N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoes tell us much about the wearer…

The Zuden-6 from Miss Me?, $39.99.

Manolo says, hi, you’re Courtney, and you are originally from Alabama, from like this little town halfway between Cullman and Gadsden, and you were the salutatorian of your high school class, but now, at Vandy, that doesn’t really count for much.

You know, it is just these sorority girls from Atlanta, who all have the blonde hair and drive BMWs. That, or acerbic Northern girls with dark hair, from places you’ve never heard of in New Jersey and Connecticut, who always seem despondent but aren’t.

You really, really, really tried to fit in last year, but it was super hard. Let me tell you, those sorority girls spend money. When the Nordstroms opened at Green Hills, the Tri-Delts were lined up around the block, like it was the new cupcake store, or something.

So, in November, you saved up the little bit from what Momma and Daddy send you each month, and you bought some new clothes for the Rush Week, this sort of reddish patterned dress from Forever 21, and these shoes, which look vaguely like what some of the girls were wearing last fall.

You knew weren’t going to get into TriDelt or Kappa Kappa Gamma, because, you know, that’s crazy talk. A) Daddy is the soybean farmer, not the banker, and B) despite what your PawPaw says, you are not “the most beautiful sugar lump in the whole wide world,” especially not since you put on ten of the freshman fifteen.

But, you thought you had the good chance at one of the other houses.

You didn’t, not really.

It was probably the shoes, you know, they weren’t that comfortable, and they actually weren’t what the other girls were wearing by January.

Strangely, you were not as upset about not being asked back as you thought you would be. Your classes went really well last year, and you had the great summer back home. You lost some weight, and two weeks at the Gulf Shoes put highlights in your hair and freckles on your face, which you think look cute.

This year should be great, right?