FEB
2008
15

Manolo the Columnist

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve just been hired to work at a firm that specializes in “green design”, and now I’m looking for a fabulous pair of shoes that won’t have my co-workers throwing red paint on me and denouncing me in office meetings.

Marta.

Manolo says, every revolution has its Jacobins, and while the Manolo is all in favor of taking care of the environment, he is more than the little suspicious of those committed fanatics who would crush our individuality under their free-range, all-natural, hemp and raffia jackboots.

If you were to listen to them and be as strict as possible, you would have to give up the made-from-animals leather, the made-from-oil plastics, the made-from-rainforest rubber, and the non-organically grown cotton and flax. All you would have to wear would be shoes made from reeds that you had gathered yourself from along the riverbanks near your cave.

But you do not look good in bulrushes and cattails, and so you begin to compromise, and next thing you know, you’re wearing thigh-high pirate boots fashioned by Chinese prisoners from the skins of pandas and civet cats.

There must be the happy medium, yes?

Look, here are the cute and eco-friendly Baldaci Ballerina flat from Timberland, made from the soft suede, environmentally raw materials, and recycled yarns.

Baldaci Ballerina Flat from Timberland    Manolo Likes!  Click!

FEB
2008
15

Hallelujah!

Manolo says, the Manolo’s lengthy and exhausting evangelical mission to the world is beginning to pay dividends.

Has the end of the road been reached for the cheap shoe? According to new research conducted by Mintel, over the next five years the number of pairs bought annually in the UK is expected to drop by 7 per cent.

Analysts believe women have wised up to the fact that cheap shoes are uncomfortable and liable to disintegrate at the first sight of a puddle.

So although they might buy fewer pairs, in future, they are likely to save up for more expensive shoes: one-third of women questioned said they now pay more.

Which is exactly the message the Manolo has been preaching to the masses for so many long and arduous years now; years during which the Manolo’s lone voice sounded in the desert, imploring those who would listen to eschew the shoes of cheapness in preference to the super fantastic shoes of quality and value.

And so, this is perhaps the most gratifying thing the Manolo has ever read.

FEB
2008
15

Project Runway 4, Episode Eleven

Manolo says, Once upon the time, there was the poor tailor who was in danger of having his head chopped off if he did not complete the fabulously fierce outfits for the evil queen,

and her court…

…jesters, Toothy Orange Bottom and Brunhilde Valkyrie.

The tailor worked for many days without sleep, cutting and sewing, sewing and cutting. But, as the deadline approached, there were as yet fifteen yards of organza to be worked into the designs he had chosen, and the unhappy but honest tailor became worried and began to despair.

Even his acquaintance, the wise wizard who lived down the block, could only offer platitudes.

“Make it work,” said the wizard most unhelpfully, as he left the tailors shop.

“Ayyyyy!” shouted the tailor, “I am doomed. The Queen will have my head!”

The tailor collapsed into his chair near the fire, put his head in his hands, and wept the bitter, bitter tears, knowing that all was lost. After many minutes of sobbing, he fell asleep, certain that the morning would bring his execution.

It was then, while the tailor was sleeping his uneasy sleep, that the most miraculous thing happened.

First, there was the faint sound of tiny bells, followed by the strong scent of Aqua Net and Elizabeth Taylor’s “White Diamonds”, and then, with the audible pop, the tiny little fashion elf appeared out of no where!

(more…)

Shoetube TV!

Manolo says, the Manolo has been eagerly awaiting the arrival of Shoetube TV, the new media venture that combines the shoe blogs with the professionally produced videos.

If you love the shoes, as the Manolo does, you will enjoy much that the Shoetube.tv has to offer.

Whose Shoes Wednesday…The Answer!

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

Manolo answers, it is the Diane Keaton!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s internet friend Sarah, who was the very first to guess the answer.

Miu Miu Dumb Dumb

Miu Miu Kitten Heel Flex Pump with Flower ...  Manolo Thinks is Dumb.

Manolo says, it is not often the Manolo forcefully decries something from the hand of his muse, Miuccia Prada, but this kitten-heel flex pump from Miu Miu is just such the item.

There is no other way to describe this, except, it is just dumb.

Yes, undoubtedly in the wonderfully original and byzantine mind of Miuccia Prada, there is some sort of conceptual-y, ironic-y, post-modern-y thing going on, but here, in the execution of this idea, there is only dumbness.

This shoe could only be worn by the grossest of congenitally ignorant attention seekers. (Insert name of Hollywood starlet here.) Otherwise it is simply unwearable, and indeed, it pains the Manolo to even gaze upon it.

