Ask Miss Plumcake: Horsey Shoes

First of all, I’m not going to brag or anything, but I am typing this while getting a foot rub.

This is unusual for two reasons: one, because I stopped letting people touch my feet after I caught my longtime pedicurist discussing my particular toe situation and bandying about the phrase “pterodactyl” with a bit more ease than I found comforting. Second because I can rarely be called upon to do two things at once, especially if one of those things involves lotion and a lithe Latin athlete. It’s a miracle I can even type coherently.

Still, it’s important to branch out, and in that vein, superfantastic reader Annie has queried yours truly for a bit of styling advice:

Annie writes:

An Irish tweed jacket, wide wale corduroy pants, scrunchy turtleneck. I’m trying to pull off a vaguely horsey look, a far cry from my usual style. But what to put on my feets? Please help.

Dearest Annie,

Thank you for providing an excellent opportunity to differentiate between fashion and costume. The obvious choice would be riding boots. They’re incredibly trendy and appropriate for a horsey look. However, that errs a little on the side of costumey or, as fashion people would say, “literal.”

Sure it’s cute, but it’s boring and not very good fashion.

Instead, let me suggest a slightly whimsical brogue like the Joyce English Brogue from Dr. Martens.

Stay with me now.

A literal interpretation of a look can be predictable at best, but a little lateral thinking can keep the focus without looking like you’re dressed up AS something.

When I think horsey and tweed, I think British, and then I think British eccentric, which a fantastic combination of ultra classic conservative with a little bit of restrained kookiness for good measure. The tiny floral print which would be twee on a more feminine shoe (and looks way cuter on the foot than the screen) adds a bit of quirky interest without Deschaneling it to death. You know what I mean by Deschaneling right? like “HELLO HAVE YOU NOTICED I AM QUIRKY, WHICH IS BASICALLY THE SAME AS ANNOYING BUT WITH STRIP LASHES.” man, I couldn’t be more over that nonsense if I had a pole vault and a jet pack. Blinking is not a skill set,  Zooey.

Thanks for writing in, Annie!

Gin and Tonics,

Miss Plumcake

If you have a styling question for Miss Plumcake, put it in the comments or email me at [email protected].  You might get your query featured right here on the blog!