Loeffler Randall Mesh Lace-Up Ankle Boots For the Monday

It is Monday, and coming back from the Pilates this morning you ran into your old frenemy, Jenny, who described for you at great and exhausting length her new workout regime: the form of acrobatic “hot” yoga, which involves contorting oneself into the variety of unlikely positions, in the room heated to 120 humid degrees, while the small Indian man shouts quasi-religious non sequiturs at you.

“Inward, you will take your awareness now…”

Frankly, you would probably be more interested in yoga (Jenny does look great) except as the Roman Catholic you already have the mystical religion, thank you very much, and are not in need of the second more exotic one.

And then, on your way back to the office, it hits you: Catholic Yoga!

You will open the yoga salon which encourages its student to contemplate the suffering of the martyrs while assuming the attitudes of their deaths!

‘This position is known as St. Catherine on the Wheel,” you say as you splay your arms and legs into the unnatural pose, “take the awareness of Catherine’s suffering inward, hear her cries of agony, revel in God’s grace.”

To be followed by the St. Lawrence on the Griddle, in which you exhort the students to “feel the burn,” as you turn the room heat up to it’s highest setting.

And you are so excited by this new venture, which is certain to you make you as rich and as famous as any Indian ascetic, that you immediately begin planning your new wardrobe which will certainly include these ankle boots…

Loeffler Randall Mesh Lace-Up Ankle Boots

The Loeffler Randall Mesh Lace-Up Ankle Boots.

12 Responses to “Loeffler Randall Mesh Lace-Up Ankle Boots For the Monday”

  1. wildflower June 14, 2010 at 4:18 pm #

    Did you really mean an Indian aesthetic, Manolo? Or did you perhaps mean an Indian ascetic?

  2. Dani June 14, 2010 at 4:34 pm #

    That made me smile, Manolo. I await instructions on the Infinite Kneeling pose, for I am weak and often let my backside rest upon the seat behind me.

  3. Manolo the Shoeblogger June 14, 2010 at 4:38 pm #

    Ayyyy! The Manolo has erred! Many thanks to the wildflower for alerting the Manolo to this. He has corrected it.

  4. Lisa June 14, 2010 at 4:47 pm #

    Oh, man, Dani, me, too. However, entirely too many saints had their eyes poked out and that just doesn’t work for me.

  5. Miss Janey June 14, 2010 at 4:47 pm #

    Even though she isn’t Catholic, this made Miss J LOL.

  6. The gold digger June 14, 2010 at 5:06 pm #

    Yes but how will anyone regain her virginity to assume the poses of all the saints who refused to marry?

  7. Phyllis June 14, 2010 at 6:40 pm #

    Or maybe The Stations of the Cross yoga?

  8. caia June 15, 2010 at 2:30 am #

    Alas, Manola, Christian Yoga already exists.

    So your imaginary interlocutor can indeed pray and listen to Jesus music while doing yoga, if she so pleases.

  9. The gold digger June 15, 2010 at 9:37 am #

    Caia, I will bet that Pentecostal yoga and Catholic yoga would be two very different animals.

  10. Barbara June 15, 2010 at 7:31 pm #

    St. Stephen pose: any position but you have to be stoned.

    I once took a yoga class from a sweet young thing who was all into the religious aspects of Yoga (Hindu, of course.) But at one point she was doing a simple “energy” pose in which the arms were straight out in a “t” and she explained that this was a universally understood position of great (positive) energy, and as an example she asked us what we thought of when we saw her in this position. I was horrified- I thought of the crucifixion, of course, but couldn’t reconcile her “positive energy” patter with that image. And yes, she said, “You know, JESUS!” I told her privately in an email that neither Christians nor Romans considered that position anything but extreme torture, pain, and humiliation and asked her to reconsider her thoughts on the subject. I never received a reply or an apology.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks:

  1. Fausta’s Blog » Blog Archive » Shoes: The $470 difference - June 14, 2010

    [...] The ever-witty and charming Manolo has a very funny article featuring the Loeffler Randall Mesh Lace-Up Ankle Boots For the Monday. [...]

  2. Catholic Yoga—with the Beautiful Shoes » First Thoughts | A First Things Blog - June 15, 2010

    [...] friend Manolo the Shoeblogger—one of the great Internet prose stylists of our time—has an idea: It is Monday, and coming back from the Pilates this morning you ran into your old frenemy, Jenny, [...]