Manolo the Columnist

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’m in the market for some fun, flirty, feminine spring/summer shoes. The only problem is that I have hideous feet. They’re fine in anything with a closed or peep toe, but I feel that sandals show something better left covered up. What would you recommend?

Christine

Manolo says, how the Manolo sympathizes with his many friends who have unsightly feets. Truly it is the curse!

When the weather turns warm after many months of frigidity, your toes wish to run free, manumitted from the leathern prisons in which you have confined them these many months.

But if you have the ugly feets, this cannot happen, for fear that your toes will terrorize the townsfolk.

Yes, it is true, your toes have nothing but good intentions, they mean well, and are not harmful to others; they are just misunderstood. But that will not prevent shouting and angry villagers, armed with pitchforks and torches, from chasing your toes back into their dark hiding places!

Better to avoid this embarrassing scene and keep your monstrous shame safely hidden in closed-toed shoes in festive spring colors.

Look, here is the Rona from Donald J. Pliner, the bright pointy-toed mule that is perfect for wearing with the white cropped pants and the summer tan.

Rona from Donald J. Pliner   Manolo Likes! Click!

9 Responses to “Manolo the Columnist”

  1. Toby Wollin March 21, 2008 at 8:27 am #

    One of the wonderful things about your blog, Manolo, is the sophistocated use of English. I think this will probably be the first..and perhaps last…time anyone has used the word “manumitted” in a blog.;)
    And, except for no strap to hold those shoes on, I love the colors!!

  2. Phyllis March 21, 2008 at 8:58 am #

    Lusting after these…the black & white version is killer also.

  3. Poochie March 21, 2008 at 9:09 am #

    I love that pink/orange combo.

    I’m also digging these Bettye Muller pink madras flats with a big silver buckle –
    http://www.simplysoles.com/Bettye-Muller-shoes-Frame-by-Bettye-Muller-pink-madras/product/491

    And if you want a cute grey ballet flat (isn’t grey still big this spring?), I just got a pair of these Tibi button flats. –
    http://www.simplysoles.com/Tibi-shoes-Daisy-by-Tibi-gray-suede-flat/product/494

    Luv
    Poochie

  4. oakling March 21, 2008 at 4:08 pm #

    Now wait a minute. how many people really have ugly feet, as opposed to just having inappropriate foot shame? foot dysmorphia, if you will? And if there’s really anything hideously wrong, shouldn’t she go straight to a podiatrist and get freed to run around in whatever shoes she pleases?

  5. wildflower March 21, 2008 at 6:07 pm #

    I must chime in here and confirm to you that truly ugly feet do exist. And it’s not due to health issues, which could indeed be fixed by a podiatrist. I have perfectly healthy, strong, functional feet. But they are just plain ugly. :)

  6. Miss Janey March 21, 2008 at 8:28 pm #

    Miss Janey is afflicted with the feets of fug. These lovely mules would be JUST the thing for spring and summer.

  7. prowlcat March 22, 2008 at 12:02 am #

    I agree. If your feet aesthetically offend you, cover them up. A pedicure is no trip to lourdes. Bunions, hammertoes, nail fungi—can all be fixed, but not all easily or inexpensively.It’s just not worth it to me to wear flip flops (which make all feet except tiny kids’ ugly) to get a summerylook. I, personally, have a thin body and legs, but sport the feet of the Flintstone.

  8. Rondi March 22, 2008 at 3:03 pm #

    I have the curse of the ugly feets, too. I actually had to have surgery on them — not for cosmetic purposes, but because it was becoming sheer agony for me to take a step! And now, thankfully, I am very active…but I have scars on my still-not-pretty-feet (and pins inside them, which sometimes make airport security thingys go off). And mules are a wonderful solution — especially brightly coloured ones like these. I also like ballerina flats in different colours.

  9. Phyllis March 22, 2008 at 7:33 pm #

    90% of feet in this world are fugly. And there is nothing to be done for macaroni toes when you are born with them (ask me how I know!)