What is perhaps the most troubling for the Manolo is that only last week, the Manolo was praising one of the most beautiful shoes he has ever seen, the truly sublime Prada Corallo Oro sandals.

How is it possible that the same person could be responsible for both items?

And now, the Manolo must go lay down in the darkened room, the cool compress upon his forehead.

FEB
2008
13

Whose Shoes Wednesday

Manolo asks, whose shoes?

What the Manolo Is…

Manolo says, it is Tuesday, time to see what the Manolo is…

Reading…

Listening to…

Watching…

Ayyyy! The dogs, they are so beautiful, and the shoes of the handlers, they are so hideous!

FEB
2008
12

Shoes for the Foot Disaster

Manolo says, one of the Manolo’ s internet friends has asked the Manolo the question.

Dear Manolo,

Please help! I’m beginning to think I’m on an impossible quest. I’m about to start a fabulous new job, and i just found out I have a cracked sesamoid bone in my foot. Which means I have to toss my entire collection of gorgeous stilettos and fun wedges, and start from scratch. According to my doctor, I must only wear flats with rigid soles. And, they must be wide, in order to avoid adding any additional pressure on the afflicted area. In fact, my doctor actually uttered to words “Buy ugly shoes.” To make things even more difficult, I’ve been on the job hunt for a while, and my bank account is showing the ill affects, so I can’t afford to spend much on these new shoes. I’m only 26, please save me from a lifetime of doctor-prescribed “ugly shoes!”

Thanks,
Becca

Your doctor has recommended that you purchase only the ugly shoes?

The Manolo shouts, QUACK!

Clearly, this “physician” is the peddler of snake oils and patent medicines, who needs to have both his gypsy wagon and his medical license confiscated. He has neglected the obvious and important medicinal benefits that accrue to those who wear beautiful shoes, chief among which are happiness, psychic well-being, and the sexier, sexual sex life.

Firstly, the Manolo recommends getting the second opinion, preferably from the doctor whose accreditation comes from somewhere other than the crazy old crone with the herbs, who lives in the shack in the haunted forest.

Second, the Manolo would tell you that there are many beautiful and interesting flats available to the young super fantastic girl with the feets problems.

For the example, here is the Borneo from Stuart Weitzman.

Borneo by Stuart Weitzman   Manolo Likes!  Click!Borneo by Stuart Weitzman   Manolo Likes!  Click!

Stuart Weitzman has many such flat shoes of quality and taste, perfect for the young woman who is building the professional wardrobe.

FEB
2008
11

Manolo Moda!

Manolo says, Ayyyyy! Spread the word, it is Manolo Moda!

FEB
2008
11

DSquared2 Sandal for the Monday

DSquared2 Evening Sandal    Manolo Likes!  Click!

Manolo says, it is again Monday, the most dreaded day of the week, when you return to your desk and face up to the fact that you are still in thrall to “The Man”, and his insidious instruments of oppression, foremost among which is the so-called “paycheck”.

Ah, but even as your labor belongs to AmFaRexCo, Inc. (formerly Consolidated Widgets, until the branding experts stepped in) your mind is your own, and is thus free to spin you away to the fancy ball at the glittering palace of the tall, sensitively hunky prince who lives only in your mind and on the pages of the less tawdry romance novels.

But what will you wear with the silk and satin frou-frou that the Fairy Godmother and her rodent minions conjured up out of curtains and thread-bare bed clothes?

How about these beautiful, simple, elegant sandals from DSquared2?

The Manolo Week in Review

Manolo says, here is the best from the Manolosphere in the previous week.

Glinda…

There’s an entire segment of parents who will not be happy with what I’m going to write next.

Spirit Fingers…

I’m incredibly concerned about celebrity stylist extraordinaire Rachel Zoe.

Mr. Henry…

What advice would you give to people who are looking to be happy? “For starters, learn how to cook.”

Twistie…

Yes, at long last we have a show dedicated to informing brides to be that their lives will be ruined if they don’t lose those extra five or ten pounds before they march down the aisle in their cookie-cutter-inspired strapless gowns.

Plumcake…

Oh I’m just so excited I could spit.

Never teh Bride…

This reminds me of those neon ice balls you could buy in 80s-era supermarkets so that your drink wouldn’t get watered down by your cooling mechanism.

Isidore Gallant…

Has Brad Pitt ever looked worse?

Raincoaster…

Stop me if you’ve heard this one. Actually, you might have: six million people have.