Manolo the Columnist
Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.
Dear Manolo,
I am a Congressional page and I’m in need of comfortable, yet stylish, black shoes. Our uniform is a navy blazer with grey slacks or a skirt (with which we have to wear nude or black hose). I’m open to almost anything that looks cute.
Caitlin
Manolo says, ayyyyy! One minute you are sitting in your sophomore social studies class, reading about the founding geniuses, John Adams and George Washington, and the next, thanks to the help of your Uncle Don the politically active scrap metal baron, you are in the Senate cloakroom fighting off the inappropriate fumblings of the senior senator from the Great State of Inebriation.That would not be so bad, but now the congress beings have discovered telephonic text messaging, and so later that evening…
SexySolon: whacha doing?
CongessPage: social studies homework.
SexySolon: oooh, hawt, very hawt.
CongressPage: leave me alone u old perv
The Manolo asks, what better way to turn the young junior achiever into the anarcho-syndicalist than by placing her in close proximity to the American political class?
For the bright young person with the need to run quickly, the Manolo would recommend the Bouillion Maryjane from Ecco in the super cute black patent.
May 2nd, 2008 at 8:41 am
Manolo - you naughty, naughty man — it was a very good thing that I had put down my coffee before I read that. But, for the young person who needs to be quick on their feet AND on their feet most of the time, these are a terrific solution. Bravo!! On my side, however, I would advise hiding a hat pin under the lapel of my jacket for any fumblings..
May 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 am
Ecco is my go-to brand for cute yet comfortable flats and pumps. Great choice as always!!
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:34 am
But Manolo — what about the Eurovision Song Contest?
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:58 am
Eeeeee! The Manolo has recommended the shoes that I actually own! Those Ecco maryjanes are, indeed, practical and cute shoes. I sing in a community chorus and have to wear black shoes in concert, and the Eccos are great for standing for long periods of time.
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:09 pm
The Manolo’s recitation of the text messaging exchange made this stressed out fan of The Manolo laugh out loud, and we know that laughter is the best medicine.
Many thanks and all the best,
NDC
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Ooooh, The Manolo! The Joe thinks you have erred in recommending ANY of these dreadful Mary Jane fashion trend shoes. They’re not attractive on anyone except perhaps Kirsten Dunst, and they could even make her feet look ugly. If you’re hoping to deter the advances of The Senator or The Congressman, then I suppose you have done well in recommending homely footwear. However, The Joe finds it equally likely that aforementioned advanced age power mad political personalities will actually be turned on by shoes otherwise worn by parochial schoolgirls. So our page is at risk either way.
Perhaps the black colored Birkenstocks will scream LESBO! so loud that the letches in question will stay away. Then again, perhaps our page is interested in chatting up that hunky UVA guy who’s headed to Stanford Law. She could just wait until after hours to explain that, no, she indeed does like the men.
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
@The Joe:
Except that the pages’ shoes are expected to be “solid black non-canvas low cut athletic shoes or comfortable black dress shoes” (from Wikipedia). I think she would be fired if she dared to wear Birkenstocks.
As for the Mary Jane choice, they’re fairly appropriate given that congressional pages are only 16, and they do fit the “comfortable black dress shoe” requirement.
May 4th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
ah! the manolo has erred, i beleive, in sugesting the mary-jane loafer things!(they are very, VERY ugly!) i would have suggested anything geox!
however, the joe is also very correct! also, the manolo is very famous in russia! we look up to him in everything shoe-y!
May 4th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
ah! the manolo has erred, i beleive, in sugesting the mary-jane loafer things!(they are very, VERY ugly!) i would have suggested anything geox!
however, the joe is also very correct! also, the manolo is very famous in russia! we look up to him in everything shoe-y!
May 8th, 2008 at 1:09 am
I agree, perhaps the manolo had been doing the drinking at the work. Those have to be the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen. As much as I normally do not like the Crocs, I think that the Croc Alice would have been a much better choice.
http://shop.crocs.com/pc-421-4-alice.aspx?reqid=421&reqProdTypeId=41p&subsectionname=footwear§ion=products
I wear them myself when I have to chase first graders around, and would have worn them myself when I was a senate page, had they existed at the time
May 16th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
The Manolo asks, what better way to turn the young junior achiever into the anarcho-syndicalist than by placing her in close proximity to the American political class?
“the anarcho-syndicalist” or, better yet, a libertarian!