The Fun Never Stops at the Playboy Mansion

By Manolo the Shoeblogger

Manolo says, the twitter stylings of the Ancient Mariner of Lust, Hugh Hefner


Ebrius, ecce, senex pando Silenus asello
Vix sedet, et pressas continet ante iubas.
Dum sequitur Bacchas, Bacchae fugiuntque petuntque
Quadrupedem ferula dum malus urget eques,
In caput aurito cecidit delapsus asello:
Clamarunt satyri ‘surge age, surge, pater.’


7 Responses to “The Fun Never Stops at the Playboy Mansion”

  1. Charlotte Allen Says:

    Behold, the drunken old Silenus scarcely holds his seat
    On his broad-beamed donkey; he clings to his position by tightly holding onto its mane.
    While he chases the Bacchae, the Bacchae flee and attack
    His beast with a stick, while its maladroit rider presses on.
    Having slid off his donkey, he fell onto his head.
    The satyrs shouted, “Get up and do it, father, get up!”

  2. Manolo the Shoeblogger Says:

    Te quoque, inextinetae Silene libidinis, urunt
    nequitia est, quae te non sinit esse senem..

  3. Charlotte Allen Says:

    inextinetae = inextinctae? You know Ovid by heart?

    They burn you, too, Silenus, whose lust is never extinguished.
    It is because of your wickedness, which does not permit you to grow old.

    I forgot to translate “aurito” above: “long-eared”

    I think that the donkey that this particular Silenus rides is named Viagra.

  4. Manolo the Shoeblogger Says:

    The Manolo does not have the Ovid by heart (his recitation abilities run more to Herrick and Mutanabbi). Your translation, dear Charlotte, is almost exact. All the Manolo would do is return to the poem and find that the antecedent of the “They” is referring to the “Nymphs” or “Bacchae” who usually accompany Silenus. As in the James Frazer translation of this line:

    Thou too, Silenus, burnest for the nymphs, insatiate lecher!
    ‘Tis wantonness alone forbids thee to grow old.

    Of course, the Silenus = Hef metaphor is strained and inapt, for Old Silenus is the drunken wise fool, the figure of merriment. As far as the Manolo can tell, Hefner is simply the old fool.

  5. Charlotte Allen Says:

    Since I don’t know the poem (I’m weak on Ovid, not having read him since high school dabbling in the Metamorphoses), I couldn’t figure out what the antecedent–and hence the “they” that is the subject of “urunt”–was. I thought it might be some sort of reference to fleshly desires. You are right about Silenus vs. Hef. Silenus is comical (and probably quite aware of that fact), whereas Hef has no sense of humor, or even a sense of joy, so there is something ghastly about his pajama-clad appearance with that lovely young thing (who herself looks quite inanimate, like a doll, because that is probably the best way for her to endure putting up with Hef). Hef was not always this way. Somewhere on the net I came across some letters he had written to his high school sweetheart that were illustrated with his droll drawings of himself and his classmates and teachers. The drawings were sweet, funny, and chaste. There is something to be said for the idea of lust as one of the seven deadly sins; it corrupts and ultimately destroys what is innocent and good.

  6. Rondi Says:

    I studied four years of high school Latin and am pretty good at “Caecilius est in horto,” or “Canis in via latrat.” (o:
    As for Hef, the whole reason I follow him on Twitter is that he cheers me up: when everyone else is tweeting about politics and anger and dreadful headlines, Hef is having cocktails by the pool with Mandy and Crystal or enjoying the Friday night movie at the Mansion. Respite from Twitter turmoil.

  7. Gra w piłkarzyki - czy pamiętasz z dzieciństwa? Says:

    Awesome and intriguing…

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