The Maestro Honored!

Manolo says, our leader in all things super fantastic, his holiness, the Maestro Manolo Blahnik has been honored by the Queen!

HE has been worshipped by the glitterati for his unashamedly beautiful designs for years and now Manolo Blahnik has received the ultimate accolate: being made an honorary CBE, or Commander of the British Empire.

The Spanish-born, London-based shoe designer has received the award “in recognition of his status as one of the most successful and influential designers of our time”. Culture Secretary James Purnell, who presented the honour, commented: “Manolo Blahnik is one of only a handful of designers whose name is synonymous with their product. His avant garde designs mixed with timeless classics ensure that women all over the world are desperate to get their hands on a pair of Manolos. By basing his business in London, Mr Blahnik has played a huge part in enhancing the reputation of the capital as a leading fashion industry centre.”

And Manolo himself couldn’t be more thrilled with his new title.

“It is the greatest privilege to have been appointed by Her Majesty the Queen to receive such an honour for my small contribution to the fashion industry in Britain,” the modest designer said. “I’ll always be proud and grateful for it.”

Ayyyy! The Maestro Manolo is now the Commander Maestro Manolo!

P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo’s friend Poochie the Shoe Lover for alerting him to this.

The Manolo Week in Review

Manolo says, here is the Manolosphere’s best of the week.

Mr. Henry…

In this Orwellian world, orderliness itself has become a luxury – not the “law and order” kind, mind you, in which law is bent to better impose order. No, Mr. Henry is speaking of the luxurious order of solitude at breakfast, a companion at lunch, and a family at dinner. Mr. Henry would like to place his order for more of this kind, if you please, and pronto.


Doesn’t she look absolutely beastly? I mean, it’s amazing she can even get out of bed. She probably has to wash herself with a dead cat on a stick and when she dies they’ll just have to cut the house away from around her and remove her bloated, Winnebago-sized corpse with that helicopter they use for sea mammal transportation.

Isidore Gallant

Never one do things by halves, every visible item Izzy wore, except for his socks, was corduroy: a brown medium-wale sportcoat, an indigo pin-wale shirt, blue and green medium-wale Converse All-Stars, and outrageously pink medium-wale trousers


While their children have struggled with romantic relationships, Phil and Jill remain constant and devoted. Not only that, they’re still played by the original actors.


Maaaan, he probably thinks she should walk home after swimming, too. Faint hope he gave her bus fare, eh?


And finally, the hunky Renaissance Man who will steal Barbie away from Ken forever with his studly duds and beautiful music.

Spirit Fingers…

Can’t…breathe…must…decide! Death or Travolta’s tongue?

Never teh Bride…

Anyhow, I don’t think I’d have the constitution necessary to survive a lingerie shower without dying from embarrassment.


Yeah, right, Geri. I have news for you: Even people with fast metabolisms and “skinny genes,” who stay thin with no effort, do not get toned with no effort. You are totally doing 1,000 crunches a day.

Marc by Marc Jacobs, Pink Vinyl Pumps

Pink Pumps from Marc by Marc Jacobs   Manolo Likes!  Click!

Manolo says, the Manolo loves these pink vinyl see-through pumps from the Marc by Marc Jacobs. Rarely has the Manolo ever recommended the vinyl shoes, but these are so delightful.

They are like pieces of pink confectionery –Cinderella’s glass slipper in spun sugar– to be gobbled up joyfully as if one were still the little girl.


Manolo the Columnist

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m going to have Thanksgiving dinner with my boyfriend at his ancestral home. In attendance will be his elderly mother and his teenaged daughters, whom I will be meeting for the first time. What would you recommend?


Manolo says, congratulations to the Manolo’s friend who has just passed the Going-Home-to-Meet-the-Family test! This man likes you!

And now it is time for the more difficult challenge, winning the approval from the family. Your boyfriend’s mother will be relatively easy to please. Dress modestly and praise her turkey, her son, and her house, not necessarily in that order.

As for meeting the daughters, such new relationships are always fraught with emotions, this is to say nothing of the natural contempt teenagers feel for anyone over the age of twenty-five.

However, the most important advice not to attempt to dress younger than your age. Nothing is more mockable than the middle-aged “hottie” wearing the mini-dress and belly-shirt, talking about how much she loves Zac Efron.

Much better is the expensive but stylish skirt, blouse, and jacket worn with super fantastic knee-high boots, boots that even the most jaded teenager cannot but admire, like these beautiful Oriana boots from Cole Haan.

Oriana by Cole Haan   Manolo Likes! Click!


