First of all, I’m not going to brag or anything, but I am typing this while getting a foot rub. This is unusual for two reasons: one, because I stopped letting people touch my feet after I caught my longtime pedicurist discussing my particular toe situation and bandying about the phrase “pterodactyl” with a bit more ease than I found comforting. Second because I can rarely be called upon to do two things at once, especially if one of those things involves lotion and a lithe Latin athlete. It’s a miracle I can even type coherently. Still, it’s important to…