Shoe Personalities: Phluff Daddy from O’Neill

N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoe tell us much about the wearer

Phluff Daddy from O'Neill

The Phluff Daddy from O’Neill, $18.

Your name is Kenny. Not Kenneth, Kenny, and you own only four pairs of the long pants, two of them blue jeans.

Your best friend in the whole world is the chocolate lab named Bo, who wears the red bandanna around his neck, limps from the little bit of doggy arthritis, and is the sort of chick magnet (although he seems to mostly draw only single-mom divorcees who work in diners, and college girls studying recreation science).

You spend most of your time riding your mountain bike around town, reading undergraduate philosophy books, or hanging out at the indie coffee shop downtown, talking to college girls who are studying recreation science.

You’re 36-years-old and you’ve never left this town. Why should you? You were born here, went to school here, and graduated from college here (English, ’98). You even live in the tiny, two-bedroom house your grandmother left you up in the Avenues, stretching out that legacy into infinity (if you can keep your expenses down).

Some mornings, while you’re eating your bacon and eggs in the harvest-yellow kitchen with the avocado green stove, you look at the newspaper and think that maybe you should sell that house and get out of that town.

But then Bo hobbles in and puts his nose on your bare leg beneath your cargo shorts, and you think “Not yet, boy. Now while you’re still around.”

4 Responses to “Shoe Personalities: Phluff Daddy from O’Neill”

  1. Lisa from SoCal June 25, 2012 at 7:43 pm #

    The Lisa finds she rather likes the Kenny. Like Gary, he sounds like the good egg, even if he does not have all the ambition to go go go and do do do that Americans are supposed to have. And what’s wrong with recreation science? NOTHING. The Lisa approves of recreation very much, particularly if it is scientifical.

  2. The formerly shoe-obsessed Wayne June 25, 2012 at 8:44 pm #

    The Kenny can also be found at an Occupy gathering, protesting against the 1%, failing to realize that his own choices put him in the other 99%.

  3. Lisa June 25, 2012 at 11:45 pm #

    Oh my gosh, I know the perfect woman for Kenny. It’s definitely not me, though.

  4. Athena June 27, 2012 at 2:35 pm #

    Thank you, Manolo.