Meet Miss Plumcake

To begin at the beginning.

Wait, no, that’s a little too much Dylan Thomas for the first day back after a long weekend, but it’s as good a place as any to start. Like Dylan Thomas, I am a writer full of whisky and Welsh blood, though not in such high concentrations. Unlike Dylan Thomas, I am both alive and sober, though it’s not quite noon and I’ve yet to make plans for the day.

I’m Miss Plumcake, writer, editor and long-suffering troll starvation expert at Manolo for the Big Girl.

Lured by the siren songs of lithe footballers, cheap wine and easily-obtained pharmaceuticals, I left my newspaper job in Austin, Texas for the hidden beaches of Mexico where I reside in occasionally sunburned splendor with my dog and my boyfriend.

The Manolo, in his infinite kindness and unerring good taste, has invited me to post here twice a week, and I –not being half so dumb as I look– hastily accepted.

That leaves me with the problem of introducing myself.

I think most introductions are a mistake because they start too well.

If you start out with “This is Miss Plumcake, she won the Nobel Prize in Physics” (which I haven’t, although I did pack for two weeks in Ireland using nothing but my Birkin and a cream alligator overnight bag) the bar is set prohibitively high.

On the other hand, if you start out with “This is Miss Plumcake, she was dropped on her head repeatedly as a child” people will be impressed and amazed at my ability to tie my shoes and conjugate verbs. Everybody wins.

With that in mind, here is an extremely abbreviated history of my questionable decisions:

  • I wore Wet n’ Wild screaming purple lipstick all through 8th grade. Mrs Cheeseman told me it didn’t go with my complexion. Mrs Cheeseman also made us wrap masking tape around our fingers and pick lint off her skirt, so it’s not like her judgement was flawless either.

not going to happen

  • I was much older than I’d like to admit before I realized my first crush –that freckled cartoon Norwegian from A-Ha’s Take On Me video– would probably not come to fruition. See Also: getting to marry Axl Rose in a mullet wedding gown a la Stephanie Seymour (filed under Bullet, Dodged)
  • I not only bought, but unironically wore a gold lamé toreador outfit, complete with black satin stretch capris and bugle beads. The nineties were a dark time. A dark, dark, glittery time.
  • I accidentally set the oldest Episcopal church west of the Mississippi on fire ten days before Christmas (it’s okay now.)
  • I just bought a pair of white shoes…AFTER Labor Day

(the oddly-named Stuart Weitzman “Geek” available for almost 40% off)

9 Responses to “Meet Miss Plumcake”

  1. wildflower September 4, 2012 at 2:33 pm #

    Why, Miss Plumcake, to know that even more of your writing and wisdom are on the horizon is a treat indeed!

    • Miss Plumcake September 4, 2012 at 2:36 pm #

      Why, Wildflower, your check for the agreed upon amount is in the imaginary mail!

  2. Sarah R September 4, 2012 at 2:47 pm #

    I was embarrassingly old when I realized that my crush on Captain Kirk would probably never work, either. It was several more years before I came to the conclusion that a crush on Spock would have the same problems. I was also dropped several times as a child.

    Such a pleasure to meet you!

  3. lucy September 4, 2012 at 2:51 pm #

    Yay! I’m happy to see you here. Now I’ll be reading both blogs.

  4. Lisa in SoCal September 4, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

    Horray..I love the white shoes. Perfect for strolls.

  5. Leah September 4, 2012 at 3:20 pm #

    More Miss Plumcake is ALWAYS a good thing. Glad to see you appearing on The Manolo’s page as well. :-D

  6. marvel September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm #

    I would be very surprised to discover than any regular reader of the Manolosphere would require an introduction to Miss Plumcake!

    Though if you are answering nosy questions by way of continuing the introduction, I have often wondered at the origin of your chosen pseudonym.

  7. Rebelle September 5, 2012 at 10:42 am #

    Enjoyed this post!

    White shoes after Labor Day – I love it. Let’s break the rules.

  8. Carol September 6, 2012 at 3:53 pm #

    I fondly remember swooning over Morten Harket in A-Ha’s Take On Me video. I recently did an image search after something made me think of it and found he still looks hot!

    http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/500/419045/Morten+Harket.jpg