MAR
2011
21

FN Shoe Star, Episode 8

Manolo says, the eighth episode of the FN Shoe Star is now available for your viewing pleasure. This is the episode where one of the contestants, the loser of the first challenge, is sent away.

To the mind of the Manolo, this was the best episode yet, as it was mostly about the shoes the designers put forward for the competition, and free of the tiresome contrived drama that plagues the reality television shows.

The thing that the Manolo especially appreciated was that the judged discussed each shoe intelligently and sympathetically.

The Edelmans of the Brown Shoe company were predictably focused on the marketability of each shoe, and yet the Manolo did not mind this because their reasons for favoring Matthew over the others were honest and comprehensible.

And, in end it was Maggie who was given the boot, which should be counted as the stroke of luck for Shannon, whose convertible shoe was bad, very bad indeed.

And now it is on to the next challenge.

Signs That Things Are Not Well in the World

N.B. The Manolo’s friend, The Legatrix, who always makes the Manolo laugh, offers us nothing but portents of doom.

The Manolo has been gently scaring us straight with his series of blog posts, The Death of Civilization. In that spirit, I offer you a variation on a theme.

You see, I have a theory. Okay, I have several theories, but this is the one doesn’t involve Soviet vodka, rhesus monkeys, and Vaseline.

Certain fashion trends portend widespread cultural decline. I don’t care whether it comes riding in with the Visigoths or on a wave of Stagflation, nothing says “stock up on canned food and good books because the Kardashians are in charge” like bad fashion trends.

Case in point: the Bad Perm.

Julia Titi Flavia

Julia Titi Flavia

This is the kind of hair you have when your dad just sacked Jerusalem, shacked up with a Jewish Princess, and decided to fix you up with your uncle. Oh, and Rome has just been through four emperors in one year. (On the up side, none of them was Nero.)

And we all know that no good came of the Seventies except for Donna Summer. And fondue parties.

Barbara Streisand goes perm

Babs!!!!!

But lest you think the bad perm is a singularly female vice, consider Charles II of England. Sure, Chuck, you may primp that mane to make it more difficult for the executioner to find your neck, like he did your dad’s, but do you know what that coiffure really is? It’s a cry for help. London is burning, everybody is coming down with the Plague, and you’ve got more mistresses than you can possibly afford.

Charles II, By the Grace of God, King of England, Ireland, Scotland, and Jheri Curl

Odds fish what an ugly fellow I am.

At times like these, there’s only one thing to do: put on your tight pants and get a little Super Freaky.

I'm Rick James, Bitch.

Rick James has a Sexual Luv Affair for you.