Shoe Personalities: Trinkletina from Irregular Choice

N.B. Psychologists have proven what we already know, shoes tell us much about the wearer

Trinkletina from Irregular Choice

The Trinkletina from Irregular Choice, $145.

Manolo says, your life really changed for the better when you finally got enough money to have the full sleeve tattoo on your left arm colored in. Yes, it hurt like crazy for more than two weeks, but now all these cute young guys with mustaches and fedoras are giving you compliments on it.

It is of the geisha riding a Chinese-style dragon, wielding the broad sword, and looking very kick ass. You have named the geisha, “Trixie”, because you secretly wish that was your name, or at the least, your nickname. Trixie is so much cooler than “Jessica”.

If you had to characterize your style, you would say it was “eclectic-retro”, although it is not really that easy to find the 1940s clothing in your size (most of those girls were so tiny back then), so you mix and match, which is why you thought these shoes were so fun.

When asked, you admit to being 29, or “29 and one half” if you are being funny, but you have to be careful not to mention that you graduated from high school in 1997, because then people will do the addition in their heads. In your darker moments, when you’re alone in your tiny studio apartment, you realize this is sort of like how you call yourself the “mixologist”, when you’re really just the bartender who just pops open the cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon and pours the shots of Jamesons.

That is how you met your last boyfriend, “Loser Bob”, who was the sort of free-lance bicycle repairman and scrap metal collector. Going with him for nearly two years was not the best decision you ever made.

But these shoes, wearing them really cheers you up.

5 Responses to “Shoe Personalities: Trinkletina from Irregular Choice”

  1. Nancy August 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm #

    Dear Manolo,

    1. HOW did you find these shoes!
    2. What a sad tale … Maybe someone giving Jessica a different pair of shoes could be transformative, like the silk stockings in Kate Chopin’s short story.
    3. Are those heels transparent? If so, can we add water and little live goldfish?
    4. DID YOU SEE (a) the secret message inside the shoe (“Mutiny”) and the indescribable bottoms of the soles?!

  2. marvel August 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm #

    I would like to see the shoes of happy people, please.

  3. Bronwyn August 14, 2012 at 8:55 pm #

    The Irregular Choice shoes are supposed to be very comfortable. I have not tried any, most are too bright for me, but I do yearn for these ones http://www.schuh.co.uk/womens-black-and-gold-irregular-choice-whimsical-miaow-ankle/1403907920 and/or these ones http://www.schuh.co.uk/womens-beige-and-brown-irregular-choice-iced-gem-abigail-leopard/1461036360
    What do they say about me, I wonder?

  4. Lisa August 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    Cool for Christmas! But I’m not so sure about the heels and those blings… @ Brownwyn Yay, I like that Iced Gem Abigail Leopard Boots!

  5. raincoaster August 15, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

    This story reminds me of that girl Emily from The Next Food Network Star. She was Quirky! And Spontaneous! And Different!

    Yeah, as different as every other “retro-fabulous” rockabilly moll wannabe, and as spontaneous as a NASA rocket launch.

    But the shoes are adorable.