Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I am 14 and about to embark on the long and perilous journey of high school. My brother will be a senior, and he has many good-looking friends. I need a reasonably priced cute pair of flats to grab their attention. Please try to keep in mind that I am but a poor babysitter with not much to spare. I hope you can help!

Margo

Manolo says, ayyyy! Where does the childhood go? One minute your little darling is pretending to be the American Girl Felicity, dressing up in her in Colonial Williamsburg embroidered shift and mob cap, and the next she is plotting to use beautiful shoes to ensnare Biff Clostermann, captain of the football team. (“Oh, but he is so dreamy, strutting about the cafeteria with his big shoulders and single eyebrow.”)

But, is has always been thus, no?

The Manolo imagines that at roughly the same age young Sumerian girls put down their clay dollies and started plotting how to get the attention of that hunky Gilgamesh (“Oh, but he is so dreamy, strutting about Uruk with those curly ringlets and bronze sword.”)

Look, here is the Game Over from the Naughty Monkey, the perfect flat for the new school year.