Manolo the Columnist: Laurance Cage Sandals from Christians Louboutin

Dear Manolo,

Not only is weather here abominable, but worse my boyfriend won’t be able to get back from Atlanta in time for Valentine’s Day. Can you please, please suggest some shoes that will cheer me up.

Monica

Manolo says, just the mere two weeks ago, the Manolo was mocking the apocalyptic prognostications of the weather people, and now, ayyyyy! The real Snowpocalypse his finally here! And now, the Manolo is regretting his insouciance.

Although, one must admit that it that the current situation is very much like the fairy tale of the Weatherboy who cried Winter Storm Wolf. If every little flurry of flakes is greeted with the shouts of panicked trepidation, then when the real storms of ice arrive we all be out on the roads, where we will encounter the fellow drivers who have only recently arrived from exotic places such as Equatorial Guinea and Miami, where ice is merely theoretical.

At that point, after you have abandoned your car in the ditch along side the road and are trudging home through three miles of ice and snow in your flip-flops, because you had rushed out at the last minute to buy the extra feathers for your down comforter, you will be drawing up elaborate plans of revenge on the entire class of weather people, involving ice floes, arctic seas and the hungry, hungry polar bears.

Look! Here is the Laurence leather cage, lace-up sandals from the Christian Louboutin, in the beautiful riviera blue, because, of the course, the French Riviera is where you would rather be.

Laurance Cage Sandals from Louboutin

Manolo the Columnist: Wallace from Belle by Sigerson Morrison

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

Valentine’s Day is coming up and it also happens to be my nephew’s birthday. My sister is throwing a big bash in his honor and said the attire is “whimsical yet casual” I like wedges but have small feet, What do you suggest?

Elizabeth

Manolo says, ayyyy! The Dia de San Valentin, it approaches! Woe unto the man who neglects his duty to provide for his beloved the items of sufficient quality, cost, and/or sentimentality to properly express his undying affection.

If you are at the loss for what to give, the Manolo suggests costly chocolates, whose cocoa has been delivered to the master-hipster chocolatier’s Brooklyn atelier by the labor-intensive and ecologically-sound modes of transportation, such the windjammer and the cargo bicycle, where it is mixed with finest heirloom ingredients, its mature and complex flavors swathed in luxury, and then lovingly urged into antique heart-shaped molds, plucked out at the exact moment and packaged in the hand-made letterpress box decorated with old-fashionedy 19th century lettering.

Or, you can do the same thing you did the last year, give to your fine lady the single red rose, procured from the $1.99 “Last Minute Valentines” bin at the Quik-Mart while you are filling the Honda Civic with fuel and yourself with Mountain Dew and beef jerky.

Or, you can do as the Manolo’s friend has done and give the whole love thing the pass, and go to the child’s birthday party. It sounds more sensible.

Here is the Wallace from the Belle by Sigerson Morrison, the moderately whimsical, moderately practical wedge heel shoe.

Wallace from Belle by Sigerson Morrison

FEB
2014
03

Manolo the Columnist: Cate the Great Deco from Sorel

Manolo says, here is the Manolo’s latest column for the Express of the Washington Post.

Dear Manolo,

This series of polar vortexes has left me very disgruntled and cold footed. I need a pair of winter boots, and I need them right now. Can you please recommend something serious but with a little flair.

Shanna

Manolo says, the Manolo has noticed that, thanks to the omnipresent hunt for the television ratings, we now live in the era of weather hysteria, when every dip or rise in the temperature, every summer shower or light snowstorm is greeted by the telegenic weather peoples as if it were the impending asteroid strike. The worst of the lot is the Weather Channel, which used to be the boring but sensible provider of climatological information, but is now in the mass panic business, to the point that they are giving names to the ordinary winter storms as if they were the hurricanes.

“Tonight as winter storm Attila the Death-Bringer hammers the area with up to two inches of concentrated white murder, and howling winds of fifteen miles an hours, temperatures will dip into the extinction event zone, falling below the point at which water, itself, ceases to flow, turning the tri-state area into a colorless wasteland of ice and death.”

So, you get up early the next morning, eager to greet the end of the world, only to find that it is 26 degrees, and your neighbor Murry, who is so nice, has already swept the light-dusting of concentrated murder from the sidewalk with the push broom.

Here is the Cate the Great Deco from Sorel, the serious sassy winter boot that, for some reason, makes the Manolo smile.

Cate the Great from SOREL