Manolo says, it is Tuesday, only the second week of November, and already you feel as if you have been sucked into the annual holiday season whirlpool; swirling, swirling, swirling around the giant vortex of seasonal merriment and angst. Any second, you will be dragged down below the surface of normality by the combined forces of heirloom turkeys, two kinds of stuffing, homemade pies, Black Friday shopping, nativity pageants at the church, and the Santy Claus.
You will struggle valiantly against it, but it is inevitable. Your holiday fate is sealed.
One minute all will be normal, and the next, as sanity leaves your body, you will be frantically searching for the silver nonpareils to adorn the twenty dozen Xmas-tree-shaped cookies you have vowed to bake for the firemen who extinguished Gary’s Camero last year.
No, you do not need to bake these cookies. Undoubtedly, the fireman at the station are still enjoying some of the 20 dozen cookies you delivered last year.
“But, it’s now a tradition,” you say to no one in particular, “every year since 2010 we’ve baked cookies for the firemen.”
And, this is the strongest evidence that you are in the center of the holiday vortex, when time and space warp. Things that appear insane to those standing outside the vortex, seem perfectly normal to those aswirl in the center.
“I think I’ll volunteer to make all the costumes for the Nativity pageant,” you announce to the candy novelties in the baking aisle as the supermarket, “I know where to find real goose feathers for the angel wings.”
No. You do not know where to find real goose feathers for the angel wings. And it is utter madness to think that you do.
“Wouldn’t it be great if the whole family dressed in the same pajamas on Christmas morning,” you say to the steering wheel, “I bet I can find something on sale at the Big Lots.”
Look, in your final moments of sanity… gorgeous boots!
The Ferruccia Suede Knee High Boots from the B. Brian Atwood. Gorgeous and not at all insane.0