Jessica Simpson Needs a Fashion Intervention

N.B. Guest post by Steven Cojocaru. Read more at Cojo’s blog CojoStyle.

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Jessica: no, no, no, no, no!!! Forget Ken Paves, I’m the one who tosses and turns in my California King bed all night thinking about how to ‘save’ you from yourself. You know my family once tried to ‘change me’ and sent me to Outer Mongolia to live with monks. I turned quite a few monks over to my fab team, but that’s a different story. I have found some adorable gay monks who will take you in and burn that ill-fitting boob-spilling, optical illusion dress. That dress shouldn’t be worn hon, it should be framed. Much love, Cojo

10 Responses to “Jessica Simpson Needs a Fashion Intervention”

  1. Cat April 13, 2010 at 11:46 am #

    I don’t know. I think if the dress were tailored to fit her rack better, it would be pretty cute.

  2. Jezebella April 13, 2010 at 12:29 pm #

    I have to agree, Cat. The dress is cute, she just needs to wear the right size.

  3. Kimberley April 13, 2010 at 1:25 pm #

    I’m with The Coj on this one- the only thing pretty iabout this dress is the fabric. The bodice is desperately unflattering, ditto the high waistband (Empire is not an easy look for the well-endowed lady) and- and- the hem isn’t even pressed!

    Wouldn’t work even if it was in a size better suited to our buxom lass.

  4. Plumcake April 13, 2010 at 1:55 pm #

    It’s one of those Magic Eye things. You just have to let your vision go all blurry and you can make out the shape of her former career.

  5. crystal April 13, 2010 at 2:20 pm #

    Why can’t Jessica dress for her body type. Her boobs look like they are pushed up to her face. That dress would look better on a thinner woman. I have seen other pictures on other websites, and her arm fat is spilling out of the top of the dress. The hair is also ugly. Never cared for Jessica’s fashion, she has no fashion sense. I don’t understand why people call her a fashion icon. I don’t get it, I don’t see it. She has never desses well in my opinion. Her clothes are always to tight and her boobs are always falling out. Get a stylist girl, cause you can’t do it by yourself.

  6. Dani April 13, 2010 at 2:27 pm #

    This dress looks as if it were made from the gum wrappers used by that young lady in Iowa to make a prom dress. Same colors- even the pattern resembles it.

    http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2010/04/12/prom.dress.gum.wrappers.kimt?iref=allsearch

    Strange coincidence, no?

  7. raincoaster April 13, 2010 at 11:45 pm #

    I think that fabric is leftover from the recent Greyhound bus seat makeover. And the polish is a near miss. Near misses count against you when you’re trying that hard.

  8. NoHollabackGirl April 14, 2010 at 12:00 am #

    Never been a fan of her and agree the fashion icon label is wrong. She’s dressing like she’s a small size and she needs to change up her hair. I don’t get why people like her but whatever. Now, Gwen Stefani, that’s a fashion icon.

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