Manolo says, and now the Dia de San Valentin approaches and you have not yet purchased the gifts which you will shower upon that special man in your life.
But you are confuddled, as not only have you learned, through hard lessons, that the writers at Cosmo and Elle know next to nothing (NOTHING!!!) about how to make the man happy (despite what the salacious headlines say), but also that your man is the sort, who, like Octavian, adopts the facade of modesty, even as the gifts and honors are heaped upon him. And so you know from experience that he will stoically pretend to be unswayed by your acts of tribute, not letting on that he is actually thrilled that you love him, that he is the princeps civitatis of your Heart.
Because you have determined to make this the super fantastic Valentine’s Day, you must now locate the small gifts suitable to the Augustan tastes of your man, which is where the Manolo, your humble Attic slave, can help, by suggesting items that shall please the Emperor.