Whose Shoes Wednesday…The Answer

Manolo asked, whose shoes?

Sofia Vergara Shoes

Manolo answers, it is the Sofia Vergara!

Congratulations to the Manolo’s internet friend the Katkova, who was the first to correctly identify this week’s Latina Hottie of note.

Beauty, Changing the Game, Iconicity, and the Lady Gaga

Manolo says, the Manolo has been in the ferociously interesting conversation with his internet friend Eliza Wharton about the matters of beauty, style, and what makes someone the modern icon.

Over the course of this conversation, the Manolo has stated the few of his beliefs, which he will now deliver as the set of provocative Don Colacho style aphorisms:

1. Beauty is not negotiable.

2. If you are not blessed with beauty, change the game.

3. The best way to change the game is by being very different.

4. Great beauty can make you the icon, but beauty is neither necessary nor common among icons.

****
And now, for the explications:

Beauty is not negotiable

Elizabeth Taylor, Young and Old

'Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety'... ORLY?

The rules of feminine beauty cannot be changed, no matter how much we may wish that they could be. They are as immutable and as fixed as the stars in the heavens: youth, fecundity, symmetry, and the pleasing hip-to-waist ratio.

We may try to convince ourselves that there are other standards of beauty, but such attempts are pretty lies we tell ourselves to make us feel better about our relative lack of beauty.

As cruel as they seem, such statements say nothing about our worth as individuals, or our goodness, or our merit to our family or the world.

Physical beauty is the gift given without reference to merit.

Although, it is the strange gift that inevitably dissipates with age. And one may still be compelling even into oldest age, but one should not be confused: compelling and beautiful are not the same thing. Beauty is compelling, but often the compelling is not also beautiful.
.

Gloria Swanson, Young and Old

Gloria Swanson, First Beautiful, then Compelling


.

If you are not blessed with beauty, change the game.

Barbara Streisand Yearbook Picture

Voted Least Likely to Date James Brolin

As youthful beauty fades, or was perhaps never fully present, this is where the art and magic of contriving the desirable is found.

(more…)

FEB
2011
16

Women as Blood-Thirsty Harridans

Manolo says, normally, the Manolo ignores the hundreds of press releases he receives each day, but occasionally, something will leap out at him and cause him to fear for our society.
American Suite, by Diana Sheets
Such is the case with this press release touting the new book, American Suite.

Adventure comedy with a fabulist tint – American Suite humorously challenges our notions of what it means to be American today…

Champaign, IL, February 16, 2011 – What woman didn’t laugh in amazement when Lorena Bobbit hacked off her husband’s schlong as he slept or watch in disbelief as dentist Clara Harris drove her Mercedes over her philandering husband until she knew he was dead!

Ayyyyyy!

The Manolo suspects that this introduction is the work of the misguided publicist, and not that of the author, Diana Sheets, who appears to hold the opinions that are in direct opposition to the Medea-like glee expressed above.

Whose Shoes Wednesday

Manolo asks, whose shoes?

FEB
2011
15

Interview with the Maestro Manolo Blahnik

Manolo says, from the Hemispheres Magazine comes yet more evidence that our maestro di tutti maestri, Manolo Blahnik, is perhaps the most delightful person who has ever lived.

HEMISPHERES: Was there ever any part of creating shoes that you had a hard time perfecting?

Manolo Blahnik in his pyjamas, 1973

Manolo Blahnik in his pyjamas, 1973. From A Chequered Past


BLAHNIK: I started making them with no idea of how to actually do it. A friend of mine was friends with [English designer] Ossie Clark, and he asked me, “Would you like to do shoes for my show?” The first shoes I made for that show were made of white rubber. I forgot, and they forgot, to put steel inside the rubber, so the shoes were very compromised, as you can imagine. The models walked very strangely. It was a mistake, but it looked very interesting, to me at least. It took me fifteen years to really understand shoemaking, and I’m still learning.

And this is exactly what the humble Manolo the Shoeblogger was saying in his discussions of the FN Shoe Star, that shoemaking is the wicked hard craft, something that can only be mastered with many years of assiduous study and practice.

But, wait, there is more…

HEMISPHERES: Do you follow pop culture at all? Any reality shows or bad pop music you are obsessed with?

BLAHNIK: Everything is trashy now, so it’s very difficult to choose. I used to love Hollywood, but not now. No one is powerful. The last star who was powerful was Julia Roberts. The other day I saw a girl, very pretty, short with black shoes. I said, “You look like Audrey Hepburn,” and she said, “I don’t know who that is.” I asked, “Don’t you know Sabrina? Love in the Afternoon? Breakfast at Tiff any’s?” Nothing. My hands were almost ready to push her. My staff gave me an iPad, but I’m not mad about technology. I love old-fashioned things: books, magazines. The only time I use technology is to buy movies.

HEMISPHERES: You find a lot of creative inspiration in old films.

BLAHNIK: The most beautiful thing in America is the movies. It seems sad that schools aren’t teaching fi lms as part of American education. Did you know last year in New Zealand they discovered a huge archive of old silent film prints? It’s an amazing find: a lost John Ford, early Vola Vale, actresses like Mabel Normand whom nobody knows about! Films are my life. I adore films. It’s my diet, my nourishment. I get enormous pleasure from them. Also books. I have all these books behind me right now on shelves! Very soon my family will have to come move it all to the country house, because I cannot breathe anymore. There is all this dust. Books everywhere. If there is a moment and I’m rushing and everything collapses, it will be a catastrophe.

Once again, the Maestro fully justifies our adoration!

FEB
2011
14

Gaga Egga

The Special Edition Cadbury Gaga Egg has a nutty center

'Ladies and gentlemen, excuse the interruption, but is there an alien obstetrician in the house?'

