Manolo says, it is only Monday afternoon and, ayyyyy, already you have experienced the major wardrobe malfunction, one that occurred at the moment of maximum inconvenience: while you were presenting your latest expense projections to Mz. Gargglemole, Regional Overlord of Personnel Branding and Scarification, and her phalanx of toadies.
You had just bent over to adjust the Powerpoint projector (which was at that moment displaying your FY 2008-09 estimations for brazier, branding iron, and pincer repairs) when your Spanx unexpectedly, audibly, and explosively, decompressed.
Like the cork out of the champagne bottle.
Your face turned red, your drawers sagged, your bulges bulged, and, worst of all, Trent Garfunkel, your hated office nemesis, snickered.
Lucky for you, Mz. Gargglemole, herself the woman of size, glared the pipsqueaky Trent into gnat-like insignificance, and announced the ten minute recess, which you spent in the washroom working feverishly with electricians tape and the Ace bandage.
The rest of your presentation went magnificently, and afterward, Ms. Gargglemole pulled you aside, complimented you on your composure, and recommended, “just between us big girls”, the boutique where one may purchase the brand of heavy-duty foundation garments manufactured in Soviet Russia.
So, it all worked out for the best in the end, even if you are still somewhat traumatized, and now you have retreated to your desk to look at the shoes so as to calm your jangly nerves.
Last week, the Manolo recommended the Clergerie shoes, and The Thoughtful Dresser blog is always speaking of them.0