Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk both exhausted and filled with candy, principally the Snickers, with the miscellaneous assortment of Skittles, Runts, Jolly Ranchers and Tootsie Rolls filling the smaller spaces in your digestive tract.
Frankly, you are agitated, your mind filled with many questions, for the example:
Query: When did the full-sized candy bar become the mark of civic generosity?
Query: Does your insistence on handing out the “Fun Size” bars of candy mean you are the bad person whose shrubbery and home should be covered in toilet paper?
Query: Were you wrong to scowl ferociously at the three hulking teenagers who came to the door late in the evening dressed as Juggalos? Did you not drop the single fun-sized Baby Ruth into each of their bulging pillowcases, despite the distaste you felt?
Query: How difficult is to get congealed egg yolk off of your automobile?
You know what it is you need now?
Look! Here is the strikingly original Chinese-basket-esqe open-toed platform ankle boots from Alexander McQueen.
Exactly what is needed to erase the bitter taste of post-Halloween shame0