Snooki’s Fashion Accessory: Attention

Following her incident with an Italian police car yesterday, nugget sized Snooki of deplorable MTV Jersey Shore “fame” was photographed today wearing a neck brace to accompany her hideous ensemble and unfortunately she couldn’t find one big enough to cover her entire face and body.

Snookie neck brace

Snooki and her co-star Deena got into a minor traffic accident on the streets of Florence, which shockingly according to police reports involved no alcohol. Snookie was apparently driving a vehicle (sitting on what I can only assume was a child’s booster seat, seeing as I find it hard to believe she could see above the steering wheel) and rear ended a police car in front of them that was escorting the talented and fame worthy celebrities to their filming destination. While there was no arrests made and the two suffered no injuries, Snookie decided to play it up today with the addition of a neck brace. BUT only for the cameras. Snookie reportedly removed the neck brace between takes, because I can only assume when you fake an injury it’s annoying to wear  supportive medical supplies.

Snookie removes neck brace

But let’s face it, the real crime here (other than the fact Snooki is in the public eye at all) are her fuzzy Ugg boots. They make her look like some sort of pudgy show poodle that desperately needs to be put down. The fact that those things are allowed to be sold and worn in public is a true tragedy. Not to mention the function of providing warmth is completely null and void seeing as it is currently warm in Italy! Wearing them isn’t even practical, thus, there is no excuse. If she is going to get away with a fender bender and causing minor injuries to two police officers, she at least needs to be arrested or fined for committing rape against my eyes.

9 Responses to “Snooki’s Fashion Accessory: Attention”

  1. Betsy June 2, 2011 at 6:24 pm #

    UGGGG is right.

  2. icecoaster June 2, 2011 at 7:42 pm #

    I’m afraid I’m actually thinking of getting a pair of Uggs, but in my defence only for indoor wear and only because I’m moving to the Arctic Circle.

  3. The gold digger June 3, 2011 at 10:39 am #

    Icecoaster, fashion really does stop mattering when it’s 30 below.

    • icecoaster June 7, 2011 at 8:05 pm #

      This is what I’m thinking. While I’d rather be sporting some Zanottis, I’ll stick with anything that will save me from frostbite. I’ve already ordered a Thuggie in pinstripes, for officewear.

  4. Michelle June 3, 2011 at 10:45 pm #

    @The gold digger – yes you’re right… I live in Winnipeg and I see daily evidence that fashion does, in fact, cease to matter to many people when the temperature drops:(

    …as much of a train wreck as Snookie is, I have to admit, I love Jersey Shore for the non-related-to-me drama of it all!

    • shel June 4, 2011 at 10:38 am #

      Could it be possible to write this (much deserved) critique of Snookums without bringing up rape?

      • Joe June 4, 2011 at 6:29 pm #

        What has happened to the Manolo’s commentariat? Shall we abandon the English language altogether, to preserve the ultra-tender sensibilities of a few?

        I just don’t get it.

        Joe

  5. Erik Nabler June 5, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

    Might I suggest “the non-consensual use of my eyes for their own gratification (and ratings).”

  6. tioedong June 8, 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    the fuzzy top boots are useful for gardening in areas with fireants, since they can’t climb up through all that fur.