Manolo’s Shoe Blog

Manolo says, it is Tuesday, time to see what the Manolo is…

Reading…

Listening to…

Watching…

The Manolo found this Juno movie to be exceptionally annoying, more than the little manipulative, and yet also somewhat moving.

The worst and falsest part of this movie was the first ten minutes, in which the Office man pretended to be the sharp-tongued pharmacist who engaged in the witty banter about pregnancy tests with the precociously annoying Juno.

Note to the budding screenwriters: please, keep this sort of thing to yourself. The Manolo does not require more ironically ironic irony to be piled onto the heaping helping that various “hip” artists have attempted to serve him over the past decade.

Go away and come back with something authentic, something that fully takes advantage of the remarkable talents of the magnificent Jennifer Garner.

Manolo says, here are the two shoes that properly celebrate the Day of the Presidents.

Above is the Washington from Betsey Johnson, shown here in the color of the silver dollar George Washington threw across the Potomoc River.

This is the Lincoln from Stuart Weitzman, the shiny-penny-colored driving moccasin.

Manolo says, it is time again for the Monday Puzzle Corner. This week, Movie Presidents!

Manolo says, many of the Manolo’s internet friends have been writing to the Manolo to ask what he thinks of the new Knight Rider movie that is being shown on the television this night.

Yes, the magnificent Hasselhoff, one of the greatest actors of his generation, will be appearing in the cameo role, however the lead will be played by someone else, which is the travesty of all that is right and holy.

How can one have the Knight Rider movie without having Michael Knight and the original KITT? It is ridiculous. That is all the Manolo has to say, ridiculous.

Manolo says, here is the best of the previous week from the Manolosphere.

Spiritfingers…

From the moment her gentle but experienced hands clasped around his postmodern cool aura, Quentin knew he had found his longlife muse and partner.

Raincoaster…

That’s “cliff” to us landlubbers.

Mr. Henry…

Please, Barack, if it didn’t work for the Mahatma, will it work for you?

Twistie…

Before you can start making serious plans for your wedding, there’s one thing it’s smart to do: decide on the other person who will stand at the altar with you.

Glinda…

I quit my job shortly after having the Munchkin, and we’ve been living in Frugal City ever since.

Diable…

¿Y tú cuánto pagarías por una hora de a-Zoe-soría?

Plumcake…

I’ve just spent the past five minutes looking at the word “doily” and trying to figure out if it really is even a word.

Francesca…

On the other hand, there’s no denying that confidence, talent, and generosity of spirit go a long way, and that sometimes, the reasons people deny us what we want are not about our fat.

Diablesse…

La sociedad global y sus circunstancias típicas de doble moral y morbo secreto, encuentran un regocijo extremo en el alma sinvergüenza de los paparazzi.

Never teh Bride…

I’ve never really gotten the whole fish as pets thing.

Izzy…

Courtesy of Thom Browne comes this freakish nightmare…

Manolo says, ayyyy! It is the Mariah Carey New Album Pop Quiz!

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve just been hired to work at a firm that specializes in “green design”, and now I’m looking for a fabulous pair of shoes that won’t have my co-workers throwing red paint on me and denouncing me in office meetings.

Marta.

Manolo says, every revolution has its Jacobins, and while the Manolo is all in favor of taking care of the environment, he is more than the little suspicious of those committed fanatics who would crush our individuality under their free-range, all-natural, hemp and raffia jackboots.

If you were to listen to them and be as strict as possible, you would have to give up the made-from-animals leather, the made-from-oil plastics, the made-from-rainforest rubber, and the non-organically grown cotton and flax. All you would have to wear would be shoes made from reeds that you had gathered yourself from along the riverbanks near your cave.

But you do not look good in bulrushes and cattails, and so you begin to compromise, and next thing you know, you’re wearing thigh-high pirate boots fashioned by Chinese prisoners from the skins of pandas and civet cats.

There must be the happy medium, yes?

Look, here are the cute and eco-friendly Baldaci Ballerina flat from Timberland, made from the soft suede, environmentally raw materials, and recycled yarns.

Manolo says, the Manolo’s lengthy and exhausting evangelical mission to the world is beginning to pay dividends.

Has the end of the road been reached for the cheap shoe? According to new research conducted by Mintel, over the next five years the number of pairs bought annually in the UK is expected to drop by 7 per cent.

Analysts believe women have wised up to the fact that cheap shoes are uncomfortable and liable to disintegrate at the first sight of a puddle.

So although they might buy fewer pairs, in future, they are likely to save up for more expensive shoes: one-third of women questioned said they now pay more.

Which is exactly the message the Manolo has been preaching to the masses for so many long and arduous years now; years during which the Manolo’s lone voice sounded in the desert, imploring those who would listen to eschew the shoes of cheapness in preference to the super fantastic shoes of quality and value.

And so, this is perhaps the most gratifying thing the Manolo has ever read.

Manolo says, Once upon the time, there was the poor tailor who was in danger of having his head chopped off if he did not complete the fabulously fierce outfits for the evil queen,

and her court…

…jesters, Toothy Orange Bottom and Brunhilde Valkyrie.

The tailor worked for many days without sleep, cutting and sewing, sewing and cutting. But, as the deadline approached, there were as yet fifteen yards of organza to be worked into the designs he had chosen, and the unhappy but honest tailor became worried and began to despair.

Even his acquaintance, the wise wizard who lived down the block, could only offer platitudes.

“Make it work,” said the wizard most unhelpfully, as he left the tailors shop.

“Ayyyyy!” shouted the tailor, “I am doomed. The Queen will have my head!”

The tailor collapsed into his chair near the fire, put his head in his hands, and wept the bitter, bitter tears, knowing that all was lost. After many minutes of sobbing, he fell asleep, certain that the morning would bring his execution.

It was then, while the tailor was sleeping his uneasy sleep, that the most miraculous thing happened.

First, there was the faint sound of tiny bells, followed by the strong scent of Aqua Net and Elizabeth Taylor’s “White Diamonds”, and then, with the audible pop, the tiny little fashion elf appeared out of no where!

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