Manolo says, the Manolo does not approve.
The 5 1/2in creations by Briton Antonio Berardi can hardly be described as high heels, since they lack the most important part – a heel.
For the bargain price of £1,800, the wearer will get to totter around with all her weight balanced on a thickened platform sole.
Unsurprisingly, fashionistas are jostling to buy a pair.
Stars including Gwyneth Paltrow and Uma Thurman invested in a black patent version costing more than £1,100, shortly after they were unveiled in Berardi’s spring/summer collection in Paris.
And Victoria Beckham apparently has a snakeskin pair.
They are going on sale in Browns stores in London, where they have to be ordered up to five weeks in advance.
Lincolnshire-born Berardi, 39, said he was inspired by Latin American music and 1980s post-modernism, adding: “When you walk, it is almost on tiptoe. You look really dainty.”
Dainty, as if your feet were bound in infancy by Mandarins.