Archive for October, 2010

Petulant in Panniers

Saturday, October 23rd, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Tell the truth, do my hips look too big in this?

Manolo says, you eat nothing but the Tic-Tacs and the nicotine gum for two weeks…

The Manolo on Facebook

Saturday, October 23rd, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

The Manolo politely reminds you that he is part of the Facebook, where he occasionally airs his thoughts about life, dining, and the fashion…

Manolo on Facebook

Naturally, he would be most honored if you would consider making him one of your special Facebook friends.

P.S. You may also desire to follow some of the Manolo’s more banal and ephemeral pensées on the Twitter.

Six Years of Shoeblogging: Shoes With Which to Overawe the Natives

Friday, October 22nd, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

N.B. In honor of the Manolo’s six years of shoeblogging, the Manolo has decided to repost this week some of his favorite pieces.

This post, in which the Manolo responds to the inquiry from one of his dearest internet friends, first appeared on March 13th, 2007

Manolo says, one of the Manolo’s dear internet friends has asked him the question.

Querido Manolo,

I have just received an invitation to present a paper in Helsinki this summer at a conference on the laws of war. This means that I shall be the only twenty-something-year-old female in a hall full of big, gruff, snarly, manlymen. Since genetic constitution and chromosomal make-up render it impossible for me to project an image of gruff, snarly, girlitude, I prefer to present myself as both a lover and a fighter. Could you please recommend a pair of show-stopping shoes that would convey this image?

Further considerations:
(1) Price and heel altitude are distant seconds to superfantasticness.
(2) I think it’s time for me to buy my first Manolos.

If you decide to post this query, could you please leave my name out? Muchisimas gracias!

With warmest wishes from frosty NYC,

Manolo says, mucho-macho, snarly, gruffy-huffy, law-of-war manly men? In Finland?

Oy, to the Manolo this does not sound like fun. Indeed, it sounds as if the Manolo’s nameless friend is riding out to the annual Mongol Golden Horde company picnic, featuring all the roast badger and curdled mares’ milk you can eat, followed by the spirited game of “Kick the Head”.

In this case, she should do as the Manolo does when forced to participate in the strange native rites, behave as if you were the eccentric 19th century British explorer.

Be polite, be friendly, be sympathetic, but make it clear to the cannibalistic savages, through your dress and your comportment, that you represent the superior culture, one which offers these benighted souls the benefits of indoor plumbing and the afternoon tea.

Thus, when the lawyers of war offer you the drink of honeyed mead in the polished skull of their slain-in-battle senior partner, you must sip politely, and smilingly promise them, in your best Queen’s English, that you will return soon with the Royal Navy gunboat and destroy their God-forsaken way of life.

Of the course, in the meantime, the Manolo’s friend must dress in the manner that shows them that she is the powerful and important person in her own culture, one who must not be trifled with (or, at the least, one who must not be cut up and tossed into the bubbling cauldron of lunch.)

What better way to do this than with the aggressively beautiful shoes?

Here are two classic pairs of the Maestro Manolo Blahnik’s shoes that one should not live without.

Carolyne by Manolo Blahnik   Manolo Loves!  CLICK!Carolyne by Manolo Blahnik   Manolo Likes!  Click!

Either in the mid-heel or the high-heel, in the dark brown or the black, these shoes are serious enough for the everyday work, and yet, kick-ass enough to quell the native insurrection.

If one truly wishes to leave the savages speachless, however, then the Manolo suggests these slightly less practical pumps from the Christian Louboutain.

Louboutin Metallic Python Pumps

Metallic python?

Expected reaction: “Ooooooh, shiny! Lawyer Grog think pretty lady in glittery snake shoes have mighty mojo. Must listen attentively to presentation.”

Modern Romance

Friday, October 22nd, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo says, it is common in the modern era for Internet relationships to progress rapidly once the participants meet for the first time in person.

Ayyyy!  Cara mio, come to Papa Bear.

All of those weeks of emailing and texting, texting and emailing, until finally, he hops on the plane, and flies to your town for the weekend encounter.

Question of etiquette: do you slip him the tongue on the first date?

You embrace warmly at the airport, go to the dinner at this romantic place you know down by the river, dancing afterward, and then…?


Manolo the Columnist: Cole Haan Air Clair Short Boot

Friday, October 22nd, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I am looking for cute walking shoes that I can wear on my commute to work and they’ll still be appropriate for work. I am sick and tired of ruining my cute (nonwalkable) shoes on the stairs, escalators, and uneven sidewalks in Washington, DC. What do you suggested?


