Everything Old is New Again: The Manolo No Poncho Pledge
Manolo says, this morning, the Manolo’s twitter feed is alive with the sound of horror, as various internet friends complain about the return of the fashion poncho.
How soon the world forgets!
Here, from March 9th, 2005 is the Manolo’s No Poncho Pledge…
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Manolo says, it looks like something the carefully groomed, pedigreed siamese had dragged in.
Manolo says, the Manolo he thought he had buried the poncho this most unattractive of the fashions. But now, thanks to the Martha, it is again rising from the grave!
Formerly, the Manolo he had regarded the poncho as merely the benign if ridiculous fashion trend.
Now, the Manolo he realizes that the poncho it is the evil incarnate.
It is the loathsome seducer of the womens. It calls in the sweet voice, “I am the poncho, if you wear me I will help you conceal your flaws. I promise, your hips, they will disappear under my protective cover of man-made fibers. Look, darling, you can even make me yourself for $1.49 in the material. Choose the aqua yarn. It is pretty no?”
And so you go with the poncho, and you wear it out to the business meeting, on the hot date, or to the social of the church, and all it seems well.
Then, one morning, you wake up hung over, and the bank account it is empty, and there are twenty-seven ponchos of various ridiculous colors and patterns in the closet.
In that instant you realize that your life it has been wasted on this loser of the fashion. Worse, thanks to the ubiquity of the digital cameras, for the next twenty years you will have to look at the family photos in which you appear to be the over-stuffed sofa covered with the homemade afghan.
Do not have this happen to you. Do not be seduced by the poncho.
You can help the Manolo put the stake into the heart of this hideous vampire by taking the Manolo No-Poncho Pledge.
The Manolo No-Poncho Pledge
“I (insert the name here) swear on the head and/or the grave of my sainted granny to never wear, buy, knit, crochet, or fashion from the old throw rug, the poncho. And if the poncho it is given to me as the gift, I will graciously thank the giver and then, when she has left, put the poncho into the dog’s bed and/or the trash as the case she may be. Only by doing these things faithfully can I help end for the good of the humanity the scourge that is the poncho. So help me Manolo.”
Manolo says, it is indeed sad that is has come to this point.
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Do not be the fashion victim. Do not wear the poncho.
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Comments
gemdiva 9 years ago
“I The Gemdiva swear on the head and/or the grave of my sainted granny to never wear, buy, knit, crochet, or fashion from the old throw rug, the poncho. And if the poncho it is given to me as the gift, I will graciously thank the giver and then, when she has left, put the poncho into the dog’s bed and/or the trash as the case she may be. Only by doing these things faithfully can I help end for the good of the humanity the scourge that is the poncho. So help me Manolo.”
Victor 9 years ago
If you do not have a dog bed for the unwanted poncho, I will be happy to take them off your hands, as my beloved pet rats love to make nests of anything they can get their little rat hands on.
(If the thought of pet rats squicks you out, just think of them as filligreed Siberian hamsters. And, yes, they’re in cages.)
Moi;) 9 years ago
“I, Moi;), swear on the head and/or the grave of my sainted granny to never wear, buy, knit, crochet, or fashion from the old throw rug, the poncho. And if the poncho it is given to me as the gift, I will graciously thank the giver and then, when she has left, put the poncho into the dog’s bed and/or the trash as the case she may be. Only by doing these things faithfully can I help end for the good of the humanity the scourge that is the poncho. So help me Manolo.”
Sarahbe 9 years ago
I Sarahbe swear on the head and/or the grave of my sainted granny to never wear, buy, knit, crochet, or fashion from the old throw rug, the poncho. And if the poncho it is given to me as the gift, I will graciously thank the giver and then, when she has left, put the poncho into the dog’s bed and/or the trash as the case she may be. Only by doing these things faithfully can I help end for the good of the humanity the scourge that is the poncho. So help me Manolo.
Sarah 9 years ago
I Sarah swear on the head and/or the grave of my sainted granny to never wear, buy, knit, crochet, or fashion from the old throw rug, the poncho. And if the poncho it is given to me as the gift, I will graciously thank the giver and then, when she has left, put the poncho into the dog’s bed and/or the trash as the case she may be. Only by doing these things faithfully can I help end for the good of the humanity the scourge that is the poncho. So help me Manolo.
wildflower 9 years ago
filigreed, Victor? Or did you mean pedigreed? Or are your rats lost-wax-cast little works of art?
:)
Victor 9 years ago
It’s hard to tell with Manuel’s accent. I’ll have to watch that episode of Fawlty Towers again.
HeidiAphrodite 9 years ago
Is it ok if I wear my pretty orange ruana when it’s chilly-ish? Or my cashmere wraps? Please?
Patti 9 years ago
I’ve been gifted with a poncho before….being owned by four cats, I always have the option of saying, “Oh, MY – one of the cats has caught a claw on it and I’m afraid it is ruined utterly!”
Lisa 9 years ago
My dogs would totally love that.
theDiva 9 years ago
nevah, nevah, NEVAH shall I wear a poncho. So help me, Manolo. Didn’t even like them back in the 70s.
Miss Janey 9 years ago
Miss J swears, promises and forever avows she will never wear the poncho!
Audi 9 years ago
Say it isn’t so! I doubly loathe ponchos now that they’re back again! No oaths needed here — I wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those hideous things!