Six Years of Shoeblogging: Shoes With Which to Overawe the Natives

N.B. In honor of the Manolo’s six years of shoeblogging, the Manolo has decided to repost this week some of his favorite pieces.

This post, in which the Manolo responds to the inquiry from one of his dearest internet friends, first appeared on March 13th, 2007

Manolo says, one of the Manolo’s dear internet friends has asked him the question.

Querido Manolo,

I have just received an invitation to present a paper in Helsinki this summer at a conference on the laws of war. This means that I shall be the only twenty-something-year-old female in a hall full of big, gruff, snarly, manlymen. Since genetic constitution and chromosomal make-up render it impossible for me to project an image of gruff, snarly, girlitude, I prefer to present myself as both a lover and a fighter. Could you please recommend a pair of show-stopping shoes that would convey this image?

Further considerations:
(1) Price and heel altitude are distant seconds to superfantasticness.
(2) I think it’s time for me to buy my first Manolos.

If you decide to post this query, could you please leave my name out? Muchisimas gracias!

With warmest wishes from frosty NYC,

Manolo says, mucho-macho, snarly, gruffy-huffy, law-of-war manly men? In Finland?

Oy, to the Manolo this does not sound like fun. Indeed, it sounds as if the Manolo’s nameless friend is riding out to the annual Mongol Golden Horde company picnic, featuring all the roast badger and curdled mares’ milk you can eat, followed by the spirited game of “Kick the Head”.

In this case, she should do as the Manolo does when forced to participate in the strange native rites, behave as if you were the eccentric 19th century British explorer.

Be polite, be friendly, be sympathetic, but make it clear to the cannibalistic savages, through your dress and your comportment, that you represent the superior culture, one which offers these benighted souls the benefits of indoor plumbing and the afternoon tea.

Thus, when the lawyers of war offer you the drink of honeyed mead in the polished skull of their slain-in-battle senior partner, you must sip politely, and smilingly promise them, in your best Queen’s English, that you will return soon with the Royal Navy gunboat and destroy their God-forsaken way of life.

Of the course, in the meantime, the Manolo’s friend must dress in the manner that shows them that she is the powerful and important person in her own culture, one who must not be trifled with (or, at the least, one who must not be cut up and tossed into the bubbling cauldron of lunch.)

What better way to do this than with the aggressively beautiful shoes?

Here are two classic pairs of the Maestro Manolo Blahnik’s shoes that one should not live without.

Carolyne by Manolo Blahnik   Manolo Loves!  CLICK!Carolyne by Manolo Blahnik   Manolo Likes!  Click!

Either in the mid-heel or the high-heel, in the dark brown or the black, these shoes are serious enough for the everyday work, and yet, kick-ass enough to quell the native insurrection.

If one truly wishes to leave the savages speachless, however, then the Manolo suggests these slightly less practical pumps from the Christian Louboutain.

Louboutin Metallic Python Pumps

Metallic python?

Expected reaction: “Ooooooh, shiny! Lawyer Grog think pretty lady in glittery snake shoes have mighty mojo. Must listen attentively to presentation.”

OCT
2010
22

Modern Romance

Manolo says, it is common in the modern era for Internet relationships to progress rapidly once the participants meet for the first time in person.

Ayyyy!  Cara mio, come to Papa Bear.

All of those weeks of emailing and texting, texting and emailing, until finally, he hops on the plane, and flies to your town for the weekend encounter.

Question of etiquette: do you slip him the tongue on the first date?

You embrace warmly at the airport, go to the dinner at this romantic place you know down by the river, dancing afterward, and then…?

(more…)

OCT
2010
22

Manolo the Columnist: Cole Haan Air Clair Short Boot

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I am looking for cute walking shoes that I can wear on my commute to work and they’ll still be appropriate for work. I am sick and tired of ruining my cute (nonwalkable) shoes on the stairs, escalators, and uneven sidewalks in Washington, DC. What do you suggested?

Rosia

Manolo says, it is the eternal question: On the one of the hands, “OMG, those four-inch stiletto-heeled patent-leather peep-toes are AMAZING!!! I will look like the trillion dollars in them.”

On the other of the hands, the next morning, “Ayyyy! I am late for the bus, I must run!”

On the third of the hands, “Owwwww! I have fallen and broken my leg, and worse, the heel has broken off of my fancy shoe!”

On the fourth of the hands, “These orthopedic shoes which look like they were made by the medieval goatherds, are remarkably comfortable on my feet.”

On the fifth of the hands, “That cute boy in accounting, just said I reminded him of his Aunty Muriel.”

On the sixth of the hands, “Sigh, perhaps I should get some nude knee stockings to wear with my new tweed, mid-calf old-lady skirt and twin set.”

Look here is the Cole Haan Air Clair Short Boot, the comfortable shoe that would look good on the way to, and in, the office.

Cole Haan Air Clair Short Boot