Britney with the Boots but No Style

Manolo says, two months ago, the Manolo announced that he no longer had any desire to ridicule the Britney Spears.

Lately, however, the Manolo has been sorely tempted to ridicule like the dickens, to ridicule as he has never ridiculed before, to ridicule like the wind.

But, the Manolo is the man of his word, and thus he shall restrain himself and attempt to make only the constructive criticisms.

britneyslouch.jpg britkneehigh.jpg

First, from the most recent paparazzi photos, it is apparent to the Manolo that the Britney is groping for her own style, something which seems to involve the short-short skirts, the visible underwear, and the boots, lots and lots of the boots.

At the least she is trying. She wishes to be stylish but, sadly, she does not know how. She has tossed many trendy things together into the unslightly heap and then shouted “will it blend“.

The answer? No. It does not blend. It is still unsightly heap.

So, the Manolo must now prescribe the radical making over.

Britney Spears must, like the astronaut Steve Austin, be rebuilt from the ground up. Her closet must be emptied, her hats and shifts and frilly scanties must be burnt to ashes, and she must be guided by someone much smarter and more capable than she.

Who would this person be?

The Manolo the Shoeblogger, who else?

Of the course, the Manolo Plan for Personal Style is not the quickie fifteen minute daytime television make-over. It is something more akin to the arduous Kung Fu training, involving dedication, long hours of practice, and the seriousness of intent.

There would be books to be read, and movies to be watched, and lessons in elocution and deportment and how to sit like the lady…

Of the course, at this point, the Manolo would probably settle for getting her to regularly wear the underpants.

21 Responses to “Britney with the Boots but No Style”

  1. blooes April 30, 2007 at 7:22 pm #

    Excuse me, how did u manage to make only the constructive criticisms?

    I mean, just look at her. Her outfit scared me.

  2. Fred the Fourth April 30, 2007 at 8:14 pm #

    This reader would be terribly saddened to believe that the Manolo was actually spending any brain cells on such nullities as Britney and Lagerfeld. Toss off the occasional bon mot in reaction to their latest silliness, OK, but please, life is too short to take them seriously.

  3. cris April 30, 2007 at 8:59 pm #

    Not so fast, Fred. Do you not appreciate the challenge? Bravo to the Manolo! Like the Hasselhoff, he braves the riptide of bad (or no) fashion to save the unfortunate from being swept away. After Britney, who knows? MaryKate and Ashley? Rosie? Well, maybe not Rosie. The Manolo is only human, after all.

  4. Tracy April 30, 2007 at 9:44 pm #

    Good for Britney for getting in shape again, but shame on her for tackily showing way too much of that shape.

  5. La Petite Acadienne April 30, 2007 at 10:00 pm #

    It is sad, really. She is the pretty girl and seems to be the sweet-natured girl as well. Her clothing choices only detract from how lovely she is. I think she is in a very confusing place right now, and wish that the Manolo could take her under his wing, protect her from those who would take advantage, and help her look and feel super-fabulous.

    Instead, she gets confused as to the function of her clothing. That “dress” is actually a sheer blouse. Worn with great jeans and a simple black cami underneath, it could work. But this…I have no idea what it is that she is trying to do.

  6. the unfashionista April 30, 2007 at 10:03 pm #

    Ah – so relieved that the Manolo prefers the Henry Higgins approach rather then the Finola Hughes approach to the makeover. For a makeover is more then just clothes and much of it cannot be learned in a day.

  7. Loves for the Men April 30, 2007 at 10:30 pm #

    But no one sees the clear debt owed to the icon Little Edie Beale? This is the best outfit for the day.

  8. sarah April 30, 2007 at 11:16 pm #

    Hi Manolo, love your blog and your dry humour. Keep up the good work :)

  9. redwards April 30, 2007 at 11:23 pm #

    oh, she is sort of horrifying, isn’t she…

  10. jessica May 1, 2007 at 3:08 am #

    Well, you have to give her credit for losing that extra weight finally…however she did it. She looks great (wigs nonwithstanding). I can’t blame the girl for wanting to show off her slimness after being ridiculed for so long for being chubby. She just….went a little too far with it.

  11. blooes May 1, 2007 at 7:16 am #

    A little too far? She went way too far with it.

  12. deja pseu May 1, 2007 at 8:55 am #

    Poor child looks as though she went sleepwalking in her favorite naughty nightie and somehow stopped before she went out the front door to throw on the glasses, wig, hat and gardening boots.

  13. memomachine May 1, 2007 at 9:36 am #

    Hmmmm.

    So. I’m the only one thinking she’s pretty hot in that getup eh?

    hehe. Just joking. :)

  14. LaVida2 May 1, 2007 at 10:27 am #

    You can take the girl out of the country, but you cant take the country out of the girl…..so sad.
    However, I am estatic that she is finally losing the baby weight, but I am sad that she chooses to wear a wig. Britney, embrace your inner Sinead O’Connor.

  15. Christie May 1, 2007 at 1:29 pm #

    Oh Manolo, if only we were all so lucky to have you offering your services! I truly wish there were a way to get her to take you up on your generosity. I truly feel for the girl…that she has good intentions, but just doesn’t know any better.

    And unfortunately, this mish-mosh style is being emulated and worn by other young women. I was at a concert in Palm Springs this weekend and in 100 degree heat there were many, many girls sporting this tired look. It’s a sad, sad day.

  16. blooes May 1, 2007 at 7:50 pm #

    So, Christie, fashion hurts?

  17. Rachel May 1, 2007 at 9:08 pm #

    I’d kill for a belly like that, but I’d never show it off like that.

    Note: I’d kill for it, but I won’t actually exercise for it. Not when there are so many offerings from LU and Pepperidge Farm.

  18. verna May 2, 2007 at 9:50 pm #

    lavida2 said it… britney is a little country girl who has never really gotten past that. she is so young, perhaps she’ll have an epiphany. soon,we hope.

  19. Lady DunBraidh May 4, 2007 at 10:12 pm #

    While the Britney is truly trashtastic and in the desperate need of the help, no one has mentioned the “Will it blend” link from our dear Manolo! Very, very silly!

  20. Zonia Wiszynski August 15, 2010 at 7:24 pm #

    Hi britney carry on your good attitude….i really love you being your fan….

  21. Lester Minarcik August 17, 2010 at 8:13 am #

    Britney I am your biggest fan from The UK,you are my idol,when I grow up I want to be like you.