Manolo says, it is Monday and you are back at your desk slaving away for man, the weekend the fast fading memory.
Sadly, most of these weekends are not even worth remembering, given over as they are to the demands of the lawn care, and the house care, and the car care, and the laundry care, and all of the niggling little cares that weigh down the suburban homeowner.
It was not always thus. Once, when you and Gary were first married, you had the romantic dreams of walk-up flats in Paris and long trips to the Greek isles, where you would squeeze the juice out of life together.
Now, on the Saturdays, it is up early and off to the garden store, where you spend several hours shopping for the new edge-trimmers, and the pesticides, and the black spot resistant roses, which is sad because neither of you really enjoy the gardening.
Then, as you are heading out, you notice that Gary has gotten busy loading hundred-pound bags of colored stone (mostly reds and blues) onto your shopping cart.
“What are you doing,” you ask.
“Xeriscape!” shouts Gary, “We need to xeriscape the whole damn thing. Front yard, back yard, side yards. Hell, xeriscape the living room.”
“What are you talking about?’
“Low-maintenance, low-water landscaping. Xeriscaping. Saw it is Sunset while I was waiting at the oil change place. Tear up the whole yard, lay down colored stone and plant cactuses. Prickly pears, and barrel cactuses, and maybe some giant saguaro.”
“Gary, honey,” when he gets like this you have to gently talk him down, “we live in Ohio.”
It is moments like this that make you realize that shoes are nature’s own Prozac.
Look, what could be more soothing and satisfying than strappy suede sandals from the Maestro Manolo Blahnik?
You know, maybe some colored rocks in the side yard aren’t such the bad idea.