Manolo says, it is the eternal question: On the one of the hands, “OMG, those four-inch stiletto-heeled patent-leather peep-toes are AMAZING!!! I will look like the trillion dollars in them.”

On the other of the hands, the next morning, “Ayyyy! I am late for the bus, I must run!”

On the third of the hands, “Owwwww! I have fallen and broken my leg, and worse, the heel has broken off of my fancy shoe!”

On the fourth of the hands, “These orthopedic shoes which look like they were made by the medieval goatherds, are remarkably comfortable on my feet.”

On the fifth of the hands, “That cute boy in accounting, just said I reminded him of his Aunty Muriel.”

On the sixth of the hands, “Sigh, perhaps I should get some nude knee stockings to wear with my new tweed, mid-calf old-lady skirt and twin set.”

Look here is the Cole Haan Air Clair Short Boot, the comfortable shoe that would look good on the way to, and in, the office.

Cole Haan Air Clair Short Boot

The Tron Disney Shoe vs. The Gehry Disney Concert Hall

Thursday, October 21st, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Jerome Rousseau's Tron Disney ShoeFrank Gehry's Disney Concert Hall

Manolo says, because sometimes the poetry cannot express everything, the Manolo gives you the pictures.

For the Manolo, this is the remarkably original and attractive shoe, one that may, as you may see above, have had the very witty inspiration. (Although, the Jerome Rousseau does not give us any hint of this in his only published comment on the matter.)

“I didn’t want to make something gimmicky,” Rousseau remarked when we sat down with him for a sneak peek. “I wanted it to be something women wanted to wear, not just a salute to Tron—something that conveyed the mood and cool modernity of Tron without falling into a trap of a contrived design.”

The Manolo’s poetry of this morning, however, was occasioned by the almost strangely post-modern marketing confluence of the flimsy video game movie remake, the Walt Disney Company, and the high end fashion designer releasing together the artistic luxury shoe as if it were the Happy Meal prize. What better way to counter the unheimlichkeit caused by this than through the homage to Wallace Stevens?

Six Years of Shoeblogging: Project Runway 4, Episode Eleven

Thursday, October 21st, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

N.B. In honor of the Manolo’s six years of shoeblogging, the Manolo has decided to repost this week some of his favorite pieces.

Back before the Project Runway, the shark did jump, the Manolo regularly commented upon the episodes of the show. Among the most popular of these comments was the fairy tale inspired by elf-like capering of Christian Siriano, who eventually won the whole contest. This post first appeared on February 15th, 2008.

Manolo says, Once upon the time, there was the poor tailor who was in danger of having his head chopped off if he did not complete the fabulously fierce outfits for the evil queen,

and her court…

…jesters, Toothy Orange Bottom and Brunhilde Valkyrie.

The tailor worked for many days without sleep, cutting and sewing, sewing and cutting. But, as the deadline approached, there were as yet fifteen yards of organza to be worked into the designs he had chosen, and the unhappy but honest tailor became worried and began to despair.

Even his acquaintance, the wise wizard who lived down the block, could only offer platitudes.

“Make it work,” said the wizard most unhelpfully, as he left the tailors shop.

“Ayyyyy!” shouted the tailor, “I am doomed. The Queen will have my head!”

The tailor collapsed into his chair near the fire, put his head in his hands, and wept the bitter, bitter tears, knowing that all was lost. After many minutes of sobbing, he fell asleep, certain that the morning would bring his execution.

It was then, while the tailor was sleeping his uneasy sleep, that the most miraculous thing happened.

First, there was the faint sound of tiny bells, followed by the strong scent of Aqua Net and Elizabeth Taylor’s “White Diamonds”, and then, with the audible pop, the tiny little fashion elf appeared out of no where!


Thirteen Ways of Looking at the Tron Shoe from Disney by Jerome Rousseau

Thursday, October 21st, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Disney's Tron Silver Sandal by Jerome Rousseau

Among twenty thousand Public Relations brains,
The only thing moving,
Was the eye of the Manolo.

He was of three minds,
Like the cottage,
In which there are three singing dwarves.

The Disney Tron Shoe whirled in the autumn winds.
It was the small part of the merchindising pantomime.

The hype and the movie
Are one
The hype and the movie and the shoe
Are one.

The Manolo did not know which to prefer,
The beauty of the shoes
Or the audacity of the idea,
The public relations chutzpah
Or silence.

