The Keen: At Least It Keeps the Man Toes Covered.

The Keen Newport

Manolo says, since the Manolo has recently been talking about the popular brands of the comfort shoes, perhaps it time to consider the monstrosity that is the Keen.

One can go no where now without one’s senses being assaulted by these shoe-like things on the feets of the adult males who should know better.

“Oooh, I am so sporty and with-it,” smugly and silently says the wearer, “I’ve got these super-hip outdoorsy sport sandals on my feet. When I wear these shoes I feel like I’m ‘shredding’ it with my ‘homies’. I look like I’m an X-Game’s athlete, don’t I?”

To which the Manolo silently replies, “No, you are the middle-aged dork whose choice of feetwear befouls the public space with its ugliness, thus proving the tragedy of the commons. Also, riding your $2,500 mountain bike on the paved paths at the park is not ‘shredding it’, no matter what the other members of your Fantasy Football league say.”

Still, the Manolo has to admit that the Keens, unlike the mandals, cover the unsightly middle-aged man toes, the small favor for which we are not especially thankful.

2 Responses to “The Keen: At Least It Keeps the Man Toes Covered.”

  1. Tara August 9, 2013 at 1:55 pm #

    Oh dear. In a concerted effort to keep my weight down and lose weight (halfway to my goal!), I have been walking 3-5 miles each day. That includes walking as my commute to work. I have found the Keen women’s shoes quite comfy. Plus they have the support for my high arches and are made for hiking. And, since I can wear jeans to work, I wear them at work (public library).

    Oh dear.

    • Linds August 23, 2013 at 5:58 pm #

      That’s okay, Tara. I have a closet full of shoes The Manolo would leap up and cheer for (Manolo Blahnik patent Maryjanes, anyone?), but in the closet they shall stay for the time being. Ever since I moved to a small town in the Rockies, I can’t wear my fancy beauties without breaking a heel or an ankle. As entertaining as The Manolo is, I doubt he writes for the actually-sporty set, especially those that live with steep hills and gravel paths and driveways and snow 7 months out of the year. So, it shames me to say, my Keens and a couple pairs of equally-ugly-but-functional snow boots are my footwear of choice now. Sigh… :D