Manolo the Columnist: Sable from Belle by Sigerson Morrison

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column from the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

I’ve just read that all the cool kids are wearing Birkenstocks again. Is it wrong that I’m tempted to join them? Please advise.

Debra

Manolo says, this where the Manolo wishes that his computer keyboard had the Grumpy Cat key, which he could push whenever he needed the strongly worded “NO!” to appear on the page. Unfortunately, his computing machine does not have this very useful function, and thus he will have to make his opinions known by plain metaphor:

The Birkenstocks are to the other shoes what the haywagon drawn by donkeys wearing battered straw hats is to the Ferrari Testarossa, which is to say that if you do not mind looking like someone who should be driving the 19th century manure spreader to work each morning, then by all the means, wear the Birkenstocks.

Alternately, if you are the sort of person who enjoys having the people who buy all of their clothing at the Dollar General Factory Outlet Store look down their noses at your poor fashion sense, you should consider the Birkenstocks.

In the other words, if you regard your feet as hateful appendages worthy of being ridiculed by strangers, then the Birkenstocks are the shoe-like things for you.

The Manolo says, even though it is still roasting hot outside, it is now the Fall season of shopping, and thus if one can safely ignore the Birkenstocks for the next few months. With good fortune, by the spring of 2014, this mania will have subsided. In the meantime, here is the Sable from Belle by Sigerson Morrison, the versatile transitional flat that will take you into the new season.

Sable from Belle by Sigerson Morrison

17 Responses to “Manolo the Columnist: Sable from Belle by Sigerson Morrison”

  1. marjorie August 23, 2013 at 11:33 am #

    oh manolo! i so loved the haywagon-lugging donkeys/ferrari comparison and was all set to share this with my birk-loving and birk-loathing friends, until i got to the mocking of the dollar-store shoppers. snarking at the fashion sense of the poor is beneath you, sir.

    • Anonymous August 23, 2013 at 4:55 pm #

      Ok then, wear some birkenstocks and make the poor feel richer.

      • Pantofi September 7, 2013 at 11:11 pm #

        Lol “_

  2. Swen Swenson August 23, 2013 at 2:47 pm #

    But if you must wear Birkenstocks please, PLEASE don’t forget the gray wool socks. The gray wool socks are as much a part of the timeless academic uniform as the Birkenstocks, they hide your unshaven legs and unclipped yellow toenails.

  3. steve August 23, 2013 at 2:51 pm #

    Nice little rant,emphasis on little. M, birks will be here long after your hacks at fashion are long gone and forgotten. You are lucky most women are not smart enough to realize that what passes for fashion is just gay men playing jokes on them seeing what they can get them to wear. As evidenced by the above picture.

  4. The Cosmic Ray August 23, 2013 at 4:16 pm #

    Indeed, the Steve has the point. The Birkenstocks will be here many millions of years after the super fantastic Manolo has passed to reap the heavenly reward. Much like the cockroaches are the Birkenstocks.

  5. willis August 23, 2013 at 4:58 pm #

    Sir, do you have any birkinstock?
    No, sorry, we through them all away, would you like some bark, we have bark in stock.

  6. Timmy August 23, 2013 at 10:44 pm #

    These shoes are made for stomping. And that’s just what they do.

    One of these days these shoes are gonna stomp all over you.

  7. Timmy August 23, 2013 at 10:44 pm #

    Nancy Sinatra.

  8. toadold August 24, 2013 at 1:04 am #

    Birkenstocks a vile style worn by impolite and contemptuous people lacking in manners, morals, or any sense of politeness.
    Of course Birkenstocks carry their own punishment since they identify those who wear them as non-serious people who should not be trusted around money or children.
    Harsh Words to follow.

  9. PacRim Jim August 24, 2013 at 6:51 am #

    Socks and Birkenstocks were to the 1980s as elbow patches were to the 1950s:
    The badge of the goofy grad student.

  10. MikeW August 24, 2013 at 7:23 am #

    I confess to being a B-wearer; but I have an excuse: these are the only sandals I can get with built-in arch-supports, which I must have. I only wear them in summer, with shorts. Moreover, if it’s any consolation, I never douse myself with patchouli. I have some dignity.

  11. Amy August 24, 2013 at 10:09 am #

    Birkenstocks are horrible. They wrecked my gait (even though I haven’t worn them in 10 years I still have a tendency to walk on my heels that I didn’t have before Birks), and are seriously, seriously overpriced, especially considering what they look like.

    But the worst thing about them is they make your feet sweat. *Sandals* that make your feet sweat! LOL When they are new this means the brown from the suede stains the soles of your feet. Terribly hard to get off when you want to wear other sandals.

    Then over time the repeatedly sweat-soaked suede develops an odor. My athletic shoes have NEVER smelled as bad as my Birkenstocks! It got to the point where if I wore them, I wouldn’t pull my feet out of them in public because I was afraid others could smell the funky suede. If you ask me, the stereotype of the “smelly hippy” is due in no small part to the malodorous, ubiquitous Birkies adopted by that particular subculture.

    So, like the Manolo, I, too, hate the Birkenstocks. I wish the Birkenstock legend would die and put us all out of its misery. To liken them to donkeys pulling a hay wagon is an insult to donkeys! The only good thing about them is that they almost never fall apart. The two pairs I had were over 10 years old, heavily worn, and still intact when I wised up and finally chucked them. The only thing that kept me wearing them as long as I did was that I couldn’t bring myself to “waste” a couple of $120 pairs of shoes that were still in wearable condition. I guess the longevity is the basis for the legend, cuz it sure ain’t from anything else good about these turds masquerading as footwear.

  12. Lisa August 26, 2013 at 11:36 am #

    This is one of those, I’ll pay rent later moments.

  13. vouchers uk September 4, 2013 at 4:20 am #

    How much is this pair?

    • Pantofi September 7, 2013 at 11:10 pm #

      This pair is 195$

  14. Anonymous September 5, 2013 at 10:30 pm #

    I like the Birkenstock Gizeh style for style and comfort.