Project Runway 3, Week 9

Manolo says, the Couture Challenge? In two days? This it is not the couture. You cannot do the couture in two days! And, most assuredly of everything, you cannot do the couture without the old French ladies.

Where, the Manolo asks, are the old French ladies?

You have to have the old French ladies to do the tiny-little-stitch sewing, and the fancy beading, and the ruching, and everything that is delicate and expensive and good about the couture. Without the old French ladies you have nothing, just clothes.

But, the producers have gone to the trouble of flying to the Paris to do the show, and so the facsimilie of the couture it must be produced by the designers.

And the winner, and deservedly so, was the odious Jeffrey, who does seem to have the talent. His crazy yellow plaid dress was the most innovative and entertaining and alive of all of the garments on the runway. It actually looked good.

Although, to wear this would require the clean underwear, as this garment it was cut all the way up to the girl’s hoochie coochie. The Ooo La La, indeed!

As for the rest…meh, meh, meh.

The Ulli did what the Ulli always does, which is to first imagine that she is designing the gown for herself and work from there. And the result it was the Ulli thing, only with the better fabric and the more refined stitching. Yes, she has her own vision, but frankly the Manolo he is tired of it. Flowy, flowy, loosey-goosey, hippy-dippy, brady-drapy and meh! Take it away!

The Laura, she did what the Laura always does, which is to first imagine that she is designing the gown for herself and work from there. And the result it was the Laura thing, with the black and the plunging, sternum-displying front and the good silhouette that looks like something we have seen in the past. As for the lace…meh! Take it away!

The Kayne did what the Kayne always does, which is to first imagine that he is designing the gown for himself and work from there. And the result was the Kayne thing. The skirt it was so beautiful and the color perfect, but the bodice was the wreck of the train, with the pieces flying everywhere and the stripes and the corset lacing and the gold mesh and the hundred-piece marching bands and the baton twirlers worked into it….meh! Take it away!

The Michael….the Manolo’s beloved Michael, who rarely misses the mark….The Manolo he had to avert his eyes from this disaster. Take it away!

And finally, bringing up the back, was the Vincent who produced something one would be ashamed to see come out of the junior high school home economics class. Yes, it had the nice fabric, but it was terrible, badly cut, badly made. Meh! Take him away!

And they did.