Manolo says, as if more proof is needed that the loathsome poncho is coming back into the fashion…
Do not be Kim Kardashian. Do not wear the poncho.
Manolo says, this morning, the Manolo’s twitter feed is alive with the sound of horror, as various internet friends complain about the return of the fashion poncho.
How soon the world forgets!
Here, from March 9th, 2005 is the Manolo’s No Poncho Pledge…
Manolo says, it looks like something the carefully groomed, pedigreed siamese had dragged in.
Manolo says, the Manolo he thought he had buried the poncho this most unattractive of the fashions. But now, thanks to the Martha, it is again rising from the grave!
Formerly, the Manolo he had regarded the poncho as merely the benign if ridiculous fashion trend.
Now, the Manolo he realizes that the poncho it is the evil incarnate.
It is the loathsome seducer of the womens. It calls in the sweet voice, “I am the poncho, if you wear me I will help you conceal your flaws. I promise, your hips, they will disappear under my protective cover of man-made fibers. Look, darling, you can even make me yourself for $1.49 in the material. Choose the aqua yarn. It is pretty no?”
And so you go with the poncho, and you wear it out to the business meeting, on the hot date, or to the social of the church, and all it seems well.
Then, one morning, you wake up hung over, and the bank account it is empty, and there are twenty-seven ponchos of various ridiculous colors and patterns in the closet.
In that instant you realize that your life it has been wasted on this loser of the fashion. Worse, thanks to the ubiquity of the digital cameras, for the next twenty years you will have to look at the family photos in which you appear to be the over-stuffed sofa covered with the homemade afghan.
Do not have this happen to you. Do not be seduced by the poncho.
You can help the Manolo put the stake into the heart of this hideous vampire by taking the Manolo No-Poncho Pledge.
The Manolo No-Poncho Pledge
“I (insert the name here) swear on the head and/or the grave of my sainted granny to never wear, buy, knit, crochet, or fashion from the old throw rug, the poncho. And if the poncho it is given to me as the gift, I will graciously thank the giver and then, when she has left, put the poncho into the dog’s bed and/or the trash as the case she may be. Only by doing these things faithfully can I help end for the good of the humanity the scourge that is the poncho. So help me Manolo.”
Manolo says, it is indeed sad that is has come to this point.
Do not be the fashion victim. Do not wear the poncho.