Nickelodeon Understands Great Role Models

Johnny Deoo Kids Choice 2011

Johnny Depp was a presenter over the weekend at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards and during his time on stage he proceeded to blow massive loads of green slime all over adoring children fans. Nothing wrong with that. Nope, not one bit. After all, it’s the innocence and naivety of children’s television shows and stars that make a rather suggestive act perfectly acceptable.

Right?

For example, take a look at teen star Taylor Momsen posing on the red carpet at the Kids Choice Awards:

Taylor Momsen Kids Choice 2011
The 17 year old starlet, also a presenter at the awards show, showed up looking appropriately bright eyed and innocent for the underage event. With her thick heavy black eyeliner, trashy extensions, and passive air of nonchalance, she is a prefect role model for today’s youth. The leather jacket and flimsy white tank work well with her black skinny jeans to construct a classic vampire-stripper-off-duty look. And the peeping fishnets that lead into those patent platforms are fit for a Suicide Girl.  Why, she’s a glowing gem that any pre-teen hunk would love to bring home to mom.

In all seriousness, I’m just pleased that she put on a pair of pants for once.

The typical Momsen ensemble almost always includes a garter belt, some sort of corset top and platform heels. The fact that this look is considered “classing it up” for her is simply disturbing. People are commending her for this “improvement” whereas I just think she needs to be grounded until she gets an attitude adjustment. She is 17! And her fans are probably younger!

It’s teen stars like this that make Rebecca Black seem like a very viable option for the spotlight.

8 Responses to “Nickelodeon Understands Great Role Models”

  1. Dani April 7, 2011 at 10:40 am #

    Green slime flinging is standard operating procedure during Nickelodeon programming, and Depp is one of the few stars out there that I wouldn’t mind flinging it on my kid- if he liked Nickelodeon programming, which fortunately, he doesn’t. The programming is what’s second-class in this instance, not the star.

    One time Depp showed up in costume at a primary school after a little fan of his wrote him a letter asking him to help her stage a “mutiny”. While he makes silly political statements from time to time- as celebrities are wont to do- as a person, kids could do worse than to emulate him.

    As for Taylor Momsen, she looks like all the other little tramps out there. Frankly, I can’t tell them apart any more.

  2. Nariya April 7, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    I don’t see the problem with the green slime thing. Any “suggestiveness” from green slime would have gone waaay over my head when I was a kid, and frankly, I don’t even really see it now, any more than I see a garden hose as being suggestive. It’s kind of a stupid idea, but if any kid’s getting some kind of inappropriate vibe from it, I’d really question what else the kid has been looking at lately. Depp’s not a perfect role model, but he’s composed, rarely embarrasses himself in public, has a good family, and is very successful at what he does. Fair enough.

    Regarding Taylor Momsen– after a brief poll, my 12-to-15-year-old little cousins and niece either respond, “who’s that?” or “eww”. It seems that they, too, don’t have a problem identifying her as not-role-model-material. Phew!

  3. Bronwyn April 7, 2011 at 2:59 pm #

    I second the other two commenters. Anyone who thinks green slime hosing is suggestive needs to examine their own psyche. Kids love that sort of thing.

  4. Banana April 7, 2011 at 3:59 pm #

    Sometimes a garden hose full of green slime just is a garden hose full of green slime.
    And I, personally, congratulate Taylor Momsen for being fully dressed in front of a camera the first time in at least a year, maybe even longer. Maybe the little girl is growing up.

  5. erik nabler April 7, 2011 at 5:41 pm #

    Green slime is emblematic of kids. Just this morning my five month old sneezed and it pretty much looked like the Johnny Depp pic. Johnny Depp says some stupid things, but I will give him full respect for visiting the hospital that saved his daughters life and giving them a million pound donation. He did it quietly and secretively, with paparazzi or fanfare. Just sincere gratitude. He also later visited the same hospital in full Jack Sparrow pirate garb to entertain sick children. That kind of attitude from a Hollywood celebrity brings a tear to my eye. He and John Cena, the wrestler, are two celebrities with good hearts, even if some of their other attitudes leave a bit to be desired.

  6. Bridey April 8, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

    Taylor Momsen is merely revolting, poor kid. I can’t imagine who could possibly find this kid sexy. She has planted her flag firmly in Camp TryingTooD**nHard.

    (And “suggestive”? Seriously? Eeesh.)

  7. Helen@leather baby shoes April 11, 2011 at 10:26 am #

    I don’t see anything remotely suggestive about slime!

  8. Sharon April 15, 2011 at 1:42 am #

    Lol slime is not suggestive..

    However, doesnt really do anything for me.