was to his exact taste, but because he took something the Manolo despises–the baggy goth parachute pants with the superfluous external straps– and made them into something the Manolo can almost tolerate, simply by making them out of the seersucker. This was the most amusing and impressive display of wit, and it worked.

Egghead

Manolo says, ayyyyyy! Cock-a-doodle-don’t!

Help the Hoff

Manolo says, the magnificent Hasselhoff he is looking for the new chick!

Former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff is refusing to allow his recent divorce get him down – he already has plans to find a new “chick”.

Hasselhoff divorced from his wife of 16 years, Pamela Bach, last month.

But now the 54-year-old is searching for his ideal partner, and she must be clever.

He says, “I’m coming to England in September and I want to find myself a beautiful girlfriend. But I don’t want some dumb blonde. I’d like a woman who’s really intelligent.

“I saw this girl recently who must have stepped out of the office during her lunch break and was wearing work clothes and glasses, and I thought to myself, ‘That’s what I want, a chick who’s career-orientated.'”

Clever? Career oriented?

The Manolo has the suggestion….

Future Mrs. Hoff?

Perhaps the Manolo’s many readers can leave the better suggestions for the future Mrs. Hasselhoff in the comments below.

Extreme Makeover, Photoshop Edition

Manolo says, the peoples at the Media Bistro have discovered the disturbing example of how good looking is not good enough.

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This it is ridiculousness itself!

The problem with the Katie, it is not that she is physically unattractive, indeed she is perfectly attractive. Rather the problem with the Katie it is that she seems to have the unattractive personality.

(via the Pundit of Instantness.)

Looking for the Fans

Manolo says, occasionally, the Manolo he receives the requests from the entertainment peoples who are in need of the help. Here is one such request.

Looking for Sex & the City fans for new TV show.

My name is Jennifer and I’m working on a brand new television series about fans of TV shows. I’m looking to get in touch with Sex & the City fans, and I’ve asked Manolo to post this message to help me get in touch with big fans of the show. Sex & the City was a relevant and liberating program that reflected the views and attitudes of a generation, so of course everyone is a fan… but we’re only looking for the biggest fans. Are you a fabulous fashionista or a shoeaholic inspired by the series, are you a downtown single gal influenced by Carrie & co, do you use the show as your dating bible, how has the show influenced you? We want to hear from you.

Here’s a little more about our show:

It’s a 26 part documentary series which explores popular TV shows through the eyes of the fans. Each episode will focus on a different program – everything from Bewitched to The Simpsons, and of course Sex & the City – and will feature 2-3 fans of the program from Canada and the US. The series will unearth: why the fans love the show, how watching the show makes them feel, what their friends and family think of their love for the show, and the culture of their particular fandom (individual shows express their fandom differently – look at Sex & the City fans compared to Star Trek fans).

The show will air in Canada on TVtropolis, a new Canadian Network devoted to airing re-runs of classic TV shows. More information about our series can be found at our our company’s website at http://www.peacepoint.tv/pr/ABOUTFANatical.pdf

Come on ladies, let our voices be heard! If you’re interested in participating or may be able to offer assistance please drop me a line at jennifer@peacepoint.tv

I look forward to your reply,
Jennifer

If you are the truly devoted fan, perhaps you would like to help the Jennifer.

The Awards of the Emmys

Manolo says, each year the Manolo he has roughly the same reaction to the Emmys, “who are these peoples?”

The Manolo he does not watch much of the popular televsion, not because he is one of those annoying holier-than-you peoples who scorn the popular entertainment, but for the opposite reason, because he loves the television too much. And thus, the Manolo must forgo the television watching, lest it becomes all he does, every day.

The result it is that the Manolo knows few of the peoples who each year attend the Emmys, to accept the awards for the shows he never watches, shows such as “Everybody Loves the Tall Guy and His Sassy/Difficult Family”, “Two Has-Beens and Their Man Child”, “Dead Body Poking” and the popular off-spin, “Dead Body Poking: Miami” the latter of which, the Manolo knows, stars the Master Thespian, David Caruso.

But, despite this ignorance, the Manolo feels still the obligation to his many internet friends to make the brief comments about the Emmys and those who attended them.

Here for the example, is the prime specimen of the species homo televisionius, the rare domesticated creature who is unable to flourish in the wild, but is paraded ceremonially on these occasions.

Clearly back on the hooch.

Look, it is the Botox Angels!

Speaking of the plastic surgery and its victims.

You should hope you look this good at 80!

Ayyyyy! It is the Hilton Sisters, Paleface and Bronzer.

Monday Morning Sale Boots

Aquila by Caligarius    Manolo Likes!  Click!

Manolo says, here are the pair of the very smart, very sexy boots from the Caligarius. Exactly the thing to liven up the office on the Monday morning.

And best of all they are 55% off of the regular price, the savings of over $300 of the American dollars!

Manolo at the Politics Central

Manolo says, the Manolo he has been asked by his internet friends at the Politics Central they have asked him to contribute the pieces to their site.

Here, then, is the first of the Manolo’s efforts.

Manolo says, the Manolo writing at the Politics Central? Ayyyyyyyy! The Manolo has the politics? Who could suspect such the thing! He seemed so nice!

