Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

My husband has concocted what he thinks is the perfect Mother’s Day scheme, a plan that involves packing me off to a fancy brunch with his mother and his best friend’s wife and mother, while he and his pal stay at home “taking care of the kids” and watching baseball on television. While I admit that the thought of a champagne brunch with friends and no kids is appealing, doesn’t my being sent away with his mother constitute some sort of shirking of my husband’s Mother’s Day responsibility? Please suggest some shoes that will make this go down easier.

Erin

Manolo says, while this scheme, which involves at least three of the four major Mother’s Day food groups (Canadian bacon, hollandaise sauce, and mimosas, the fourth being Russell Stovers chocolate) is indeed most bold, it sadly does not fulfill the most basic of the Mother’s Day brunching requirements, that the child be present for the consumption of the aforesaid foodstuffs.

Everyone knows that it is not the Mother’s Day if you do not get to watch your mother eat!

Feeding her is how you pay her back for all of those years she shoveled homemade food onto your plate, by sitting there quietly while she eats eggs benedict and country potatoes, getting buzzed on the second-rate champagne, and recounting for everyone at the table the story of how she suffered through 17 hours of labor while giving birth to you.

Look! It is the Better Than Gold from Lilly Pulitzer, the wedge sandal that both you and your husband’s mother will love.