MAR
2011
28

Shoe Prints in the Sand

It’s hard enough to walk in the sand barefoot. We all look silly, fumbling around like drunks or puppies who have yet to grow into their paws. And even if we put on sandals or (heaven forbid) flip-flop, the sand flies up and whips the back of our thighs causing irritation and utter annoyance. So why not make walking a bit more challenging if the payoff is that you look much more glamorous? Yes ladies, I’m talking about beach heels.

I was lucky enough to slip away from my New York duties and head to (currently somewhat) Los Angeles for the week. As my friends and I strolled down the boardwalk in Santa Monica and stumbled onto the warm sand, I couldn’t help but compile a list of my favorite potential beach heels. It goes a little something like this:


TOMS Canvas Wedges: simple, comfortable and affordable, these wedges would look great paired with a vintage 60’s bikini.


Tori Burch Wood Wedge Espadrille: the espadrille style is perfect for a warm summers day.


Chloe Cork-Wedge Slingback Mule: the lightweight cork and the adorable braided leather give the wedge a breezy boho feel.


Christian Louboutin Chus: these shoes are fun flirty and playful, like the shoe sized embodiment of splish-splash.

Give your ego (and derriere) a boost this season by adding a pair of heels to your beach attire. All you need is some confidence, focus and those wobbling baby doe legs will stride through the sand like a gazelle. (I only fell twice).

 

MAR
2011
28

Help for the Calloused Feets

Manolo says, our friend Glinda has the review of the products that will help.

MAR
2011
28

FN Shoe Star, Episode 9

Manolo says, and now the ninth episode of the FN Shoe Star is available for your viewing enjoyment. In this episode, the remaining five contestants are asked to produce the…. rocker-soled toning shoes?!?

Why should the peoples who run the FN Shoe Star stop there? Why not give each of the contestants the used steel-belted radial tire and ask them to make the Crocs knock offs?

In the first of the places, the Manolo is not convinced that simply walking around in the magic ugly shoes with the strange soles will make you fitter. (Although, now that the Manolo thinks about it, strapping the cinder blocks to the feets and clomping around all day would be quite the work out…perhaps the Manolo should seek the patent.)

And, in the second of the places, is this the contest to pick the next great young shoe designer, or is it the sort of fraternity initiation gone wrong?

“Pledges, you wish to be the shoe designers? First, chug the gallon of beer from the Sacred Boot of Manolo Blahnik. And now…you must make the stupid-looking shoe that only the dupes and the fools would wish to wear!”

Later, back in frat house dining room, Michael Atmore and the other upperclassmen, are having the good laugh.

This is the Manolo’s complaint: it is already difficult enough to make the beautiful shoes when you have unlimited access to the best materials and workmen. So, why place the unnatural constraints upon the designers, constraints which almost certainly guarantee the production of the ugly shoe?

Oh, right, it is because the American shoe-buying public is comprised mostly of the easily duped and the foolish.

FN Shoe Star peoples, let the Manolo help you…

“Designers, here is the pile of patent leather. Make the most beautiful patent leather flat you can imagine.”

See? That was easy, yes?

Alexander McQueen Samurai Strappy Sandals for the Monday

Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk agitated and annoyed by your coworkers, which, given the nature of the modern working place is not unusual.

On the one of the hands, the actual work itself would be made immediately better if most of your coworkers were magically transported back to the Jurassic Age.

On the other of the hands, you are something of the social animal. Who would you eat lunch with if not your friends Jenny and Jane? Who would bring you the gossip from the accounting department circus if not the Brenda? How would you make it through the day if Deadpan Mike did not make his hilarious quips?

And then you get out the piece of paper, draw the line down the center, and write two words at the top of the page, on the left, “Lifeboat”, and on the right, “Sharks”.

You write Jenny, Jane, Mike, Brenda, Nice Greg from IT, and six or seven more names of those who should be allowed to join you in the Dunder Mifflin corporate lifeboat.

On the right, the chum list immediately grows to unsustainable proportions, 30 names in the first instant, and growing. It is so bad that you are reduced to using the nicknames and silly descriptions because you do not even know the names of the doomed: Curly Surly Girl, Mr. Bigshot, The Dinky Dork….

And while you are engrossed in this most satisfying exercise, someone unexpectedly steps into your cubicle.

“Hey, whacha doing?”

You hurriedly flip the page over, and look over your shoulder. Oh, thank goodness. It is just the Deadpan Mike.

“Looks like a corporate restructuring,” he says.

“It was just a, er, um, um…”

“I couldn’t really see. Did I make it into the lifeboat?”

You turn the page back over and point to his name.

“Oh, good. Don’t forget to feed Frankly Fran to the sharks.”

Frankly Fran! This is why the Deadpan Mike has earned his place in the lifeboat, because he both extra observant and extra funny. Who else but Mike would have noticed that Frances the World’s Most Annoying Actuary had the verbal tick which involved starting most sentences with the word “frankly”.

And then you have the unorthodox idea that perhaps it is the aggravating people who make your job somewhat interesting, by providing fodder for amusement.

“Nah.”

Look! Ridiculously tall shoes from the Alexander McQueen…

Alexander Mcqueen Samurai Strappy Sandal

The Samurai Strappy Sandal from Alexander McQueen with the six inches heel and platform combination that is almost silly, and yet somehow compelling.