Do not worry, the Manolo he has become neither the right winged nut, nor the leftist bat of the moon, and indeed his legendary indifference to the normal flow of the politics it has remained unshaken.

Or, rather, perhaps it is better to say, that his personal politics, which may best be described as the Politics of the Super Fantastic, they have remained unchanged.

In the stead, the Manolo’s friends at the Politics Central they have asked the Manolo to regularly comment upon the intersection of the fashion and the politics, not expound upon his own peculiar political beliefs.

To read the rest of the artcle click here.

Manolo the Columnist

Manolo says, here is the latest of the Manolo’s columns for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I am a happily married mother of three, and I’m finding that as my 35th birthday approaches, I am craving some really nice red shoes. OK, “nice” isn’t the word. More like “hot”! Can you recommend some red heels, not over 3 ½ inches that are super fantastic but not too “young”?

Cahdi

Manolo says, ayyyyyy! What better way to celebrate the birthday than with the new pair of the shoes!

Of the course, as the Manolo’s friend Cahdi has indicated, the “hot” shoes desired by the soon-to-be 35-year-old woman are not usually the same as the “hot” shoes desired by the 18-year-old woman.

One would worry about the 35-year-old mother of the three who would wear the shiny plastic red shoes with the five inch heels more suitable for the dancer of the pole.

Yes, most ordinary men, who are bedazzled by the shiny bright objects, are not so subtle as to notice the difference. But as we know, the truly “hot” shoes not only attract the admiring gaze but also please the wearer, giving to her the confidence and feeling of sexiness that most worthy men find fully alluring.

Thus the Manolo would recommend to his friend this shoe, the Catchy by the Charles David as being hot. It has the ankle strap, and the ankles straps they are always sexy.
Catchy by Charles David    Manolo Likes!  Click!

Say No to the Drew Barrymore!

Manolo says, ayyyyyyyy! And after all the Manolo has done to warn the nation of the dangers of both the poncho and the Uggs.

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friend the Travelling Librarian for the tip.

Project Runway 3, Week 7

Manolo says, this episode of the Project Runway, it had it all: the anger, the tears, the ladies of the certain size, the Micheal Kors and the mother of the Michael Kors in the Mommy-and-Me outfits!

Ayyyyyyyy! Such fun!

First, allow the Manolo to say, adieu, sweet Barbie Prince Bob. Yes, everything you made looked as if it was something you had just purchased down at the Ross Dress for Less, but you were still the nice guy and you had the big gym-made biceps.

Second, allow the Manolo to congratulate the crazy Vincent for designing what was the superior outfit of the evening. Even the better, Vincent turned out to be the mensch, the person who knew when it was appropriate to apologize and was not afraid to tell someone so. Yes, he is wound three turns too tight, but he is not the bad person.

Speaking of the bad person, the Manolo cannot help but think that the Jeffrey must have been the much more pleasant person as the junkie. Indeed, slumped against the wall in the heroin stupor would be infinately superior to the rude, angry, aggressive, petulant child he is sober.

And here the Manolo he is risking much scorn and anger from the recovering-addict-American community, but what can he do, there are those people who would simply be better company stoned.

The Jeffrey he does have the sympathy of the Manolo, as he is undoubtedly tormented in ways we cannot know, but this it is not the excuse for being abusive to someone’s mama.

As for the rest of this episode, the Manolo loved the mothers, this was the wonderful, stupdenous idea from the producers. Here, the Manolo thought, was the chance for these aspiring designers to dress the real, everyday woman in all of her glory. Brilliant!

There are few things that test the true ability of the designer than having to dress the woman who is not the skinny teenager with the protruding hip bones and the stick legs. Just ask Alison from the last week’s challenge.

The Manolo thought that the outfits produced by Michael and Uli were quite good, and that the Kayne did much better than the judges gave him credit for. Laura’s outfit made the Manolo think of something the executive secretary of the certain age would wear to the office, definitely not something to be worn on the cruise. As for the Jeffrey’s and Angela’s…ayyyyyyyy! Only in the mind of the Angela could the shaky-shaky fringe = Audrey Hepburn.

Finally, the Manolo loves, loves, loves the Joan Kors.

This woman she needs her own show on the Bravo Network: The Joan Kors Koffee Klatch. Just Joan sitting around drinking the coffee, chain smoking the Lucky Strikes, discussing whatever happens to be in her mind at that moment with whatever guest happens to drop by. The Manolo would definitely watch that.

P.S. The super fantastic Laura K. of the super fantastic Blogging the Project Runway, reminds the Manolo that this latest challenge, like at least two of the previous challenges, was first suggested and discussed by the very canny readers of the Blogging the Project Runway, long before the producers ever “thought” of them.

For the past several months the Manolo has considered the Blogging the Project Runway to be the single most important resource on the internets for the Project Runway television show, indeed, it is far more important and informative than the filled with fluff and nonsense website of the Bravo. (The Manolo only goes to the Bravo site to hear the Tim Gunn’s podcasts.)

If you love the Project Runway you should be reading the Blogging the Project Runway.

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