Sigerson Morrison for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back in your office wrestling with the copy machine, and the fax machine, and your computer, and the mail machine, all of which are attempting to sabotage–with persistent paper jams and inexplicable malfunctions–your effort to complete one of the most important projects of your career. .

And now, the stapler on your desk (Swingline, 747 Classic in red) is looking funny at you, and you are wondering “What did I do to deserve this?” And so you call the tech support guys.

“Tech Support.”

Oh, gosh darn it, you got Creepy Greg, the one everybody is wary of, not Nice Greg, the one everyone trusts. But, what can you do? You are desperate and need help right now, and so you tell Creepy Greg about the problems, and he replies with something unexpected.

“You have to propitiate the God of Office Machines.”

“What?!?”

“Photocopicus, he demands an offering.”

“What?”

“Photocopicus, dammit! Photocopicus! He needs a sacrifice. Grab some paperclips and go to the storage closet in the copier room. We’ve got a small altar there. Bow your head, state your desires, and leave the paperclips as an offering.”

“What? Can you have the other Greg call me?”

“He’ll tell you the same thing, dammit. Just do it, alright? Just do it. Trust me it’ll work.” And then he hangs up.

And now you are certain that you are part of the elaborate practical joke, but you are desperate, very, very desperate. And so, even though you are the Methodist, you grab the box of paperclips from your desk drawer and you go to the copier room, and there, in the closet, just as Creepy Greg said, there is the tiny gilded bronze replica of the photocopier, the Canon 330d, with the words “Photocopicus, God of Office Machines” engraved on the base. Around the idol are scattered paper clips, erasers, rollerball pens, and elaborately-folded origami sticky notes, colored in fanciful ways with highlighters.

Following instructions, and feeling more than the little ridiculous, you bow your head and ask Photocopicus to aid you in the completion of your presentation. And then you leave six paperclips, hoping that it is the correct number.

Two hours later, after you have successfully finished your presentation without incident, the phone rings, and it is Nice Greg, the tech guy everyone likes.

“So, did it work?”

“Um, yes, I think so.”

“Good.” And then he hangs up, leaving you feeling like you’re living in the middle of the Charlie Kaufman movie.

You know what you need now to erase that feeling of unheimlichkeit? Shoes, good old dependable, concrete, wonderful, never-let-us-down shoes.

Look, here are the marvelously real, wonderfully pretty Sigerson Morrison suede skimmers.

Sigerson Morrison Suede Skimmers.  Manolo Likes!  Click!

12 Responses to “Sigerson Morrison for the Monday”

  1. Molly October 20, 2008 at 3:06 pm #

    Those are unbelievably beautiful! If I had a bottomless wallet, I’d snap them right up!

  2. La Petite Acadienne October 20, 2008 at 3:22 pm #

    Ooh! Those shoes would make me light on my feet. You don’t merely walk in shoes like that. No, no. You would dance and prance down the street, imagining yourself the plucky ingenue, about to be swept off your feet by the dashing man with a dimple in his chin.

  3. Poochie October 20, 2008 at 3:24 pm #

    Wait! I want more of this story…..!

    Manolo – I’m intrigued! More Greg!

    Luv
    Poochie

    !!!

  4. La Petite Acadienne October 20, 2008 at 3:26 pm #

    Oh, and have you heard the sad news about Mr. Blackwell?
    http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iDewFnKiSPsKPMzbYqKFT_6tiYdQD93U8KK80

  5. marvel October 20, 2008 at 5:06 pm #

    Was that an Office Space reference tucked in there? The Manolo never ceases to surprise me with his erudition and culture!

  6. shiloh October 21, 2008 at 1:00 am #

    “And so, even though you are the Methodist,” which is why Manolo is a joy.

  7. MissMarj October 21, 2008 at 6:05 am #

    My colleagues and I are constructing an altar to Photocopicus now. That’s where we’ve been going wrong all these years. All hail!

  8. Victor October 21, 2008 at 8:21 am #

    As Mr. Company Computer Guy, I’d like to let any ladies at my office who may be reading this know that those who wear super-fantastic shoes (both of you) will have their IT needs taken care of promptly and efficiently, with no paperclip sacrifices needed. The rest of you should start wearing super-fantastic shoes or start hoarding paper clips & brushing up on your sticky-note origami skills.

  9. CM October 21, 2008 at 9:34 am #

    Manolo, you are a genius.

  10. Evie October 21, 2008 at 2:38 pm #

    Victor–ha! Oh, to live in a world (or office!) where all of life’s problems could be solved by being fabulous :)

  11. Signout October 21, 2008 at 6:07 pm #

    Buenos Aires has made you weirder. I don’t mind.

  12. LizaBet October 22, 2008 at 8:56 pm #

    They also come in dark red patent leather!! (sigh!!)