PR releases filled the computer screen
With importuning shouts.
The picture of the Tron Shoe from Disney
Crossed it, to and fro.
It’s architectural beauty
Traced on the pixels
The indecipherable cause.

O thin women of New York,
Why do you not covet these silvery shoes?
Do you see how the Tron Shoe from Disney
Walks upon the feet
Of Lindsey, Kim, and Victoria?

The Manolo knows beautiful shoes,
And designers of great ability;
But he knows, too,
That the marketing people are involved
In what he knows.

When the Tron Shoe from Disney flew into view,
It marked the edge
Of one of many promotions.

At the sight of the Tron Shoe from Disney,
Appearing in the silver light
Even the bawds of Hollywood
Would cry out sharply.

The Manolo rode over Malibu
In the glass coach.
Once, the fear pierced him,
In that he mistook
The shadow of his equipage
For the Tron Shoes from Disney.

The press agents are moving,
The Tron Shoe from Disney must be promoting.

It was evening all afternoon.
It was the blizzard of branded merchandise
And it was going to continue.
The Tron Shoe from Disney sat
In the mind of the Manolo.

P.S. The Manolo’s apologies to Wallace Stevens.

Whose Shoes Wednesday…The Answer!

Thursday, October 21st, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

Lucy Ball Smoking

Manolo answers, it is the Lucille Ball!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s internet friend Marjorie for being the first to correctly identify this week classic personage of note.

And, many thanks to the Manolo’s internet friend, the Accidental Tangoiste for suggesting the Lucy as the subject.

Six Years of Shoeblogging: The Fresh Prince of Darkness

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

N.B. In honor of the Manolo’s six years of shoeblogging, the Manolo has decided to repost this week some of his favorite pieces.

This animadversion on the New York Magazine article about the Evil One, has proven to be one of the most popular posts the Manolo has ever written. It originally appeared on February 7th, 2006.

Manolo says, even from his sick bed, the Manolo he still feels impelled to rise to do battle with evil.

Look at this lengthy article in the New York Magazine, which the Manolo has annotated below for your edification. It is like the horrifying, surreal, opera buffo stage version of the Paradise Lost.

Act One, Scene One. The curtain it raises on the procession of the damned, who shuffle across the stage paying obsequious homage to the Lord of Flies.

First, the aged crones in thrall to evil..

What can one talk about while waiting for Lagerfeld? Lagerfeld, of course. “Karl has the energy of . . . what? Twenty-five thousand Turkish elephants!” says socialite Anne Slater, wearing her big blue glasses and grinning up a storm. “He’s magnetic and powerful. I think he’s absolutely, devastatingly attractive.”

Then, the young slatterns, proud of their debasement…

“Karl is a genius!” exclaims Lindsay Lohan

Next, the handmaidens of Asmodeus, eager to share their shame..

“Karl is the one person that makes me shy,” says throaty Bungalow 8 owner Amy Sacco.

Then, the greater demons, odious, cloven hooved beings who dwell in the lower rings of Hell…

Giorgio Armani, André Leon Talley, Anna Wintour with her pretty daughter, Bee. “A conversation with Karl is not a fashion conversation—it’s a conversation, a conversation that embraces the culture of life,” says Talley.

At last, the minor-key fanfare sounds the approach of Hell’s dark master. The lights dim. Low fog swirls onto the stage, and there! Suddenly! The Arch-Fiend himself!


The Visual Wit of Kobi Levi

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo says, many of the Manolo’s internet friends have been directing him to look at the whimsically unusual shoes of the Israeli designer Kobi Levi.

And so, here are the few of the Kobi Levi shoes which have greatly amused the Manolo with their visual wit.

Kobi Levi Playful Dog Shoes

Kobi Levi Slingshot Shoes

Kobi Levi Banana Slip-On Shoes

All of these shoes above delighted the Manolo, indeed, the playful dog shoes made the Manolo laugh out loud in joy.

And now, you must go see all of the Kobi Levis shoes, as these are many more than the three the Manolo has presented here.

Whose Shoes Wednesday

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo asks, whose shoes?

Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
Copyright © 2004-2009; Manolo the Shoeblogger, All Rights Reserved

Manolo Blahnik Says
"Manolo the Shoeblogger?
Sorry, not me. But it’s very
funny, isn’t it? Hilarious!”

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Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Mr. Manolo Blahnik. This website is not affiliated in any way with Mr. Manolo Blahnik, any products bearing the federally registered trademarks MANOlO®, BlAHNIK® or MANOlO BlAHNIK®, or any licensee of said federally registered trademarks. The views expressed on this website are solely those of the author.

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