Manolo says, two months ago, the Manolo announced that he no longer had any desire to ridicule the Britney Spears.

Lately, however, the Manolo has been sorely tempted to ridicule like the dickens, to ridicule as he has never ridiculed before, to ridicule like the wind.

But, the Manolo is the man of his word, and thus he shall restrain himself and attempt to make only the constructive criticisms.

First, from the most recent paparazzi photos, it is apparent to the Manolo that the Britney is groping for her own style, something which seems to involve the short-short skirts, the visible underwear, and the boots, lots and lots of the boots.

At the least she is trying. She wishes to be stylish but, sadly, she does not know how. She has tossed many trendy things together into the unslightly heap and then shouted “will it blend“.

The answer? No. It does not blend. It is still unsightly heap.

So, the Manolo must now prescribe the radical making over.

Britney Spears must, like the astronaut Steve Austin, be rebuilt from the ground up. Her closet must be emptied, her hats and shifts and frilly scanties must be burnt to ashes, and she must be guided by someone much smarter and more capable than she.

Who would this person be?

The Manolo the Shoeblogger, who else?

Of the course, the Manolo Plan for Personal Style is not the quickie fifteen minute daytime television make-over. It is something more akin to the arduous Kung Fu training, involving dedication, long hours of practice, and the seriousness of intent.

There would be books to be read, and movies to be watched, and lessons in elocution and deportment and how to sit like the lady…

Of the course, at this point, the Manolo would probably settle for getting her to regularly wear the underpants.