Manolo says, Worst. Easter. Ever.

FEB
2011
14

FN Shoe Star, Episode 4

Manolo says, the fourth episode of the FN Shoe Star, sponsored by the Brown Shoe Company is now available for your viewing enjoyment.

This week, we are further introduced to the six contestants, although not in the depth or complexity one would wish.

Here is what the Manolo learned: Matthew wanted to be the corporate lawyer, but fell into designing when he turned 12; Maggie has been aggressively self promoting since she left the crib; Keena’s parents were rich hippies; Hyojin has the friend; Rachel’s comes from the family of designers who have had their own television shows; and Shannon worked for Steve Madden, which would explain that boot in episode one.

In other FN Shoe Star news, the Manolo’s favorite, FN Shoe Star judge, jury and executioner, Michael Atmore, has softened his hairstyle and his manner, both things the Manolo considers the mistake. The Michael Atmore is far more interesting when he is brooding than when he attempts to enthuse over the backgrounds of the contestants. It is his Olympian qualities that appeal: his Zeus like detachment from the fate of the mortals that vie for his attention

But, watch this episode (and if you have missed them, the others) and tell the Manolo what you think.

Christian Louboutin Pigalle Plato Patent Leather Pumps For the Day of San Valentine

Manolo says, it is the Day of San Valentine and you are back at your desk thinking it is the no big deal. Although, as you say this to yourself, you know perfectly well that if your man fails to come across with the goods this evening the day will end on the note of sourness.

And what are these “goods” of which you speak?

If you were honest with yourself, you would say the absolute best would be the hand-written letter of love, in which your husband of many years produces poetry which will rival that of the Robert Herrick.

But, it seems unlikely that the same man who yesterday changed the oil on your car and then spent six hours on the couch in the basement watching college basketball, would be suddenly graced with greatness by the immortal muses.

Indeed, somewhere in the attic, secreted away in your chest of treasures, reside the examples of Gary’s previous poetic efforts, written when you were both young and in the first flush of love. As you recall, the word “forsooth” figures prominently in them.

And so, as the years have progressed, you have readjusted the definition of the “goods” downward, in inverse proportion to gifts required for the anniversary of the wedding. In anniversary terms, the first year is paper, the fiftieth is gold. In Valentine’s Day terms, the first is florid original poetry hand-written on parchment, the fiftieth is that he remembers your name as he gums his heart-shaped bowl of tapioca.

You are now at the stage midway between these two poles, which means that if Gary wishes to remain in good odor, he will fork over the large card into which he has handwritten the words “I Love You”, along with the box of decent chocolate and/or the bouquet of roses. He will then complete the evening with the dinner at the House of the Outback Steak, where he not wait for dessert to express his undying love to you, but will utter such words no latter than the moment when the remains of the Blooming Onion are cleared away.

And so it is written, and so it shall be.

Look!

Beautiful sexy red shoes from the Christian Louboutin!

Pigalle Plato Patent Leather Platform Pumps by Christian Louboutin

It is the Pigalle Plato Patent Leather Platform Pumps. Red shoes to impress the crowd at the Red Lobster!

FEB
2011
13

Teresa Iturrioz

Manolo says, she and Ibon Errazkin have been around for 25 years, but this is by far the best and most mesmerizing thing they have ever done.

FEB
2011
11

Masculinity Redefined: The Ex-Girlfriend Jean

Levis Ex-Girlfriend Jean

Manolo says, from Levis

Remember the girlfriend with the great style? Here’s a tribute to her — a fit that’s super-snug allover, an update of the five-pocket classic that’s as skinny as it gets.

The bad news is that she dumped you for the manly man who looks like the lumberjack and wears the classic 501s.

The good news is that the Levi-Strauss Company feels your pain, Emo Boy.

You know who would like these ridiculous pantaloons?

This person…

Via.

FEB
2011
11

Miley Cyrus: Modern Role Model

Miley Cyrus: Modern Role Model

Come give your Aunt Rose a kiss, hon.

Manolo says, it is 1975, and your Aunt Rose, the 52-year-old divorcee with the raspy voice, is heading out the door for her usual Friday night at the Tick-Tock Lounge: White Russians, Salem Lights, and hurried copulation in the parking lot at closing time.

P.S. The tip of the hat to the always fabulous Tom and Lorenzo.

FEB
2011
11

Manolo the Columnist: Olympia Sandal from Elie Tahari

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

Can you recommend some sexy shoes for Valentines Day? Something that will make my husband of ten years sit up and take notice?

Janice

Manolo says, the Day of San Valentine’s, it approaches! And woe be to the man who does not sit up and take the notice!

The wheels of womanly justice grind exceedingly fine, and the man who fails to make proper obeisance at the shrine of romance will be doomed to have it brought up to him, yea unto the seventh generation.

Thus, the Manolo says to the men folk, unleash your inner Fabio!

No, this does not mean to grow your hair long and go about the house with your pirate shirt undone to the navel.

In the stead, it means that you must act as if you were the brutishly sensitive hero on the cover of the novel of romanticness, one who would, on the way to consensually ravish the maiden, stop off at the florist for the bouquet of roses and the extra large box of the Russell Stover’s chocolate.

Of the course, if the lady is dressed in the proper romantic novel fashion, which the Manolo would describe with the phrase “the stays on the corset are popping loose”, the man will not even notice if she is wearing the shoes.

Here is the Olympia Sandal from Elie Tahari, the shoe with the subtly romantic sexiness that will make you feel like one of Barbara Cartland’s more wanton heroines.
Olympia Sandal from Elie Tahari