Manolo the Columnist

By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I am 14 and about to embark on the long and perilous journey of high school. My brother will be a senior, and he has many good-looking friends. I need a reasonably priced cute pair of flats to grab their attention. Please try to keep in mind that I am but a poor babysitter with not much to spare. I hope you can help!


Manolo says, ayyyy! Where does the childhood go? One minute your little darling is pretending to be the American Girl Felicity, dressing up in her in Colonial Williamsburg embroidered shift and mob cap, and the next she is plotting to use beautiful shoes to ensnare Biff Clostermann, captain of the football team. (“Oh, but he is so dreamy, strutting about the cafeteria with his big shoulders and single eyebrow.”)

But, is has always been thus, no?

The Manolo imagines that at roughly the same age young Sumerian girls put down their clay dollies and started plotting how to get the attention of that hunky Gilgamesh (“Oh, but he is so dreamy, strutting about Uruk with those curly ringlets and bronze sword.”)

Look, here is the Game Over from the Naughty Monkey, the perfect flat for the new school year.

Game Over from Naughty Monkey


22 Responses to “Manolo the Columnist”

  1. Rachel Says:

    Manolo, while that is a gorgeous back to school flat, I think you missed our young babysitter’s need for something inexpensive. That is the gorgeous shoe she attempts to convince her mother to buy for her, not the gorgeous shoe she can buy with her babysitting money.

  2. RZA Says:

    Ummm… this is actually an extremely price-conscious suggestion from the Manolo, and totally appropriate.

  3. La Petite Acadienne Says:

    If La Petite Acadienne had a daughter as witty, articulate and enterprising as the Margo, she would buy her all the cute flats her little heart could desire.

  4. Poochie Says:

    Kids get $10 an hour these days, not the measly $2 I got for watching my three horrendous bratty cousins. I baby sat for a co-worker a few years ago and made $100 for afternoon/night.

    This is well within a price range for Margo I would think.


  5. wildflower Says:

    I know this is WAY off topic and not at all the point of the column or this blog, but in all seriousness I must say:

    If any 17-18-year-old guy has a serious interest (beyond casual flirting) with a 14-year-old girl, he is BAD news. Run away, fast. I speak from sad experience.

    That being said, good luck in high school! Work hard, play hard, and have tons of fun!

  6. shrimper Says:

    The babysitter could get a different pair of cute shoes for each day at somewhere like Payless for all that Biff cares, and still have $20 left to get some lip gloss.

  7. raincoaster Says:

    Bloggers don’t make much more than babysitters, and that’s well within my price range. Just how attractive is Biff, anyway?

  8. JK Says:

    Ah, but methinks if it is your cute shoes grab a high school boy’s attention, he may not be the sort of boy interested in the girl wearing the shoes…

  9. valawhoo Says:

    I’m willing to bet Gilgamesh had a unibrow, too. Seems like he’d be the sort.

  10. Rachel of Cyberia Says:

    High-school boys don’t notice a girl’s shoes.

  11. Jennifer L. Says:

    Be still my racing heart! Did someone suggest er, um, Payless? Heaven forbid! While I am not enamored of the little Margo’s intentions at such a tender age (shouldn’t she be screaming over Hannah Montana anyway?) I do hope her sartorial sensibilities would run counter to the offerings of the P-store.

  12. Joan of Argghh! Says:

    If it wasn’t for Payless, I’d be shoe-less.

    Well, not entirely…

  13. SuziZ Says:

    Since when did the high school boys start noticing something as subtle as a flat?

  14. Peregrine John Says:

    Look, $80-90 is less than a third of the usual recommendations made here. Bargain basement, practically, from our host’s point of view, if more than Payless ever asked for boots. I’ve a notion that our ingénue knew that before writing.

    Not that it much matters. Shoes suitable for school will barely inflect the consciousness, let alone opinion, of Biff/Gil.

  15. VeddyVeddyBadAng Says:

    I have to agree with Wildflower. Maybe I’m being old-fashioned here (at the age of 35) but freshman girl/senior boy does sound a little like big trouble just waiting to happen.

  16. fashionfrenzy Says:

    perfectly acceptable solution to our girl’s quandry–might I suggest the trends department at Nordstrom as well–happy shopping!

  17. desertwind Says:

    Ah, yes Wildflower & VeddyVeddyBadAng, you make a good point. But, don’t forget that Margo will be under the protection of her big brother. His friends know he’d kick their ass should they have designs beyond flirting and, most importantly, his sister knows this, too.

    Speaking of kicking ass — those shoes are cute!

  18. desertwind Says:

    Hmmm…. try this submission again. It won’t be as witty as last one, but there ya go.

    Wildflower & VeddyVeddyBadAng, don’t worry about Margo. Her big brother will kick the ass of any boy of any age who tries to get near her. Should she try to get any closer to the older boys than “little sister of our friend,” he’ll kick her butt, too. Or threaten to tell the parental unit, who will then ground her. Her babysitting career will be over and she’ll be forced to go Payless.

  19. Long Island Says:

    Children are cruel.

    If your family budget allows please do not put your children in Payless shoes.

    I have heard kids call children wearing inexpensive shoes, “Payless” instead of using their real names.

    With kids wearing $120 sneakers to school, Naughty Monkey shoes are moderately priced.

    Frankly, I have come to the conclusion all kids should wear uniforms paired with a nice saddle oxford.

  20. Long Island Says:

    Oh it not just the “mean girls” who make these observations about shoes. Many boys are right there with them.

  21. La BellaDonna Says:

    La Petite Acadienne, La BellaDonna, she is right with you; she would gladly take the witty and articulate Margo shopping for the cute shoes and all the other cute fripperies dear to the hearts of girls.

    La BellaDonna suspects that whether or not the cute flats are noticed by the senior boys, they will boost the courage and confidence of the youthful scholar, and it is that which will be noticed by the boys. The Margo, of course, will attribute it to the pretty flats. And in its way, it will be true.

    La BellaDonna, while not entirely certain that the Margo at 14 should have her eye on the young man of 17, suspects that, as witty and articulate as she is, may have more in common with the older boys than the younger ones. However, a word to the young Margo: it is entirely possible that your brother will indeed look out for you – so much so that none of his friends would dare do more than treat you as their own little sister. Do not despair! The right person, he is out there – and in the meanwhile, you will have the shoes.

Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
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