Manolo says, the Manolo commends to you these marvelous white and navy peep-toe pumps from the Dolce and the Gabbana. Are they not beautiful?

What’s that you say, “But Manolo, it is not yet the summer time. I cannot possibly wear the white shoes before the Day of Memorializing.”

Ha! The Manolo scoffs as such fashion timidity.

Are you not the confident, super fantastic, adult person, one who is fully capable of charting her own way in the world? Indeed, you are fashionable woman, hear you roar!

Do not worry what the petty arbiters of outmoded fashion standards say, this is the beautiful shoe, one that can be worn anytime the weather warms. Remember the Manolo’s motto: If the shoe looks good, wear it!

Manolo says, ayyyyyy! This was perhaps the most boring Awards of the Academy ever! All of the ladies were in red, all of the gentlemens in black, all of the Jon Stewarts in tedious.

But, fear not, dear friends, there is some small grist for our celebrity mill.

For the example…

Ms. Wilma Flintsone and her richly deserved award.

Vision of the future red carpet, circa 2035 AD, Mr. Tom Cruise and Ms. Katie Holmes.

Best Actor Nominee, Mr. Mole.

Finally, the Manolo has the suggestion for next year’s master of the ceremony, someone whose lively personality and ready wit would undoubtedly make for the ceremony one no one would ever forget…

Busey!

Manolo says, it is time again for the Academy Awards, and thus also time for the shoe designer Stuart Weitzman to unveil his annual Million Dollar Shoes, which this year will be worn to the ceremony by Diablo Cody.

The “Juno” writer, a former stripper, has been chosen to wear footwear designer Stuart Weitzman’s million-dollar shoes to the big event at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood.

The “Retro Rose” shoe features two Kwiat diamond roses, fixed to 1940s-style beige metallic T-strap high heels.

More than 1,800 Kwiat diamonds weighing 100 carats were used to make the roses and 400 of them have been incorporated into the design of the shoe, which is worth over $1 million.

Shoe mogul Weitzman has also created a ballerina flat with a similar diamond-like design, which Cody will change into after she walks the red carpet and kicks off her high heels.

This is the first time Weitzman has created a changeover pair of shoes with a matching design element for use at the Academy Awards.

The Manolo loves these shoes, they are glamorous and retro and pretty. Perfect for the stripper-turned-screenwriter Cody, who gives off that self-consciously quirky, tatooted, 1940s pin-up girl vibe that is common among the indie alt-rock crowd.

UPDATE: Ayyyy! Maybe Cody Diablo, er Diablo Cody, will wear the shoes, and maybe she won’t wear the shoes!

Manolo says, the reunion shows, they are always so boring, with the tedious and contrived confrontations, the sad outtakes, and those lame “greatest hits” montages.

Tim: “Designers, Ms. Mamie Kerpslach of Abilene, Kansas writes in to ask if Nina Garcia is really the bitch she seems to be on the show. Well, Mamie, the producers have put together this montage of Nina, dressed head-to-toe in Chloé, biting the heads off of live sparrows to prove that it’s all an act.”

Please, spare the Manolo from such maudlin and sentimental, phony-baloney moments.

Better to get on with the cat fighting right away.

But last night even the brief hint that those sorest of sore losers, Victorya and Carmen, might jump ugly with the producers and other contestants, was not to be delivered upon, not even after Heidi taunted Victorya in that aggressive Germanic way that caused the French so much trouble in 1914.

Speaking of the Heidi, what is with the ridiculous bangs?

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But back to the woeful lack of cat fighting. The Manolo still remembers last season’s reunion show when everyone cornered the sociopathic Jude-Law-look-alike Keith and forced him to hear of his many crimes. He tried to smile through this even as his eyes darted around the room looking for the knife, or the scissors, or something, anything, with which to cut someone.

That was the sort of thing that makes for good television, unrepentant evil punished. Sadly, this season has been lacking for the villains, as Carmen left too quickly, Victorya seems merely petulant and snooty, and Christian, while annoying, is sort of endearing in his own arrogant fashion elf way.

Manolo asks, ubi sunt the villains of yester-season?

As for the rest of the show, the Manolo does not remember much, other than that Chris and Rami could not keep their hands off of each other. The Manolo nearly dropped his kir royale when Rami made the googly eyes at Chris after announcing that they had grown “close” during the final weeks. Ayyyy! Get the room, you two.

Well, good for Chris and Rami, who seem like the nice people, although the Manolo, himself, he would have preferred to have the over-sized check for $10,000.

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I know how you feel about there being no season for white shoes, but what about suede? Can I wear a suede sandal year-round?

Gigi

Manolo says, suede in the morning, suede in the evening, suede in the summer time.

The Manolo loves the suede; it is one of his favorite materials for the less than formal shoes. Durable, tactile, frequently luxurious, often beautiful, this is suede at its best.

Yes, it is true, some peoples who live in the distant past of white gloves and pinkie-sticking-out tea parties believe that suede is suitable only for the fall and winter, that it is roughly the inverse of the white shoes, which supposedly may only be worn in the summer.

To these peoples the Manolo says, “if the shoe looks good, wear it.”

As for his friend’s question about the suitability of wearing the suede sandals around the year, the Manolo can only say, use your best judgment. If one lives in Miami or Los Angeles, it is fine, but if one resides in International Falls, Minnesota, you may wish to see if your health care coverage includes “fashion-inflicted frostbite” before leaving the house in mid-January.

Look, here are the gorgeous buff-colored suede sandals from Donna Karan.

Manolo says, here are the few links which may perhaps amuse…

The Official Beverly Feldman Blog!

Like most bad things, it began with a good idea.

Laskin is seeking $7 million from Crocs, who still refuses to put a warning label on their product, despite widespread reports of similar accidents.

Manolo says, this spring, the Manolo has decided that he (along with many of the major shoe designers) will be all about the beautiful, flowery, girly sandals.

Obviously, the Manolo’s friend Beverly Feldman has taken this message of blossoms and boughs to heart, for here is the Ondine, the super cute, super fantastic, kitten heel flowery sandal. It is wonderfully cheerful, no?

Manolo says, in December the Manolo posted the infamous That Guy or the Diamonds commercial, which elicited over one hundred comments from the Manolo’s internet friends.

And now, here are two more, of the that guy commercials.

So, dear readers of the Manolo, these guys or the diamonds?

For the Manolo, the dog grooming and the pedicure giving fall under the category of “best handled by professionals”, so the diamonds win. But there is also nothing as romantic, as personal, or as welcome as receiving the handwritten letter of love from one who adores you, certainly not diamonds and pedicures and clean dogs.

Manolo says, gaze upon these beautiful flowery sandals from the atelier of the Maestro Manolo Blahnik and contemplate the arrival of spring, which at this minute seems so very far away.