From the Archives of the Manolo: The Holiday Sweater

Manolo says, as the leafs change the color and the days turn cooler, many of the Manolo’s internet friends may feel the need to don the sweater. However, last year, the Manolo had the few words of advice for his friends, words which remain pertinent today.

******From the Archives of the Manolo******

Manolo says, yes, it is true, the Manolo he has been reading and very much enjoying the blog of the Harriet Miers!!! She is obviously the delightful person, one who could easily be confirmed to join the Posse Manolo on the shopping expedition, if not the Court of the Supremes.

However, the Manolo he only mentions the blog of the Harriet Miers in the passing, because today the Harriet she has brought this website of fashion atrocity to the attention of the Manolo. (This page of the fashion atrocity website, it almost sent the Manolo into the convulsions, as if he were the small Japanese child watching the frenetic episode of the Pokemon.)

Trust the Manolo, the heavily beaded and be-rhinestoned “gem sweater” it is not the look you wish to adopt. And here, because we are approaching the season of the holidays, the subject of the sweaters it deserves the special discussion.

Manolo says, the truly super fantastic girl, she does not wear the holiday sweater. (Nor does the truly super fantastic man.)

See! Even the Mr. Darcy of Your Dreams looks like the dork in the holiday sweater. Think then how much worse you would look in …the Turkey Sweater!

Notice the grimmacey What-the-Hell-I’m-Getting-Paid smile.

Or perhaps you would like to make your own darling child look like the fool with the Mother-Daughter Frosty Scene of Societal Entropy Matching Sweater Set.

This, it is clearly child abuse.

Finally, as the Holloween it is only weeks away, you might wish to don something like this, the “Holloween Friends Cardigan”.

Trust the Manolo, if you wear this and no one tries to stop you, you have no friends.

So, listen to the advice of the Manolo, and make this the season of joy by giving your holiday sweaters to the garbage man.

Comments

daleth 17 years ago

Ah, once again, the Manolo’s advice it is both timely and timeless.

Susanna 17 years ago

Sweet surfing Sufis, Manolo… I am positively apoplectic with laughter.

Some favorites?

The “Coca Racha” – (nee “Cucaracha?”)
The “Orange Peel Milk” (nee “Le Curdle Estomac”)
The “Spanish Menu” (nee “Estoy Vomitando”)
The “Sprinkle Specktacaler” (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/spectacular)

It’s all so fabulous… my eyes are dancing! The gold pants!

So much intricate handiwork! No time to feed the cats!

CharmingGeek 17 years ago

I don’t know…a lot of these, particularly the “Halloween Friends” could be very elementary school teachery. And the CharmingGeek, he loves the young, intelligent, and compassionate school teacher with the whimsical sweater.

Fausta 17 years ago

Alas, not even the superfantastic Colin of the Firth can make the ugly sweater of the holidays look good.

opie the jeanne 17 years ago

I clicked on the website of fashion atrocity and cannot wait for the Coming Soon of the Grand Manson Gown… sweater. I wonder if it is worn by Charles or Marilyn.

TheEmpress 17 years ago

Please, Manolo, add the his n’ hers matching Nordic sweaters to your list of fashion atrocities. Where I live, couples show up for dinner parties wearing those most horrid of Norwegian knit items with the silver toggle closures. And, shudder, they are usually wearing those most ugly Dansko clogs, too….

beloml 17 years ago

But wouldn’t the Crocs in pumpkin orange match perfectly?

pbird 17 years ago

Unfortunately, even those of us who can knit very well do not all have good sense or taste.

Dani 17 years ago

“Societal entropy,” indeed!
Physics to clothing, Manolo has the wit.

Never teh Bride 17 years ago

Grandma sweaters, we called them growing up. Every now and again my relatives would send me a sweatshirt (not sweater) with a huge cartoon reindeer with a puffball nose or somesuch on it.

Emily 17 years ago

So ugly who wears these and why are they still being sold?

Sundancer 17 years ago

My mother is fond of the holiday sweater… she was rather insulted that I don’t find them as beautiful as she does!

e 17 years ago

I thought of that, but then the innocent (and already-fashion-challenged) garbage man has to suffer. Can’t we just burn them as an alternative fuel source?

Kimberly 17 years ago

I come from a very traditional family in the Deep South and holiday sweaters are BIG down there. VERY popular.

True story – Last year, my family went out for one pre-Christmas dinner with their church at a lovely old Victorian mansion that had been renovated into a luxe restaurant. At one point, I looked around and realized that I was the only female in the entire place over the age of 20 NOT wearing a holiday sweater! Ag!