Help the Hoff

By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo says, the magnificent Hasselhoff he is looking for the new chick!

Former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff is refusing to allow his recent divorce get him down – he already has plans to find a new “chick”.

Hasselhoff divorced from his wife of 16 years, Pamela Bach, last month.

But now the 54-year-old is searching for his ideal partner, and she must be clever.

He says, “I’m coming to England in September and I want to find myself a beautiful girlfriend. But I don’t want some dumb blonde. I’d like a woman who’s really intelligent.

“I saw this girl recently who must have stepped out of the office during her lunch break and was wearing work clothes and glasses, and I thought to myself, ‘That’s what I want, a chick who’s career-orientated.'”

Clever? Career oriented?

The Manolo has the suggestion….

Future Mrs. Hoff?

Perhaps the Manolo’s many readers can leave the better suggestions for the future Mrs. Hasselhoff in the comments below.


22 Responses to “Help the Hoff”

  1. Chelsea Says:

    Theresa Russell?

  2. Eric3000 Says:

    What the Hoff wants is a woman who LOOKS intelligent. All this takes is the pair of glasses and the putting of the hair up in the bun. Even the Tara Reid can pull this off.

  3. Despina Says:

    I smell a reality show!!!

  4. Miss Janey Says:

    The Hoff needs someone who’s an all ‘round entertainer like himself- someone who acts, sings, even shimmies a little. Someone slightly younger, cuz men need that. I nominate Cher. She’s definitely clever, and career-oriented and understands the vagaries of a life in show biz.

    Now if he’s seeking to meet someone across the pond… How ‘bout Sarah Ferguson?

  5. Sarah in Israel Says:

    The Hoff seeks a paradox.

    A clever woman would not date a man who has been divorced for only one month.

  6. Victor Says:

    Heidi Fleiss. She started and ran her own business, which should qualify her as “career oriented.”

  7. furlagirl Says:

    off topic

    and in 2001, two Jordanian soldiers were evacuated home with injured penises after attempting sexual intercourse with goats.

  8. Scott Says:

    Funny you should ask instead of scrolling down to the previous blog entry. Why not match the magnificent Hasselhof with the miraculously svelte Katie Couric? Clearly she’s a career oriented woman with a certain amount of cleverness. Maybe whoever dropped the extra pounds with help of photoshop could add work clothes and a pair of bookish glasses. No doubt she’d make a lovely addition/prop to one of his world famous music videos.

  9. AJ Says:

    But what girl could resist this?

  10. Jen Says:


    Who would date hoff?


  11. raincoaster Says:

    Lucy Gao. The girl’s got a built-in publicity machine, and she’s about to appear on Spanish Big Brother, despite apparently not speaking any Spanish. Wouldn’t it be nice if two Internet legends got together?

  12. eowyn_2 Says:

    Hoff wants a clever woman? Clever women don’t appreciate being called “chick”. They also know about waxing. And they aren’t impressed by a lush. I think his search will be fruitless.

  13. rubyg Says:

    eowyn just expressed what i thought after reading your entry. exactly, no clever/intelligent woman would appreciate being called “chick”!

    mr. hoff, do wake up!

  14. Chris Says:

    There are other ways to help The Hoff. Go to and commit to helping The Hoff reach the #1 spot on the UK charts.

  15. Mondrianyone Says:

    Condoleezza Rice. Because the world needs at least one person named “Condoleezza Hasselhoff.” But just one.

  16. xoconostle Says:

    Is Sylvester Stallone’s mama still available? They could wear bad headbands and obvious bronzing foam together while jogging to the Pacific Pallisades Botox clinic.

  17. Chairman of the Bored Says:

    I have recently found out that David Hasselhoff is the King of Das Germans. I am still trying to corroborate that allegation.
    As for finding a chick, why not wear the egghead hat shown above?
    If that doesnt work, perhaps he can receive the gratification he so richly deserves by placing the following at select locations:

  18. toad Says:

    Hmmm, a corrolary on the Groucho Marx paradox, ” I wouldn’t join a club that would have me.”
    Sharon Stone, she’s free.

  19. Cathy Says:

    Perhaps, if he wants an intelligent woman, he should stop referring to women as “chicks.”

  20. Miachelle Says:

    Cathy beat me to it. That was my thought. Step one, David. Women are not chicks. Chicks come from chickens. Nowhere else.

  21. splendidcakes Says:

    The answer is obvious, Velma from Scooby-Doo!!

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