The card-writing guy hit me like nails on a chalkboard from the moment he opened his mouth. A REAL That Guy wouldn’t make an announcement about the “depth of his feelings” or point out that he made the card by hand, like a first-grader waiting for a gold star. That card wasn’t about “the depth of his feelings for her,” it was about HER gushing and praising HIM for his thoughtfulness and sensitivity.

Both of these “That Guy”s come across as manipulative, demanding, and (BION) potential abusers or at least extremely toxic partners - the first one because his actions are calculated for the reaction that they’ll cause, and the second one because he requires so much validation.

I’d take a REAL That Guy over a diamond (or other gemstone - never did like diamonds) any day, but these guys are NOT “That Guy”s.

The commercials shoving gender stereotypes down our throats are gross, but they’re resorting to these because they’re desperate.

All that aside, BEST PR/ADVERTISING DEPT EVER! This is, in non-literal terms, the female answer to the Budweiser “Mr.” campaign. You know, the one where the super official announcer salutes Mr. Still Craps His Pants while the SNL-esque singer in the background “improvises”… and every guy ALWAYS laughs… even if it’s stupid. That’s how I feel about these. ‘Cause the first time I see them, I’m always like, Haha! Yeah! And then I think about them, and when I compare them to reality, they’re not so funny. But I have to say, I appreciate a commercial that tries to entertain me, and seems to work hard in doing so. They’re funding whatever lovely TV show I’m currently watching, so if they’re also doing their best to please me, who am I to say no? (Just like these “That Guy’s” in the commercials.)

It’s more of humorous ad appealing to guys slight inadequecy over trying to be considerate. Everyone seems to say the guys are too effeminent and the ad is putting thoughtful gifts down. I could see it being more about appeal to the guy that says to himself “That’s what girls think is the perfect man. I’d like to be spontaneously thoughtful and have the timing right, and come off romantic and sensitive and… yeah, I might not be able to pull that off.”

So they opt for the mass-produced trinket because, hey, they’re always told it’s the thought that counts and they were thinking about their significant other. (A bit of a punchline, it would seem.)

Personally, I’d take a guy that does a little of everything: little gifts, everyday considerations and favors, and the occassional ‘going beyond the call of duty’ romantic gesture.

The necklace as an option? I’d take either of the other guys.