Secrets of the Maestro Manolo Blahnik

Manolo says, Simon Doonan of Barney’s dishes the most intimate secrets of our beloved master, Manolo Blahnik.

MANOLO’S GHOST: Manolo has an 18th century house in the town of BATH England. The living room is haunted by the horrid ghost of an old dowager. The ghost is wearing dreadful shoes so Manolo refuses to acknowledge her presence
[…]Campari by Manolo Blahnik   The Manolo Adores!  Click!

MANOLO’S MAGICAL BIRTH: Manolo Blahnik hails from the Canary Islands. On the day his mother gave birth a canary with a deformed beak was twitter outside her window making a noise which sounded like MANOLO! MANOLO! Et voila!

MANOLO’S PHILOSOPHY: Manolo hates vulgarity or cheesiness of any kind with the exception of Mae West who he adores.

His birth was accompanied by omens!

What more does one need to say than this?


Project Runway 4, Episode One

Manolo says, Ayyyyyy! The Project Runway has returned!!

Mira! All of our old friends are back: the handsome and oh so smarty, Tim Gunn, charmingly goofy and teutonic Heidi, the wonderfully bitchy Michael Kors, and our favorite “frenemy”, fashion editor Nina Garcia.

Also present was special guest judge, Monique Lhuillier, who is beautiful, and has this marvelous sheen, as if she had been freshly rubbed with olive oil in preparation for broiling.

As for the contestants, the Manolo has just barely begun to sort them out: there’s the crazy ethnic girl, the weepy Hispanic guy, the bitchy young queen, the “oh-no-she-di-int” fierce black girl, the nice girl who no one notices, the intense Asian girl, the old chick, and every possible version of gay man in the canon of fabulosity. Oh, yes, and Fred Flintstone, too.

One thing the Manolo could not help but notice was the surprising number of ugly tattoos. The Manolo might, just barely, sort of, understand the impulse to get the tattoo (if you have been in the merchant marine or prison) but he cannot comprehend why people who are supposed to be obsessed with beauty would choose such ridiculously ugly images.

Yes, we know, Tattooed Person, you are the outrageous rebel who must express your rebellious nature through the medium of permanent self-mutilation…you and 45 million other Americans.

But whatever. Aspiring fashion designers are not often noted for their common sense.

And so with the introductions cut mercifully short, it was off to the races, literally, as the designers began the first challenge by running across Bryant Park like the Charge of the Light-in-the-Loafers Brigade, headed for tents containing mounds of colorful fabric from which to construct the garment that “best expresses their designerosity”, or some such.

And, the few hours later, it was goodbye sweet and gentle Simone, you had the banging eyebrows, but your dress sucked. Although, the Manolo must note, not as badly as the thing produced by Elisa, who is apparently the extra character left over from Being John Malkovich. Giant Marionettes?

At the end, it was also, hello Rami, who was the winner, and deservedly so, for he produced the most beautiful dress, using the simple fabric worked and draped into the classically fresh form. It bodes well for his future.

Of the all the contestants, the Manolo was most annoyed by the bitchy Christian, not so much by the personality, but with his asymmetrical, Chris-“Leave-Britney-Alone”-Crocker hair-do. Does no one realize that these sorts of haircuts make the head look lop-sided, as if you were trying to hide the unsightly head tumor. Perhaps he has lost his right ear in the fabric trimming accident.

As for his dress, it did not deserve the excessive praise it received. The top was straight out of Ladie’s Home Companion, circa 1896.

The Manolo must now go and watch the reruns of this episode and see if he can sort out the various contestants, and their corresponding desgins. Perhaps tomorrow he shall offer more the substantive critique of their work.

Here below, stolen from the Manolo’s friends at Blogging the Project Runway, are all of the designs from last night.

Project Runway Season Four, Episode One

Whose Shoes Wednesday…The Answer!

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

Manolo answers it is the Tom Jones!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s super fantastic friend Gracie, who was the first to correctly identify the one of the most difficult celebrities ever featured on the Whose Shoes Wednesday! Well done!


Siamese Swamp Couture

Manolo says, look what is shambling down the runways this year.

Build the Outfit #7, Update

Manolo says, there are already several entries in this week’s Build the Outfit Contest

Mercurypipe from Stuart Weitzman   Manolo Likes!  Click!

With theses sheos, this is the especially difficult challenge, but the Manolo knows that his internet friends are up for it. So, go now and build the outfit and submit it to the Manolo’s Super Fantastic Forums for judging. The top prize is $100 from Zappos!