Manolo says, the reunion shows, they are always so boring, with the tedious and contrived confrontations, the sad outtakes, and those lame “greatest hits” montages.
Tim: “Designers, Ms. Mamie Kerpslach of Abilene, Kansas writes in to ask if Nina Garcia is really the bitch she seems to be on the show. Well, Mamie, the producers have put together this montage of Nina, dressed head-to-toe in Chloé, biting the heads off of live sparrows to prove that it’s all an act.”
Please, spare the Manolo from such maudlin and sentimental, phony-baloney moments.
Better to get on with the cat fighting right away.
But last night even the brief hint that those sorest of sore losers, Victorya and Carmen, might jump ugly with the producers and other contestants, was not to be delivered upon, not even after Heidi taunted Victorya in that aggressive Germanic way that caused the French so much trouble in 1914.
Speaking of the Heidi, what is with the ridiculous bangs?
But back to the woeful lack of cat fighting. The Manolo still remembers last season’s reunion show when everyone cornered the sociopathic Jude-Law-look-alike Keith and forced him to hear of his many crimes. He tried to smile through this even as his eyes darted around the room looking for the knife, or the scissors, or something, anything, with which to cut someone.
That was the sort of thing that makes for good television, unrepentant evil punished. Sadly, this season has been lacking for the villains, as Carmen left too quickly, Victorya seems merely petulant and snooty, and Christian, while annoying, is sort of endearing in his own arrogant fashion elf way.
Manolo asks, ubi sunt the villains of yester-season?
As for the rest of the show, the Manolo does not remember much, other than that Chris and Rami could not keep their hands off of each other. The Manolo nearly dropped his kir royale when Rami made the googly eyes at Chris after announcing that they had grown “close” during the final weeks. Ayyyy! Get the room, you two.
Well, good for Chris and Rami, who seem like the nice people, although the Manolo, himself, he would have preferred to have the over-sized check for $10,000.